


Surprising Salvage

by OddmentsandTweaks



Series: Et lilium inter (musicis) spinæ [1]
Category: The Mechanisms (Band)
Genre: ALL the comfort, Adopted Sibling Relationship, Because I Said So!, Canon-Typical Violence, Chapter 10 has some content warnings, Chapter 4 now with AWESOME Fan Art!, Chapter 8 also now contains Awesome Lily fanart-check the end notes for the link!, Character death-they get better pretty quick, Cuddles, Cuddling & Snuggling, Found Family, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Jonny and Nastya's sibling relationship, Kid Fic, More heavy discussions in chapter 11 about what happened to Lily's parents, Platonic Cuddling, Please check the chapter 10 summary before reading, Sleepy Cuddles, The Mechanisms is a big violent dysfunctional family, The Toy Soldier appears in chapter 3!, group hug, lots of comfort, referenced parental death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-08
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:48:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 54,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23059513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OddmentsandTweaks/pseuds/OddmentsandTweaks
Summary: A normal boring morning is made infinitely more exciting by the prospect of a ship boarding. The Mechanisms prepare for chaos and murder and some really good violence. What they get is one very defiantly defended ruined vessel and a morning no one expected at all.
Series: Et lilium inter (musicis) spinæ [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1846969
Comments: 265
Kudos: 279
Collections: Lilly-of-Many-Names Tales





	1. An eventful morning

**Author's Note:**

> This story came about because I asked on a Tumblr Mechanisms chat how did we think the crew of the Aurora would react to going into board a ship for murder and parts and find they're too late and a raiding party has already swept though with even less morals than they have. What they find amongst the wreckage is a lone survivor. Everyone in the chat took the idea and ran with it gloriously and this is just a little bit of it! 
> 
> This is the general origin story for our collective OC Lily and her life and times on the Aurora built up by the wonderful members of the chat 'Hello Ladies'. A huge thank you to StarStuff13, Zinabug, Raspberry_Hallucination, Claryghost and the rest of the fantastic chat group! If you're as much of a sucker for found family fics as we are then other stories including Lily can be found in 'Lily of Many Names' collection! 
> 
> The warning for violence and the teen rating are precautions only, there's canon typical violence, language and character death but it's The Mechanisms, it never really sticks!

The ship appeared on Aurora’s radar one uneventful morning. Brian raised the alert of the potential for some good violence and looting. It didn’t take long for the Aurora to get within hailing distance as the crew known as the Mechanisms got ready to board, intent on murdering everyone on board and stealing whatever was useful, the Aurora always had a raft of repair works that needed doing given the ‘boisterous’ manner in which the crew conducted themselves on a daily basis and it was always handy to have extra parts.

As they drew alongside it Brian’s voice crackled over the intercom again, “uh, this looks more like a wreck there’s heavy damage on the port side, looks like they’ve already been raided.”

“Aww what?” There were other assorted grumbling noises.

“That’s decidedly disappointing.” Remarked Raphaella. She’d been looking forward to trying out a new bio-chemical compound.

“Still, its hull will be good for parts at least.” Ashes, ever the quartermaster, keen to add to inventories.

“And hopefully there’s a few people left to kill.” Tim flashed a feral grin, he had new and untested weaponry.

The Aurora docked smoothly.

Jonny got hold of the comms, “Open up, we can’t die and you are about to be horribly murdered!” he barked gleefully.

Silence, then a crackle of static as the airlock was already opening, a high-pitched, piping voice spilled out through the speakers, “This is MY ship! Go away!”

Jonny was already charging forwards, laughing wildly.

Marius was shouting back, “It’s our ship now!” as the voice’s timber registered for Nastya.

“Jonny,” she began, a note of warning clear, “I think that’s a—”

The bay door opened to reveal a tiny child, grubby, ragged and blood-stained wearing a helmet that looked four times too big for her. The kid looked equal parts terrified and furious, standing firm, feet planted both hands around a gun that matched the size of the helmet. She let out a full-bloodied battle-shriek ‘”I SAID GO AWAY!” shooting Jonny squarely in the chest as he barrelled through hollering, “Surrender and DIE!” The momentum was lost as something that felt very much like a quantum round punched through his chest.

The recoil sent her reeling but she recovered quickly stomping her feet back down again, raising the gun with shaking arms, squeezing the trigger with panicked fingers.

Nothing happened.

She tried again as the rest of the Mechs halted where the first mate had fallen just staring at the scene, all of them too astonished to move.

Nothing continued to happen. The child drew herself up to her full height which was not all that much and, shaking like a leaf, determination and terror burning in her eyes declared, “This is MY ship! GO AWAY!”

There was a beat before someone started to laugh. Which spread almost instantaneously across the entire boarding party.

“Jonny! You got killed by a murder gremlin!” Roared Tim, “That is priceless!”

Ivy sighed, “Jonny, get up already, stop pretending you’re still dead.”

Tears began to fill the child’s eyes at them thinking this was funny but she had to defend the ship. She was the last one. It was her job. She was just debating with herself if she should run away to the corridor or try to fight as she was when the wild man she shot sat up.

He fixed her with a stare that quickly turned approving, taking in her defiant stance and hands still holding the gun.

“Good shot” commented Tim from behind him, giving the child a thumbs up.

“Well played, kid.” He grinned at her looking genuinely impressed.

The little girl took in the laughing grown-ups and the one she shot, the one she _knew_ she’d shot. She saw the blood and him fall and when you fall like that you don’t get back up but he did and he was there and not shot and no one ever got up again but he did and he was alive and smiling and —

She gave a short cry and threw herself at Jonny her helmet flying off as the force nearly knocked him backwards as she wrapped herself around him clinging on desperately, tiny body trembling and beginning to sob in earnest.

His grin morphed to panic but even as he had no conscious idea what to do his arms did. Seemingly of their own accord they wrapped around the quaking creature and held her tight.

He could just about make out the whimpered “You came back! You came back!”

Jonny threw a desperate look to the rest of the crew. Usually when he got back up from being shot people ran _away_ from him, not towards him, and they certainly did not limpet to him like some sort of octokitten.

Nastya stood considering, remembering that fear, “I believe we may be the first people she has seen in a while.” She commented quietly.

The others, having stopped laughing as soon as the kid had hurled themselves at Jonny, they had no idea what to make of that, Jonny didn’t shoot them on instinct so the kid was probably fine for the next five minutes so used the moment instead to move and spread out, Raphaella crouched near to Jonny to take a better look at the little creature whilst the rest took in more details of the ship, Tim sniffed, taking in the air, the faint residuals of gunfire and the underlying scent of Armageddon. “Raiders, 3 weeks ago I reckon.”

“You can tell that by sniffing?” Marius was incredulous.

“Yes,” Tim gave a mirthless smile that was straight out of the tunnels, “that’s about three weeks’ worth of rot. Don’t you think?”

The others nodded grimly, they didn’t make a habit of sticking around long enough for decomp to set in but they were familiar enough with it know.

Marius, Ivy, Ashes and Tim spread out to see what had happened and what would be salvageable. It was pretty obvious what had happened, raiding party had swept through and the kid had somehow been missed in the slaughter. It was unlikely there were any more survivors but it wouldn’t hurt to check. They moved off with a dulled step, the excitement of their hunt curtailed somewhat. The mechanisms were a wild violent lot but the drew the line at children, they should have known something was up with the freighter class, it was more often used as civilian transport. They targeted military vessels or bandits, it was far more fun or _sporting_ as the Toy Soldier would say. Tim paused. He had no idea where the wooden man had got to, thinking about it must have been a few weeks at least. He sighed. Jonny had probably thrown it out of the airlock again.

Raphaella carefully pulled back the dirty hair to try and get a better look at the face beneath it. The face is pressed harder into Jonny’s shoulder with a determined ‘mrphm’ noise which the science officer interpreted as ‘No, leave me alone, I want to stay with the insane first mate.’ Well, each to their own she supposed. Kid’s brain was probably all messed up.

Jonny made to let the little one go but she clung harder with a choked sob of protest. There was brief flash of terror that Raphaella caught on his face before it settled into something that looked a lot like resolve.

For Jonny something inside him twisted at the sound she made, tightening his grip instead of putting her down. He couldn’t even bring himself to be annoyed at the damp that was rapidly soaking into his collar.

Getting to your feet with an armful of small child was tricky but no different to trying to stand with loot/explosives/other general weaponry occupying limbs so he managed to stand with his usual grace.

Raphaella got up with him, nodded before heading off to join the others on their hunt.

“Three weeks?”

“It seems so.” Nastya had a closed off face, clearly considering things she would rather not.

“That’s long.” Jonny clarified, his grip on time wasn’t the best, it didn’t really register when you were immortal, “Longer than she should have managed right?”

“Most likely.”

“Kid’s got some steel.” He added, half impressed and half trying to add some levity, he didn’t like it when Nastya shut down like this. 

“Quite so it seems.”

There was an impressive explosion. Jonny wasn’t entirely sure how he went from holding the child in both arms to having one arm securely around her and one arm fully extending, pistol drawn.

Several more followed.

Jonny clicked the safety off. Behind him he heard Nastya do the same moving to put her back to his covering both possible routes of approach. Heavy footsteps followed by some coughing and muffled chuckles.

“What the fuc—”

The others returned, Marius looking slightly more singed than before. They all froze at the sight of Jonny, flanked by Nastya, pistol held in one hand, their tiny lethal welcome party hoisted onto his hip, arm wrapped protectively around them. It was one of the most incongruous images they’d collectively ever seen. Raphaella wasn’t kidding when she said the kid had latched on to Jonny and he was _tolerating_ it. None of them had believed it till they rounded the corner.

Jonny cocked an eyebrow, daring them to comment, “What happened to you?”

Deciding now was not the moment to rise to Jonny’s challenge Ashes pushed on with the previous amusement, “Someone,” smirked the quartermaster, “walked into a pint-sized trap.”

The others started to laugh once more, “Hey!” Protested Marius, “it was really close to the floor!”

“What?”

“Someone, elaborated Ashes, “and I am assuming that someone is currently attached to you set up a fairly impressive tripwire hazard, she must have found left over magnesium grenades. It was fairly impressive, like a corridor of flame.” There was actual admiration in their voice.

“Yeah” huffed Marius, “well I only got a bit burned, and I didn’t get a water canister to the face.”

“It was an impressive display of an understanding of physics.” replied Raphaella coolly, refusing to nurse the fading bruise on her cheek.

“So limpet here set some traps? Nice.” Jonny sounded oddly proud. He tone turned a little more sombre, “I take it your nose was right Tim?”

“Looks that way.” Tim’s expression softened when looking at the little girl still clinging to Jonny as though he’d disappear if she let go, face buried in his neck. Interestingly the first mate didn’t look the slightest bit put out. It was kind of weird now naturally the kid fit against him. The master at arms felt like he should be mocking Jonny mercilessly he couldn’t quite bring himself to tease when the raggedy scrap was still trembling.

“Ivy you get the recorder?” Jonny turned his attention to the archivist, they should probably find out what happened, figure out which people the kid belongs to, someone would probably want her back right?

“Yes, I’ll examine the details later.” Ivy looked almost concerned, the tell-tale slight tilt of the head told him she was calculating the odds of the child’s survival. Probably ongoing chance of survival too. Something clenched in his gut but he had no idea what that was about. He decided to ignore that for the time being.

She was also calculating a barrage of other variables but no one needed to know about them yet.

“We should leave, well, those of us with small children attached to them.” Marius stared pointedly at Jonny.

“Why?”

“Because we are ankle deep in her people around the corner. And she could probably do with not being here anymore.” Came a surprisingly serious Marius.

Jonny huffed. He had been hoping for some good violence, it had been a while. You could do good violence one handed too. He knew from experience. But he had not expected to suddenly be some sort of comfort, anchor, thing for a tiny mortal. His arm tightened involuntarily around the kid anyway. He decided not to examine that instinct too closely. He was just impressed the little thing tried to kill them all. That earned them a brief reprieve from being shot at. Yeah. He turned his attention to the engineer to distract from his own thoughts. “Nastya, you okay to look for good parts?” He caught her eye, quirking an eyebrow to check in. This had bothered her far more than any of their previous jaunts.

She gave him a curt nod, “it shouldn’t take me more than a few hours if there is anything useful.”

Jonny grinned covering his concern, resolving to find her later instead. He knew well enough she’d just want to get the job done and make sure the journey wasn’t wasted.

“Right well, um, back to the Aurora then. The rest of you see what you can find and help Nastya.”

He holstered his gun to the sounds of ‘fuck off Jonny.” As was customary whenever he tried to give orders. Jonny flipped the bird to the salvage party before moving to hold the tiny thing in both arms once again. He finally looked down to address the raggedy bundle, “this is the first time I’ve brought someone on board, normally we just get stowaways turn up.” His voice was softer than he intended, he’d sounded gruffer and put up on in his head. To his surprise, large eyes were both open and looking back at him, eyes that were too young to have seen the things reflected in them. “Going somewhere safe?” came the small voice, tentative, hopeful.

“Yes,” Jonny found himself answering sincerely before his brain could catch up with his mouth. “Somewhere safe.”


	2. Introductions, Titles and Tackling one thing at a time...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The weaponry wielding survivor is brought on board the Aurora, names are exchanged and several plans are put into motion. As it turns out First Mates, and Science Officer have surprising wrangling skills...

It was fair to say that Jonny D’Ville, rampaging murdering space pirate captain who left music and destruction in his wake wherever he went had absolutely _no_ fucking idea what he was doing.

Currently he was making his way to the mess hall for lack of any better destination, it was where everyone usually gathered so that made sense surely. That or his feet was on autopilot. He couldn’t be sure. Normally this wouldn’t be unusual for him to head to the mess after a boarding but the tightly held bundle in his arms made this a distinctively odd morning.

He made straight for the table they all sat at for meals and attempted to stand the kid on it to get a better look.

“Come on,” he began, matter-of-factly, “down you get. I want a look at you.”

As soon as his arms started to loosen about her the child started to whimper, “No, no!”

His voice immediately softened of its own accord, “Hey, it’s alright, I just want to see the face of the person that shot me.”

The little girl flinched, scrunching up smaller against him.

Jonny sighed, “I’m not angry,” he grinned at the bundle, “I’m actually quite impressed if I’m honest, that was an eight calibre quantum loading pistol. You’re stronger than you look.”

The words had the desired effect, a face had reappeared with the ghost of a grin.

“And you’ve got a good taste in weaponry, Tim is going to like you. But,” He paused, fixing her with a searching stare as the thought occurred, “that must have been a hell of a kickback. You hurt?”

The headshake was deeply unconvincing.

He should probably call her out on that, that was something that may need fixing, “C’mon,” he dropped his voice and added conspiratorially, “Captain to Captain.”

“M’not a—”

Jonny was having none of it, “You were the highest ranking officer on your ship. Makes you the Captain. Like I’m the Captain of this one.” He was honestly surprised he didn’t hear someone yell ‘First Mate!’ omnisciently.

At ‘this one’ the child seemed to realise her surroundings had changed, she looked about warily, “this is the Aurora. Well, the mess hall.”

The child continued to regard the room nervously from the safety of his chest. A chest that had tightened unexpectedly. He huffed internally, he never liked not understanding his own reactions to things but he couldn’t blame a kid for that. He decided to ignore any feeling whatsoever and get back to the matter at hand.

“Anyway, you hurt?”

“I—a bit, it’s alright.”

He appreciated the stoicism, but still he should probably take a look at her. He had no idea what to look for though, you were either alive, dying or dead. He didn’t have much experience in anything between alive and dying.

“C’mon show me.”

Her grip tightened on him.

A huff escaped him, “I’m not going hurt you and I’m not going to disappear on you either.”

Of course he wouldn’t hurt her, he wasn’t a _bad one_ no, it was the other thing, “They didn’t get up.” She explained in a whisper, white knuckling his waistcoat lapels. 

“Well that’s because—” he stopped himself finishing that sentence with ‘they’re dead’ that seemed unnecessary even for him. He’d smelled the ship, she’d been _on_ it for three fucking weeks she _knew_ that in all its forms. His insides twisted again without warning, he ignored it to answer a little more gently, “That’s because they’re not me, or my crew. We get back up.”

Big eyes stared demandingly back at him “Why?” Good, he was pleased to see some anger there, it would probably serve her well in the days to come.

“It’s a long story…” Inspiration struck, “that I will tell you if you let me have a look at you properly, like I said, I want to see the person who shot me so convincingly, that was good ship defence.”

Very reluctantly, she let go of Jonny to stand on the table facing him.

She really was tiny, probably only coming up to his hip if she stood on the floor next to him, filthy matted hair that could have been as light as Raph’s or as dark as Marius’, more grime and blood than clean skin and ragged, horrendously stained torn clothes. Something, for the second time that morning, twisted in his guts. Some instinct that he didn’t think belonged to him wanted to wrap his arms around her again make sure nothing touched her again. He shoved that aside in favour of looking directly at her.

The blue eyes that stared back were wide and frightened but they still held challenge, held a fighting spirit that had probably kept her alive for so long.

Jonny liked a fighter.

“Alright then captain, you got a name?”

“Lily.”

“Well Lily, my name is Jonny D’Ville, welcome to the Aurora.” He proffered a hand for her to shake, she gave him the smallest smile before taking his hand shaking firmly.

“So this is where you ended up.”

As Jonny turned to face the source of the voice he was aware of Lily suddenly pressing flat against his side, trembling once again. His arm was back around her and he was shielding her with his body before he even knew what had happened.

Raphaella La Cognizi was striding towards him, looking like she had a new experiment to run.

“Raph,” He nodded in greeting.

“You get her name?” Raphaella was all business clearly interested, as always in finding out more about something.

“Lily.”

“Any damage?”

“Said she’s hurt from the recoil from the blaster and she’s all messed up, not sure what’s her blood or other peoples.

“Hmm,” She switched her attention to the child, “Lily, can you tell me where it hurts?”

The child pressed closer to Jonny.

Jonny squeezed her reassuringly before he’d even thought about the gesture, “S’all right, Raph’s part of my crew, she’s the science officer, she knows how to stop stuff hurting (she did, it was usually through half an ounce of lead to the brain but he wasn’t about to tell the child that) and,” he paused, suddenly inspired as he eyed his crewmate, he dropped his voice to a conspiratorial whisper, “she’s got wings.”

Lily’s face shot up to focus on Raphaella, immediately excited despite everything. Wings on people were _awesome_ after all. She was still pressed securely against Jonny but she had a look of wonder on her face as she took in the mechanised wings.

Raphaella was actually a little bit impressed, not that that she’d tell Jonny that of course.

“Hello,” she deliberately tried to sound friendly, “my name is Raphaella La Cognizi, I am the science officer on board the Aurora, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“You have beautiful wings.” Came the small voice.

“Thank you.” She _was_ rather proud of them.

“Can I stroke them?” The child’s eyes lit up hopefully.

That was a question no one had ever her before, in the second it took her to process Jonny leapt in seeing an opportunity, “If you get cleaned up first for Raph to have a look at you then she might let you.” He gave her an appraisingly look, “Depends how brave you are.”

The child whirled on Jonny, suddenly full of indignance, “I am brave!”

Jonny hid his grin at Lily’s annoyance, kid definitely had spirit, “I didn’t say you weren’t, it’s not me you have to convince.” Jonny turned very deliberately back to face Raphaella.

The science officer was amused at both the obvious plan, and going by the look on the child’s face that it had worked.

“Please?” 

Raph was firm, “You need to be clean first. There’s a general washroom we can go to,” she saw the grip tighten on Jonny once again, “Jonny can bring you,” she continued without missing a beat.

Jonny looked genuinely terrified at the prospect of what cleaning entailed, she was quite frankly _revolting_ , but since he’s seen, smelled and _been_ worse himself he couldn’t find it in him to properly complain. It had to be bad for her though. And she was a kid. A proper kid and most definitely someone else’s. The fear flashed across his face for a moment before Raphaella gave him one of her gentler smiles, the one that specifically said, ‘don’t worry I have a plan and it won’t be scarring.’

“Come on, it’s not far.”

Lily was plastered against Jonny fully once again, he resigned to carrying the little scrap down the corridor, it wasn’t like she was heavy. He refused to pay attention to the fact he was getting very used to having her in his arms and even more so that he didn’t mind it. What he did pay attention to was that Lily was clearly making an effort to take in the sights around her. He wasn’t sure if it was genuine curiosity or that she was trying to prove her courage already to earn her part of the bargain. Jonny was pretty pleased with himself that that actually worked, he was basing it on exactly zero knowledge of children’s interests and 100% on the fact that he thought Raph’s wings were fascinating (though he’d never admit it). Still, it worked. And he hadn’t had to shoot anything.

The general washroom wasn’t often used, everyone preferring to use the shower units in their cabins but it was a functional space, with large bath and separate shower, the shower was surrounded by two sets of screens, one for the actual shower and the second as a wet room within a wet room.

Jonny could feel his trepidation building, he had absolutely no clue what the hell Raphaella was planning but he was getting more nervous by the minute. He was absolutely, utterly and non-negotiably not going to be involved in any bathing rituals of anyone apart from himself.

“Here we are.” The science officer ignored an increasingly panicked-looking Jonny in favour of focusing all her attention on Lily, “Now, you’ve got a choice, do you want to use the bath or the shower?”

Lily considered, baths were something she had on the ship with mummy and daddy and—she stopped that train of thought as she willed away the tears. She was supposed to be being brave. She swallowed hard and with her firmest voice she answered, “I’d like a shower please.”

“Good. Come over and check the water for me.” Raphaella turned on the shower.

Jonny felt her press against him for moral support again before clearly resolving to do as she was asked, her posture shifted as she straightened her back and began to climb down. He pointedly ignored the frankly ridiculous swell of pride that rose as he lowered her gently. She stood on her own two feet (he was right, she was just about up to his hip), one hand still clutching the fabric of his trousers. She took a deep breath then let go, walking the five steps to Raphaella.

“Just put your hand in the water and tell me if it’s hot enough.”

Lily considered Raphaella’s words and her face, she didn’t look like she was trying to trick her and she was Jonny’s friend. With a quick reassuring glance back to Jonny who was looking as encouraging as he could she decided to trust the lady with the wings and stuck her hand fully in the water.

She gasped, it felt so nice. She suddenly realised how utterly disgusting she felt compared to the clean water.

“Warm enough?”

“Yes. Thank you.”

“Good. Now I am I right in thinking you are grown, capable and independent enough to get yourself clean on your own?” 

Lily looked torn, on one hand she was grown enough, she was eight years old not a baby! But on the other, she didn’t like the idea of being on her own. The bad ones might come back.

The science officer interpreted the expression fairly accurately, “I will be right here and,” she could actually feel Jonny’s panic increase tenfold, “Jonny will go and get you some new clean clothes to wear.”

Lily’s eyes snapped to Jonny’s the terror obvious in hers, the first mate momentarily forgetting everything else screaming across his brain in his rush to reassure her. He dropped to one knee. “C’mere,” the child rushed to him, throwing her arms around him desperately. He held her tight before speaking softly and full of authority, “I’ll be right back, I’m not leaving you. I’m going to go to get you something clean to wear whilst you show off how much courage you’ve got packed in you for Raph.” He had no idea he even possessed such a tone but it seemed to be working.

“Do you promise?”

“Of course.” Another idea struck him, “Anyway,” he continued casually, “I’ll have to come back if you’re looking after these for me.” With a quick motion Jonny removed his goggles and placed them over her head, they formed a bespectacled necklace hanging loosely to her sternum. They got covered in enough blood that a bit of shower water wasn’t going to do anything worse to them. Anchors were a thing that worked right? Basic deal, ‘you have something I need I’ll come back’.

The child leaned back to look at him, wonder and duty mixing in her face.

“Think you can do that for me?”

“Yes.” She agreed.

“Good girl.” He gave her a mock a salute to try and raise another smile. She returned it with full sincerity. Jonny cleared his throat. Shit, he really couldn’t spend long looking for stuff. He ruffled her hair affectionately, ignoring both the horror that was her matted mess of her head and that he’d just done something so familiar so unthinkingly.

“Right, over to you Raph,” he dropped his voice again to Lily, “I know how brave you can be.” He assured her.

“Good, come on Lily, there’s plenty of soaps in the shower, just leave your clothes outside the shower door, I’ll be there with a towel for you.”

Lily squared her shoulders, nodded to Jonny then marched behind the first screen door.

The first mate let out a breath he didn’t realise he’d been holding.

“Jonny,”

“Yes?” 

“Get something clean of yours.” Raphaella’s tone brooked no argument.

“Of mine? Why?”

“Because it’ll smell like you.”

That was not the answer he’d been expecting, more like a dig that he was one of the shorter mechanisms.

“I, what?”

“It’s a comfort thing, animals settle better with a familiar scent and she obviously trusts you so it makes sense to help her calm down and tell us what happened.”

“I think that’s pretty fucking obvious.”

“Indeed, but still.”

“It’s not a story I want to tell.” His voice had taken on a low growl.

The science officer huffed in exasperation, “No, but it may be one _she_ needs too.”

That. That was something he hadn’t considered.

Jonny wasn’t really arguing about giving Lily one of his shirts, he’d already picked the one to use it was more about exactly why it was him that had been picked. Even with all the not-dying business.

Annoyingly Raphaella was as clever as she was beautiful, “She’s picked you because she has decided you do not pose a threat to her and you cannot abandon her by dying. And to be fair Jonny all your actions towards her so far underline that. I would imagine that after three weeks on board that ship, alone, with the decaying remains of your people and at the mercy of whoever came along next having something that is both confirmed not a threat and something that could annihilate an actual threat would be most welcome.”

“I, what? How do you know all this stuff?”

“I observe, Jonny and record my findings. A scientific approach, you may have heard of it.” She quirked her lips smugly at him.

He snorted, he didn’t like not understanding situations and he didn’t like it when Raphaella deliberately demonstrated just how intelligent she was at his expense. He could shoot her but firstly that would most certainly frighten Lily and he found he really didn’t like the look of terror on her face and secondly, he had to admit he would have been entirely lost with the whole clean up thing without her. He could have tipped Lily in the bath and handed her a scrubbing brush but that would most likely have not gone down well.

He settled for snarking instead, “Another experiment then?”

“Yes, I’m interested to discover a few things, being around the young of a species.”

Jonny sighed, “They’re called children Raphaella.”

She remained unruffled, “Point stands, I don’t have a lot of experience of witnessing such behaviour and I am interested how long it takes her to get all the blood off her and which cleaning solution is the most effective.”

His eyes widened, “Wait there’s not anything—”

Raphaella rolled her eyes, “No, I removed all the dangerous materials out of there already Jonny, don’t worry.”

“I wasn’t worried I was—”

She cut over him, not believing a word, “Going to get her something clean to wear.”

“I, yes, yes I am going to do that.”

Without another word he turned on his heel to fetch something suitable.

Once he was gone Raphaella smiled to herself, this was a most interesting development. It could prove to be quite a rewarding investigation.


	3. Cooking and Conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A freshly clean Lily meets the rest of the crew whilst Jonny begins to process the situation he's ended up in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one took a while to pull together, but in good news it is a longer chapter, I couldn't break it up any more than it already was! 
> 
> Lily is currently just rolling with this situation as best she can because that's all she can do. Jonny is beginning to realise the depth of responsibility that's fallen on him with his usual level of grace. The others are there to smack some sense into him.

'Not a threat. Not a threat.’ The phrase kept repeating over and over like a particularly confusing refrain. 

  
  


Of course he was a threat. He was the most threatening thing on ship. He was Jonny fucking D'Ville and had killed more people than others had met. 

  
  


And yet. 

  
  


And yet. 

  
  


Here he was hunting through his bombsite (literal and figurative) of a room to find the shirt he thought would be most suitable for a little girl. A little mortal presumably orphaned child who'd survived the massacre of her ship and still decided he was the safest thing to latch onto in a hundred light years radius. 

  
  


There were only two things he was certain of, 1) she was a horrible judge of character and 2) He had absolutely no idea what to do with a small child especially a mortal one. 

  
  


Three, (though only if he continued to ignore it) he didn't _actually_ resent it. Jonny didn't do nice, he didn't do kind and he sure as fuck didn't do understanding. Hadn't for a very, _very_ long time. So he had no idea what was happening. He didn't understand his own reactions much less the instincts that seemed to drive them. It should be driving him crazy, he should be shooting and hollering and raging like he usually did when anything got too difficult to deal with or to understand. So why was he hunting for the shirt he knew would be easy to cut down. Why did he care that it would be warm enough?

He didn't know why his arms seemed to know how to hold a small human comfortably either or why he was so concerned with her being warm and comfortable in the clothes he found for her. His basic settings could be described as Murder, Drink, Sing repeat, he didn’t really understand his own thoughts and feelings beyond the basic rage, maniacal glee, and the euphoria of either a really good gig or some truly spectacular violence. This was uncharted territory. Often as not, any new behaviour that appeared he'd panic and chalk it up to lurking programming by Carmilla. This though, this didn't feel like it belonged to her, it felt too gentle, too soft, too _right_. He didn't know what that meant either. 

Or rather, softer things, gentler emotions were a whole other alien concept, made strangers by their lack of use. Apparently, they hadn’t quite shrivelled up and died like he’d demanded centuries ago. Insubordinate bastards.

Well, there wasn’t a lot he could do about it now. He had discovered this sudden invasion of unwanted feelings were tied up to a tiny scrap of a moral that he had no idea what to with other than not scare her and not let her die. The idea of either happening made his guts do unpleasant things without his permission. Utter bastards.

So, he couldn’t deal with his issues by shooting them so he was going to have to find another way. With a growl he decided to push all thoughts away and concentrate on the job at hand, find her clean clothes. Something that would made her feel safe. The Aurora was probably cold after all.

Everything else he could shoot later.

***.

Lily had actually let out a little squeal when he’d handed over the hastily cut down buttoned down shirt and trousers (both were things he’d been meaning to repair but hadn’t got round to -now they served a better purpose though he was annoyed he hadn’t the time to hem them properly) the most freshly washed socks he owned and a belt to hold the ensemble together, he’d had to make several new holes in it to be able to buckle around her effectively. He tried not to notice how the heels of the socks nearly reached the backs of her knees. 

And if that little sound of pure joy was something he was going to remember for as long as he was able to well, no other fucker needed to know.

What they also didn’t need to know was that Lily, once she’d towel-dried herself and got dressed had asked Raphaella again if she could stroke her wings.

Raph kept the moment of softness off her face as best she could but Jonny caught it anyway, it was such a rare expression. The science officer had agreed noting both that Lily had been brave and cleaned herself up very well. She’d also confirmed quietly to Jonny that all of Lily’s potential injuries seemed to have been someone else’s blood. She had some superficial bruising and a few scratches. Raphaella was more concerned about the potential malnutrition and dehydration because these are things that affected mortals negatively, small ones especially.

The whole thing was bewildering for Jonny, he actually cared about all the details. He was _worried_ which was an entirely alien emotion that he didn't know to do with. Raphaella saw his confusion and concern. She decided to be merciful for once, mainly because his reactions were so fascinating, she intended to write up a full report on her observations when back in her lab. She handed him a hairbrush then looked pointedly at the chaos of tangles that adorned Lily's head, he needed something to do with his hands and it was an excellent experiment to see if Jonny's apparent paternal instincts would continue to crawl out of dormancy. 

"Start from the bottom, work your way up slowly."

He wasn’t entirely sure how it ended up with Raphaella sat crossed legged on the floor in front of Lily who was sat on a stool in front of him. Lily was carefully stroking Raph’s wings with nothing short of reverence on her face whilst Jonny was doing his level best to gently brush the worst of the tangles out her surprisingly light coloured hair.

Lily in general had changed colours significantly following her extended shower. (Raphaella had ordered her to complete another round of scrubbing until she was satisfied) no longer a mix of dust, blood and grime she had lighter skin that looked like it had had a healthy glow until recently and had hair so blonde it looked white. He ran his fingers through it carefully, mussing it gently, Lily leaned backwards without stopping her delicate tracing of Raph’s wings butting softly against Jonny’s middle. It was such a gesture of familiarity Jonny felt his breath catch. They needed to find this kid’s people fast.

***

By the time Lily was clean and dressed in the clothes Jonny had given her the others had returned to the Aurora, parts secured in the stores and black box filed away for later viewing.

The rest of the crew, including Brian had assembled in the mess.

The others had warned him Jonny may come sauntering in with a kid in tow but nothing prepared him for the real thing. To be fair, the rest of them were barely prepared.

Jonny strode back in a much cleaner child on his hip as he gesticulated wildly with the other hand telling them some story looking as though this was a thing the two of them did regularly. They didn’t miss the look of delight on her well-scrubbed face, fully engrossed in whatever nonsense Jonny was spinning. They also didn’t miss Raphaella La Cognizi following in behind, looking almost fond and decidedly pleased. Like a cat that got the cream.

“You clean up well little sniper!” Called Tim, he had absolutely no frame of reference to deal with what he was looking at, Jonny looked so _comfortable_. It was all distinctly too weird so decided to try and get a handle of the situation anyway he could. The child whirled around, suddenly aware of the others in the room, she drew close against Jonny, for reassurance and that was something Tim never thought he’d witness someone do.

“What’s a sniper?” she ask shyly.

“Someone who shoots well.” He explained with as friendly a smile as he knew how to do.

The child gave a mirroring smile, knowing it was something Jonny wasn’t cross about. Feeling bold from her safe vantage point of Jonny she added, “My name’s Lily. Who are you?”

Jonny grinned his best shit-eating grin at the others, “Lily, may I introduce to you the crew of the Aurora, “Gunpowder Tim our master at arms.” Tim bowed with a little more flourish than normal.

“Ashes O'Reilly, our quartermaster.” Ashes tipped their hat in recognition

  
  


“Nastya Rasputina our engineer,” Nastya gave a small curtsey and a smaller smile.

  
  


“Drumbot Brian our pilot,” Brian took a bow with a much bigger smile.

  
  


“Ivy Alexandria ship’s archivist,” Ivy nodded giving Lily an appraisingly look

  
  


“Baron Marius von Raum, ship’s doctor, neither a Baron nor a doctor,” Marius gave a swooping, exaggerated bow grinning broadly.

  
  


“Raphaella La Cognizi our science officer who you’ve already met and—”He was thrown off by seeing a familiar moustached face waving happily, “Oh GOD when did that get in here?!” 

  
“No idea,” Sighed Tim.

“I just assume it's always here.” Shrugged Ashes.

“Who is that?” Questioned Lily, interested in the new addition. It looked like a toy she’d seen in one of the ship’s story books  
  


“Well, that is the Toy Soldier and its present as usual.” Jonny refused to elaborate any further. Lily waved to the Toy Soldier who waved back looking delighted. “Jolly Good To Make Your Acquaintance!”

Jonny rolled his eyes before he picked his stride back up, “And I’m your humble Capt-

“First Mate!” Chorused all of them.

“He’s the Captain!” Insisted Lily.

“Ha! See!” Grinned Jonny triumphantly.

“Is that what he told you?” Asked Nasyta with a raised eyebrow.

“Jonny that is cheating getting a guest to vouch for you!” Admonished Ivy.

“Yes! He’s the Captain of this ship” Insisted Lily.

“Because it’s true!” Jonny dug his heels in.

“No it isn’t!” Bit back Tim. He would be permanently dead before he allowed Jonny to call himself Captain. He had been a private in the war and could only just about tolerate ‘First Mate’ since that wasn’t an army rank.

“Lily,” Explained Brian gently, “Jonny is the first mate of the Aurora.”

“We don’t have a Captain.” Added Marius who was smirking obnoxiously.

“I’m a Captain!” bounced Lily, enjoying the sudden lively exchange, everyone seemed like this was something they discussed a lot, so it must be something familiar for them and so safe for her.

“Yes, of _your_ ship.” Jonny clarified, getting a little annoyed at the more fervent than usual disregard of his rank.

“Ha, Jonny she outranks you!” Chuckled Ashes, finding the whole thing hilarious.

“Lily’s the Captain now!” Crowed Tim, loving the entire exchange. Jonny D’Ville game, set and matched by a kid who was smaller than some of his guns.

Actual annoyance melted the second Jonny saw the genuine happiness on her face as she giggled. “Years this lot have tried to oust me, you’re here five minutes and look what happens! Such betrayal!” He lamented dramatically.

She faltered suddenly looking worried, Raphaella picked up on it immediately. She spoke up, “Lily, whenever Jonny sounds like that, he never being serious.”

“Or at least,” added in Ivy, “a 99.9 recurring probability.”

Lily breathed a sigh of relief. That sounded like a lot, she really didn’t want Jonny to be cross with her. He was safe and she didn’t want him to go away.

Jonny had also picked up on the sudden uncertainty in the girl, the way she stiffened against him, so gave her his most (what he hoped was at least) reassuring grin and winked at her.

On cue her stomach rumbled.

Jonny chuckled, that was something he did understand, and Raphaella had said she’d need to eat sooner rather than later.

“Well this has been fun and all but who wants to feed our little sniper? Ashes you’re still banned from the kitchen after the last 5 times and I can’t cook for sh—” Brian was staring pointedly at him. Ah fuck it. “Sh-anything. So volunteers?”

“Do we even have anything edible in?”

“Yes,” answered Ashes immediately, “there’s still some adorean dules left, half a loaf of pullcker dross and several cans of various things that could be classed as food. Whiskey doesn’t count. We can pull more supplies from storage but we'll need to stock up again sooner rather than later.” 

  
“Alright, well I love a challenge.” Marius started rolling up his sleeves, he caught sight of her eyeing his arm with wonder and got an idea, “you want to help?” He offered her his mechanised hand. 

Lily paused for a moment, he seemed nice, and if he was Jonny’s friend too then he’d be as nice as Raphaella was surely. She looked back up to Jonny for reassurance, “If you want to make sure you can eat what Marius makes you're best off watching what he's up to and making sure he’s doing it right.” 

Lily gave him a small smiled before nodding. She squeezed him for good measure before climbing down from his arms before turning to take the bigger mechanism's hand carefully. 

Marius was internally pretty thrilled that she’d taken him up on the offer, he’d get a better look at her and make sure she was physically okay as well as see where she was mentally at the moment. Also, it was nice to be trusted so easily. He’d missed that. “Great! I could always use another pair of eyes in the kitchen, let’s make something for this ungrateful lot.” He closed his fingers very gently around hers, leading her into the kitchen. Brian who had an inkling of basic culinary etiquette followed in behind to make sure nothing actually poisonous was concocted. Lily looked back to Jonny once they’d made it to the kitchen, Brian positioned her so she see into the mass hall easily.

At the same time Jonny also positioned himself to remain in view of kitchen walk through just in case something ignited and he needed to pull her out there. You never knew how things could go.

The others filtered out, having enough social awareness that more novelty would be had later but crowding a small traumatised child was probably not the best move. Plus, there was plenty to time to mock Jonny about it later.

“So Jonny,” 

“What?” 

“How's babysitting going?” 

“Fuck off Ashes.”

“No, I actually want to know.” They seemed relatively serious for them.

“Know what?”

They stared at him, unimpressed. 

“She's still alive isn't she? So well, I think?” 

He'd meant to sound brusque and unconcerned. It came out more as a question. He huffed in annoyance. 

Ashes considered, “Well, you know what, yeah she's still alive, that's a pretty good record for any of us. “

Jonny looked surprised, a small real smile appearing before he covered it with a smirk, “Well I have some skills.” 

“Yeah as a climbing frame.”

“Fuck off.” 

It was Ashes’ turn to smirk. 

Jonny sobered, realising he now had a prime opportunity to deal with the issue that had been bothering him, “Look, can you keep an eye on her? I need to find Nastya.” 

“No,” Ashes’ face hardened.

“Ashes—”

“No, Jonny, you can't leave her right now.”

This made no sense. She was fine. And busy. “Why?” 

"Because if she's expecting you to be there when she looks up, which she's done fourteen times in the last four minutes and you are not there she is going to freak the fuck out. And none of the rest of us are ready to deal with that." 

He huffed, not understanding why this was an issue, "She’s fine, I won't be long." He added if that was the problem.

"Jonny. You are not fucking listening." 

He rounded on them, Lily was fine and occupied and Nastya was upset, had been upset by the ship they found Lily on and he wanted to check on her. He wasn't worried of course, he was just being a good Captain checking on the crew like you were supposed to. Why was Ashes being a dick about this? "Since when did you know shit about this?" He asked aloud.

“Since I had Goddamn eyes.” Jonny looked both furious and uncomprehending, Ashes sighed resenting having to explain basic fucking social contracts to him, "I know that look, okay, it's one that says 'my whole fucking world will fall apart if you leave me' so don't. Don't do that just because you can't read a kid's face. That kid is hanging on by the raggedy edge. Don't be your usual you okay, pay some fucking attention." 

Jonny was simmering with rage but given that he felt he shouldn't murder Ashes right here and now he settled for glaring at them instead. Glaring meant taking more time which meant he noticed something, Ashes wasn't looking at him properly, they were somewhere else in their head. Thinking of something else. It suddenly clicked for him. 

“Mickey?”

Ashes wheeled on him with all the ferocity of a slathering moon beast, "You shut your fucking mouth before I shut for you."

He snarled but didn't rise to it, he knew this was something they would not back down on. He knew that look, he was three seconds from immolation and that really _would_ upset Lily. "Fine. I won't leave, I'll find Nastya later." 

"Good choice," the quarter master lit up a cigarette, took a drag then turned on their heel, stopped, fixed Jonny with an inescapable glare, "Do not fuck this up." They stalked towards the door, without looking back they yelled, "No whiskey!"

  
"Spoilsport!" complained Marius from the Kitchen. 

"Don't care!" Came the reply, and with that Ashes was gone. 

Jonny took a moment to try and process what had just happened. Ashes never really talked about Malone, but he knew the betrayal of Smooth Mickey had cut them deep, more than just because it led to them ending up on Carmilla's table. Ashes and Mickey had been close from the bits he'd picked up, he'd been a father-figure for them and burned them anyway. His own father was a wastrel that he didn't regret killing, should have done it years before for how miserable he'd made his mother but he'd stopped One-eyed Jack in his tracks when he tried to extend a paternal hand. One useless father had been enough. 

Jonny felt the enormity of what Ashes had implied smash through him like one of Tim's percussive rounds. 

"F U C K." he breathed, fingers already reaching for his own pack of smokes. He was all set to have a breakdown right there and then, eyeing the domestic display unfolding in the kitchen. He was not capable. He was in no way capable of being anyone’s guardian for any length of time.

“Jonny! Jonny! Come and taste this!” The piping little voice was like a tiny siren. All his instincts of 'Run. Run the fuck away RIGHT NOW!' Disintegrated at the sound of her voice, she sounded excited. What the hell was he supposed to do about this? If Ashes was right? He was horrible, violent, dangerous and of the distinct understanding that morals happened to other people. He'd break her, he'd _kill_ her by accident. This was going to be horrific. He could feel his heart rate speed up exponentially. 

With an effort he didn't think he was capable of producing he pulled himself together, “Coming Lily, what've you made?”

He had to admit, now he was paying attention, it smelled pretty good. 

“It's Junket! You put everything in a pan!” Lily was smiling excitedly, stood on a box one of them must have found so she could reach the hobs and pans. Brian was hovering nearby, clearly poised to scoop her up if she got too close to the heat. 

What Jonny was looking at was an omelette, an omelette with what looked like the contents of every can they'd apparently found in the kitchen fried into it. Honestly it could have been a lot worse. Lily was already mixing up the next batch. 

“Try a bit!” She tore a bit of the first one off with a fork and held it out to him. Jonny took the piece dutifully, shoving it into his mouth. It surprisingly tasted better than he was expecting but then again, the things he'd eaten ranged so wildly he wasn't exactly a reliable judge. 

She was looking at him expectantly, Marius was doing a pantomime with his eyebrows behind her staring pointedly at Jonny.

“Is it good?” She prompted.

The eyebrows suddenly made sense.

Oh. OH. “Yes,” he said out loud, “delicious, it’s probably the best thing to come out of this kitchen in a while.” That was actually pretty fair of him, between Ashes’ charred offerings and Raphaella’s literal poison it wasn’t a hard contest. Brian and Marius did cook quite a bit but he wasn’t about to tell them that he actually _liked_ their cooking. They’d be insufferable.

She beamed at him, throwing her arms around his neck planting a happy kiss to his cheek before turning back to Brian. “Can we whisk more eggs?”

“Of course.”

Lily had completely missed Jonny short circuiting.

Marius hadn’t.

Once Lily was occupied again Marius threw an arm around Jonny, hauling him out of the galley, pulling him to just out of earshot but just in sight.

It was pretty telling that Jonny let him. 

“Jonny. Jonny get a grip.”

The first mate seemed to come back to himself.

“What? Fuck off—”

“No, I saw that look on your face. Get your shit together.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“You. I saw that panic. That ‘oh fuck I have a kid now, fucking RUN’ panic. Just keep it together. You can’t dump this kid because you can’t deal with the responsibly or the feelings she comes with.”

It was deeply unfair Marius could read his face like a goddamned book, he wasn’t going to run, no, he just needed a minute to get his thoughts in order and figure out what the fuck he was going to do about this whole situation. “Marius—”

“No. You can’t shoot me right now and I know you asshole. This is starting to sink in and you are thinking of running because you sure as shit can’t shoot her.”

The sudden apocalyptic fury in Jonny’s face actually took Marius by surprise.

“Listen here _Baron_ ,” he hissed, “no one, _no one_ is fucking touching that kid. I don’t know why she picked me but I am not some Goddamned animal. ”

Marius recovered from his shock, oddly pleased at the fervency of the words, Jonny might actually be taking this more seriously than he thought, “Good. Don’t run either.”

“As if I—”

“You were thinking it. And honestly, I get it. But you can’t, it’s too late. And given all her babbling just now about how kind and fucking _nice_ you are, if that gets inverted into sobs because of you I will find new and excruciating ways to end you. Keep your shit together till we take her somewhere safe, away from us. You are the only thing keeping this kid together right now. Her ship was a trip, nothing else survived and she’s had three weeks of being surrounded by everything she knew destroyed.” He dead-eyed Jonny. “She tried to cover them, her people. Sheets and blankets, put down little trinkets. She’s clearly a good kid, seen way too much too soon and you are the thing she’s clinging to, to stay sane.”

“More psycho-analytical bullshit?”

“No, just fucking common empathic sense you moron.”

Just for a second he sees Jonny’s guard drop as he absorbs the information rather than punching him. Huh, this might actually be having a positive effect on him. “Just don’t fuck it up.” He adds a little more gently, pleased Jonny seems to be actually taking on board what he’s saying for once.

“Ashes said the same thing.”

“Yeah? Well they’re right. C’mon, it won’t be for long.”

“I am absolutely killing you when you least expect it.”

“Yeah, yeah, I stay around her though and you’re fucked.”

“Smug bastard.”

“And?”

“Using a mortal child as a human shield is cheating.”

“Says the man who’s never played an honest game of poker in his _life.”_

“Oh fuck you Marius.”

“You couldn’t afford me,”

That used to startle him, how he just snorts, “Wouldn’t want to.”

“That’s because you’ve got no taste, speaking of, better get back to dinner. Call the others in, it’s nearly done and this kid could probably do with spending as much time around living people as possible right now.”

Jonny found he sometimes got whiplash talking to Marius, how he could flip between emotions and intent as easily as breathing, the way he was just so fucking fluent normally pissed him off when he had to try and think through any major emotional shift, he had the basics down but not any of the nuances Marius could just pick up on as if it were _normal_ but today much as he’d never admit it, he was grateful. He was angry as fuck about it of course but he was grateful Marius and even Ashes had a better understanding of Lily and could actually help steer him away from fucking up spectacularly.

So far.

He should know this he was sure. But didn’t. Well, he was getting a crash course in child-reading right now. And hoping to whatever God was listening that he didn’t fail. He could pick her up when she was scared and murder the living fuck out of anything that upset her. That would have to do as a start.

Jonny headed out into the corridor to access the nearest comms panel, “Listen up fuckers, there’s edible dinner about to be on the table in the mess, come and eat it.”

Surprisingly everyone did in fact turn up.

Several large plates of ‘junket’ omelettes were laid out on the table, along with the last bits of loaf Brian had toasted. Lily carried the last plate to the table looking very proud of herself, bean juice smeared across an eyebrow and something purple smudged around her mouth. Communal meals weren’t all that uncommon on Aurora, even though the mechanisms didn’t need to eat to actually survive it was usually more of an excuse to see each other and organise the next story cycle to commit to music.

The rest of the crew were pleasantly surprised to discover Jonny hadn’t lied, the food was actually edible, they sat down already starting to tuck in.

“I think we should say thank you to chef,”

“Yeah, thanks Lily,” started Jonny taking a cue, looking pointed at the others.

“Marius and Brian did proper frying and chopping. I wasn’t allowed to use the knife.”

“Why not?”

“Because she’s a kid!” Came the indignant Baron.

Lily huffed, indignant, “I’m eight! I’m a big girl! I cook at home too…” Her face started to crumple.

“Well,” Jonny scrabbled desperately for something appropriate to say Ashes and Marius’ words ringing annoyingly loudly in his ears, “I’m sure you can show us how good you are with a knife next time then. This is really good.”

She immediately perked back up, keen for both the distraction and the praise.

The others quickly piled on the compliments, each terrified of what a crying child would be like to deal with and tried to avert as hard as they could. Lily beamed, putting the last plate on the table before making a beeline for Jonny climbing up on to his lap, settling down to eat as if it was something she’d done hundreds of times before.

It was extremely entertaining to watch Jonny go through all five stages of grief in roughly three quarters of a second and come out the otherside. He ended up allowing a small smile to escape once he realised she was actually currently okay hoping the others didn’t catch it.

They did.

Dinner actually went pretty well, all things considered, there was an unspoken rule about limiting the amount of murder to whenever Lily wasn’t present and the food was in fact, edible, even quite tasty.

Half way thorough Lily asked if there was anything to drink.

“Should be something open in the fridge.”

Marius was closest to the kitchen, he opened the fridge door to inspect the contents, sure enough there was an open carton of milk. Milk was good for children right? He thought back to his time when he actually was studying to be a doctor, most of it was hazy but the few lectures he could recall on paediatrics definitely mentioned stuff about minerals for growing bones. He grabbed an unopened bottle of whiskey for the others and some glasses since they had company and probably should pretend to be at least partly civilised.

He placed all the offerings down, carton and glass for Lilly, the rest could sort themselves out.

“Thank you!”

Lily took the carton and began to pour then paused once she noticed the colour, “That’s not milk!” Lily brought it up to her nose, “urgh!”

It most certainly was not.

Jonny took the half-filled glass of amber liquid from Lily and gave it a cursory sniff, his face darkened, “this is that century aged malt we found back on Shallacatop before it disappeared. Which one of you bastards hid this?! I didn’t think there was any left!”

“There wasn’t!”

“Well there’s clearly some here.”

He knocked back the glass in one gulp. “It is _definitely_ that malt.”

“Is a nice one?”

“Yes Lily, one of the best whiskey’s we’ve ever had.”

“But it smells horrible!”

“That’s because whiskey is an acquired taste.”

“One you only acquire when you’re a grown up.” Commented Brian pointedly.

“If there is some left, pass it here.” Ashe’s made a ‘give me it’ gesture.

“Get your own!”

“You know that’s the last bit!”

“There might be more stashed about the place.”

“You should share Jonny, it’s only being nice.” Piped up a certain little voice.

He was about to say that he was not a nice man by any stretch of the word but her big blue eyes were looking up expectantly at him. This was something he was going to have to get used to. The squirmy feeling in his guts was bad and he found he didn’t want to disappoint her.

He sighed internally, working out how many different ways he could kill his crewmates when she wasn’t looking.

“That’s true, sharing is caring.” Added Tim with a remarkably earnest face. Jonny could see the laughter behind his eyes though. Bastard. Jonny glared daggers at him since he was having far too much fun at his expense. Jonny was absolutely going to sabotage one of his guns.

He put on his best, I am going to MURDER you later grins, “that it is. Here”. And passed the whiskey milk carton across the table.

“Jonny?”

“Yes?”

“I’m still thirsty.”

“Right, yes. Er—”

“Do we have anything safe for a kid to drink?”

“My name is Lily!”

“I’m sorry,” corrected Marius, “do we have something for Lily to drink?”

“The water we have is safe, goes through a purification system.” Ashes explained, “That is up to function isn’t it?”

“Of course it is.” huffed Nastya, “not all of us drink whiskey like it’s going out of fashion.”

“I don’t know what you mean.” Nastya glared at him. Jonny grinned before focusing back to Lily, “Water work for you?”

“Yes please.” Her manners continued to throw him, she’d been through all of that on the ship and could still say please and thank you. He really hoped he didn’t fuck this kid up.

“Right then, want to come with?”

In answering she hopped off his lap, allowing him to get up before taking his hand heading to the kitchen.

Jonny took a second to let his brain reboot, the trust that that action spoke of was mind boggling. He mentally shook himself and got a goddamn grip.

He managed to school his face back into nonchalance by the time they returned to the table, full glass and fuller jug balanced between them. The others barely held their composure at seeing him leading a little girl by the hand and back again, letting her sit back on his lap as if this was normal.

Tim decided that he was either going to dissolve in laughter and risk murder or have to throw something out to cover the hilarious game of risk they were clearly playing of how long it would take Jonny to crack. On a usual day that was a great game in and of itself but now there was a mortal in the mix it was probably a bad idea.

“Whilst we’re all here, I’ve been thinking of some melodies to put to that story we got from the Beltane nebula.”

“What was that one again?”

“The verdant shield one.” Answered Ivy immediately.

“He was just a Green Man with a noble thief complex!”

“The noble 23 were 23 terrified people who got little-pigged.”

“Alright, point.”

“Was that the one that wrecked up an entire system of government with like 6 people?”

“That’s the one.”

“Didn’t they use a bunch of strung weapons too?”

“Yeah.”

“Imagine if they’d had guns.”

“We don’t need to Tim, you’re going to tell us in excruciating detail.”

“Piss off Raph.”

“That’s quite the achievement.” Cut in Brian, trying to avoid a brawl, “Reckon there’s a full story to be told there.”

“Maybe,” mused Tim, getting back on track, “there was a bunch of other stuff too but I was thinking about how we start it,” Tim started humming, the others picked it quickly tapping and humming along, getting into the rhythm of it, dissolving into discussion and plans. 

Dinner quickly morphed into a musical workshopping of new tunes, Lily clapping along to the new melodies long into the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you so much for reading, I'll hopefully have chapter 4 out soon!
> 
> (My vicarious living through these guys in light my COVID 19 isolation is keeping me sane right now!)
> 
> Please let me know what you think!


	4. Gunfire and explosions and...cuddles?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily tries to sleep, Tim and Marius have a disagreement and everyone discovers why shooting your problems can be a very bad move...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter! Hurrah! This is a bit more of an introduction for Lily to the rest of the crew and a reflection that she's been through quite a bit in a very short amount of time. Also, this is shamelessly self-indulgent to help me cope with my touch-starved isolation!

Eventually the music wound down, it had been a satisfying session, they’ve worked out the parts for at least five sections of the story they were going to tell which was pretty impressive progress for them. It helped they couldn’t murder each other when they disagreed about melodies this time.

They’d all been so into what they were doing they’d not noticed when Lily’s claps grew slower and quieter until they stopped altogether. And stayed stopped.

Ashes noticed first.

“Hey Jonny, kid’s asleep.”

“Oh.” He looked down to find Lily was still clinging to him in a death grip.

“Um,” This was new, what was he supposed to—

“You should probably put her to bed.” Prompted Brian

“Where?”

“Your room? She is attached to you.”

Jonny spluttered with a “Fuck No!” Just as the rest added various versions of; 

“Abso-fucking-lutely not!”

“Do you want her to die?!”

“What is wrong with you?”

Which is why Jonny ended up in one of the spare bunks, used more for storage than sleeping. He tried to pry her off him gently but she was white knuckling him in her sleep. Every time he tried she whimpered. It turned out Jonny did not like that sound one bit.

So he found himself settling down on the bunk, back braced against the wall resigned himself to being a mattress for an 8 year old mortal child. As he pulled an old blanket over her like it was a normal every day thing he did he paused, wondering at his hands seemingly doing things of their own volition. It was certainly one of the _odder_ days of recent years. But interesting. So that had to be worth it. Thing was though, he couldn’t find it in him to complain with any real fire (well actually, he _could_ and _would_ because that was just how he was but it wasn’t about Lily and her choice in pillows) there was something in him that was, if not soothed, settled a little by having someone trust him like this.

Blasters not withstanding she was completely vulnerable. He could kill her with one hand and half a thought if he wanted to but he had absolutely no desire to do so, the very thought turned his guts to ice with horror. No. She for whatever reason trusted him, _needed_ him. He couldn’t understand why even with the other’s input. It wasn’t something he was used to on any level but he wasn’t going to question it further. It was an odd feeling that he couldn’t name but it was satisfying and found himself swearing that he’d do the best he could by her. If she wanted his protection then she had it willingly.

He’d just closed his eyes, lulled into actually resting for once by the child’s even breathing and solid presence when several loud explosions boomed out from down the corridor. Normally Jonny would either have ignored it since that was Tim’s way of saying hello some days or go charging into the fray to tell everyone to shut the fuck up just for something to do.

This was going to be a ‘ah fuck it’ ignore response until his left ear drum nearly shattered as something detonated up the octaves just below his chin. There was a mad scramble of blanket before his drowsy brain kicked in enough to register Lily, screaming blue murder and looking terrified whilst tiny hands closed on a piece of discarded piping that had been left up against the bed. She launched herself off him, away from the blanket and the bed apparently determined to challenge whatever was on the other side of the door. With a rapidity he didn’t know he had Jonny was off the bed, one arm catching up Lily on to his hip other hand having drawn his pistol charging out and into the fray.

***

Tim was chasing Marius, both shooting at each other whilst the others laughed and cheered.The only one missing was the Toy Soldier, probably off doing something tooth-related.

Jonny buried four rounds in the ceiling.

“WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCKING FUCK IS GOING ON?!”

The silence was deafening.

Several faces turned to tell him exactly what was happening but as a collective they all picked up on the same sound.

Lily was sobbing her heart out choking out the words “bad ones, bad ones are coming.”

Jonny looked more livid that any of them had seen him years.

“There’s no bad ones here Lily, just idiots.”

With that he shot Marius for being said idiot and Tim for being the idiot that started it. He would have shot the rest but it was really hard to reload with one hand.

Lily stopped sobbing for a moment, drinking in the scene before unleashing a banshee wail of epic decibel proportions. Jonny nearly dropped her in shock.

“What? What's the matter?”

  
“Now who's the fucking idiot?”

  
“But I, she shot me and it was fine!” 

  
Nastya looked thoroughly exasperated, “Jonny, she's still going to be sensitive to all this, you saw the state of her ship. Seeing people die is probably not helpful. That is why we have been avoiding murdering each other all _fucking_ night!”

  
“I calculate there's an 87% chance that she will calm down if shown we are in fact all alive.” Ivy took refuge in the facts to hand, the sound Lily was making was horrible, a terrible _aching_ wail that made the archivist’s chest hurt.

  
Jonny tightened his grip, bringing both arms around the still screaming child, trying to cradle her, "Lily, Lily!” He began to panic, thinking he’d broken her, mortals were pretty fragile after all. His voice raised in desperation, “Look at me. Look at me.” She was far too caught up in her hysterics to hear him.

Jonny threw a helpless plea out at the others, who were looking decidedly unimpressed. He made a move to try and give her to Nastya thinking it was now the close proximity to him. He’d done the killing after all.

Lily screamed harder and clung more desperately to him.

“I don’t know what to do help—” He admitted, half to her and half to the rest of the crew.

“For fuck’s sake Jonny you need to calm her down, gently. Passing her off isn’t going to help. It’s you she wants.” Snapped Ashes. 

“Fuck knows why.” Muttered Tim from the floor.

“She’s eight, she hasn’t grown taste yet.” Explained a healing Marius. Jonny was too honest-to-God panicked to send him the venomous look he would usually throw out. 

“Just comfort her, you're meant to be a singer, _sing_ something!”

Jonny felt what could have been shame along with the rage if he was an emotionally literate sentient being but, as he was decidedly unread it just burned in his chest and he wanted it to go away very fast by any means other than shooting because that most certainly did not work.

With a glare at his crewmates he began to try Brian’s suggestion.

Jonny took a deep stabilising breath, before letting instincts that seemed to claw their way out from some previously hidden recess of his being have free reign. Carefully he raised one hand to cup her head, gently guiding her head to rest against his shoulder as he began to sway, the first lyrics of Rose Red flowing softly from his lips. Whether it was the tone, the motion, the comforting hold on her or all three Lily started to quiet, by the time he reached the first ‘open fire’ in the same lilting tone the others had joined in and Lily had stopped crying.

With a gentleness he didn't know he possessed he caught Lily under her chin and brought her desolate face to his, “Lily, it's alright,” he reassured, “it’s alright, they're fine. I promise they're fine, I'm sorry I scared you but we come back remember?” 

“Come back?” she sniffed.

“Yes. All of us, I promise. Look.”

Tim and Marius had long since recovered looking both awkward and weirdly touched that their deaths had such an impact on her.

“Tim? Mar-us? She hiccupped.

“Yes, we’re both fine, this happens all the time.”

“Don’t like it.”

“We noticed.”

“Really okay?”

“Yes se—” Tim opened his arms with the intention of showing her his intact chest. Lily took it as an invite to inspect further and reached for him.

Tim went from working out how many ways he could mock Jonny about this whole episode to suddenly having his arms full of small child who was patting him down carefully, eyes burrowing into his, determined to make sure he wasn’t somehow about to keel over.

From her vantage point staring up at him, satisfied that he was in fact, alive, broke into a sunny grin once more. “You’ve got pretty eyes.” She announced.

Tim felt something short circuit somewhere.

Before he could process she turned to Marius who was rather more prepared.

“Want to check?”

She nodded solemnly.

“C’mon then.”

Marius reached out and took her carefully from a still-reeling Tim.

After a similar pat down she cuddled against him for a moment too, pressing her damp cheek to the side of this neck. Marius went from What?! To ridiculously pleased in roughly half a second.

After that she reached for the next nearest mechanism. Ashes tried to back away but the kid’s puppy dog eyes could melt stone and Jonny was glaring at them in ‘you’d better.’

And thus Ashes O’Reilly ended up with a kid in their arms who was staring at their hair in utter fascination. “Your hair’s so red, it’s beautiful.”

“Thanks Kid.”

“Does it grow like that?”

“No.”

“Oh.”

“I can show you next time I dye it.”

“Yes please.”

She cuddled against Ashes for good measure before looking for her next target.

Brian had no idea of how to hold a child, he thought he might have, long ago before he was brass and sharp angles. He was going to hurt her accidentally for sure and the kid had been through enough. He decided to be pre-emptive, “No, you don’t want to hug me. I’m not comfortable.”

Lily squared her small shoulders, sitting up from where she’d been leaning against Ashes’ chest. “I do.” She said with all the certainty she possessed, “You’re all shiny.”

“Yes I suppose so, but that means not comfortable, metal is very hard and—”

“Your face is soft.”

That. Oh. Brian looked devastated for a moment before plucking her gently from Ashes.

Lily grinned up at him, whilst Brian tried to hold whatever he had left of his composure together, she wrapped her arms around his neck, holding herself close to him before leaning back and pressing a kiss to his cold cheek. “I knew it.”

Brian was suddenly very grateful he didn’t have tear-ducts.

Raphaella took pity on the pilot and lifted her out of his arms before he completely disintegrated. She held Lily confidently in one arm whilst brushing a thumb over the child’s face, wiping away the last of the tears. “Better?”

Lily nodded before wrapping her arms around the science officer properly. Raphaella decided to cave into an unfamiliar sense of affection and wrapped her wings about herself and little girl. Lily cooed from inside the wing cocoon. “That’s so cool! Your wings are so awesome”

“Thank you, I am rather proud of them.”

“Can you fly?”

“Yes, I can show you tomorrow.”

“Yes please! That would be amazing!”

Raphaella opened her wings once more, both of them catching the small smile on Ivy’s face, clearly amused by the science officer’s rare playful display. Raphaella knew exactly what to do, “Here, your turn.”

"What, no, I don’t--" her protests were futile and her arms were full of curious, slightly snotty child.

"Hello."

"Hello."

  
"What does an archivist do?"

"What?"

"Jonny said you were an archivist but I don’t know what that means."

"It means I record things and file them."

"Like in a library?" Lily’s eyes were going wide with growing joy.

Ivy felt her face soften without her permission.

"Yes, exactly like in a library."

"Do you have one here?"

"Yes, I built it."

"That’s so cool!"

"I take it you can read then?"

"Yes! I love stories and there’s lots I’ve not read yet."

"Well, I’m sure I can show you later."

Lily whooped in excitement and plastered herself to Ivy. Who looked an impressive mix of confused but pleased.

"Good,” came a resigned sigh, “just what we need, another book worm."

"Shut up Jonny, just because she already has a reading age higher than yours."

"Hey, I was in school till I was 12!"

"That proves literally nothing."

He flipped her off.

"Are you brother and sister?"

Both Nastya and Jonny swung around to face her, incredulity etched on both faces.

"What?" 

  
  


"No!"

  
  


"Yeah pretty much." Admitted Ashes.

"We're just one big messed up trauma family." Added Tim with a mirthless grin

"No, Lily, we’re not related." Clarified Jonny.

"Oh."

"Why?" Nastya was curious, they looked nothing alike after all, didn’t even have the same accents. 

"You sound like it. With what you say to each other"

“I see.” Nastya was not about to admit in front of the others that she did, in fact, consider Jonny a brother, an irritating, infuriating sibling that she had to endure the escapades of and would miss like a limb if he was truly gone.

“Can I hug you?” Nastya was a bit intimidating, she seemed cold and sad. Lily had been cold and sad. And scared and miserable and lost and, and— She swallowed hard. No. She’d already cried in front of them all. It was silly, she knew they couldn’t die. Jonny had shown her that when he came on board. And he said it was the same for everyone else and he wouldn’t lie. So she was being silly. She _had_ been silly in front of them all. Her lip wobbled as she felt the embarrassment wash over her but bit it to distract herself.

Both Jonny and Nastya read that as her getting upset over rejection.

Jonny elbowed the engineer, “do _not_ make her cry.” His hissed.

“Why, I’d only be matching you.” She snarked back.

“Fucking—”

“It’s okay if you don’t.” added Lily, not wanting to make Nastya uncomfortable. She’d been made to hug people she didn’t want to and it made her feel icky. “Really.” She smiled as winningly as she could, trying to prove she could be sensible and a big girl.

Nastya sighed. "Come here little one."

The engineer plucked Lily delicately from Ivy, "You must ignore the nonsense that comes out of Jonny, and more importantly,” she eyed the child shrewdly, “do not fear me."

Lily felt the relief of a thousand questions pour into her mouth but swallowed them all. Nastya held her with a gossamer grace, laced with steel but the slightest wrong move could snap it. She felt brittle. Lily decidedly to show not tell, how grateful she was at how kind they all were being. Nastya felt like she needed the hug as much as Lily did. So she carefully wrapped her arms about the engineer and held on with all her might, trying to pour as much warmth as she could into the hug. “Thank you.”

  
  


She felt the slightest squeeze in return. 

“You’re welcome. Here Jonny, one for you.”

Nastya passed Lily back to Jonny who took her easily, settling her expertly against him if she’d always had a place on his hip, secretly relieved she seemed just as keen as usual to get back to him. He hadn’t broken her yet. He would have to be more careful.

She wrapped her arms around him, burying her face in his neck a moment, breathing in the scent of cigarette smoke, whiskey and some sort of spice. _Safe._

“I’m sorry.” She whispered.

“What for?” It was an honest question.

“Getting’ upset. I didn’t mean to.” They might not let her stay if they thought she was just scared and small and cried lots.

He squeezed her gently, chuckling softly, “Don’t worry about that,” he pulled back to look her square in the eye, “I’m sorry for scaring you.” He deliberately ignored the astounded stares of his crewmates at his apology.

She searched his face, he wasn’t annoyed or cross or sounded like he was just saying it because he feels like he has to. He sounded real. And relieved.

She kissed his cheek and settled against him feeling a little safer still.

The whole interaction couldn’t have taken more than three minutes but it feels like it’s been a least a decade.

"Well I need a drink or 10." Announced Tim, cutting through the moment that had settled over everything. He was honestly glad they’d calmed her down, hearing a child cry was never a good sound but hearing her sound so devastated _for_ them? It was strange, it made him feel things he’d not thought about for a long time. He had no idea what to do about it either. Plus, seeing Jonny be actually kind and gentle was weirding him out more than he thought possible. 

"Me too." Seconded Ashes, keen for whatever this episode was to be done with. Emotions were hard. And Ashes did not like the memories Lily’s misery were bringing to the near surface. Alcohol would be a fix, until they could burn something properly.

"Whiskey all round I think. And a water." Brian was interested to see how this all played out, he was cautiously optimistic this whole situation, there could be some very positive outcomes if they were careful, he’d had a portentous flash of a young woman, rainbow-coloured hair and a wild, joyful glee on her face. It would depend on a lot. But there had been a sense of something secure and right. He found himself hoping that might come to pass. They would have to see.

"Do want to go back to bed?" Asked Raphaella.

Lily shook her head, no way near ready to be on her own, “Could, could I have a story? Please?” She half asked Jonny, half asked the rest of the room.

"A story?"

"Sure, we do stories well." Smiled Marius

  
"I’m sure we can think of a bedtime one." Grinned Jonny.

“Something _suitable.”_ Stressed Brian.

“What ones do we even have that are?” Tim paused wracking his brain.

“We could always—” Began Marius then stopped, the 6 different anecdotes he could tell in lieu of a story that popped into his brain were all decidedly not for young ears.

“They are a few that can be modified if we need to.” Pointed out Ivy. 

“There’s one were there’s at least a decent resolution,” Ashes was already thinking about the section they never bothered to sing about at the end of one of their tales, that would do.

"I want to stay with you all. Please." Lily added, to just make sure they knew what she was asking, being on her own or even just with Jonny wasn’t going to be enough. She wanted, needed to know they were all alright, all safe and here and not leaving. 

"Um, if we’re doing storytime the mess wasn’t all that comfortable." Marius could already feel his back ache in sympathy if he was going to have to brace up against the table.

"There’s the rec room,"

"The where?" asked Raphaella, her actual geography of Aurora wasn’t brilliant, she spent most of her time in her lab after all.

"The rec room,” repeated Ashes, “off the mess."

"I forgot that was a thing." Admitted Tim

"Is that the room with the sofas?" checked Ivy, like Raphaella, she kept mainly to the spaces she knew, namely the mess, her library and occasionally her room.

"And throws." Nodded Ashes, they were quartermaster after all, they knew these things.

"Well then, looks like we’re heading there." Jonny took the lead, beginning to sing as he went, "Like whiskey laced with gasoline…"

The rest of the mechs joined in, bemused, amused and honestly just a bit curious to see how this all played out. She was obviously a sweet kid, lost and needing some comfort and it was quite frankly hilarious the impact she was having on Jonny.

But, if they each thought about it, they couldn’t deny the warmth they’d felt when she’d hugged them, the trust she’d placed in them all. It had been an interesting day, that was for sure. And really, what was another storytelling session between crewmates.

There were tales to be told after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading this, please let me know what you think!
> 
> Comments give me life and make things a little more bearable in this era of quarantine!
> 
> Take care of each other and stay home if you can :)
> 
> EDIT: The very wonderful Claryghost on Tumblr has done some INCREDIBLE artwork for the Mechs Cuddles that happen in this chapter and can been seen here; 
> 
> https://muddyhippy.tumblr.com/post/614298153502588928/oh-my-god-claryghost-these-are-so-utterly-and


	5. Stories, stupid ideas and a proper discussion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The crew attempt to calm and console a very fragile Lily. Things do not go entirely according to plan. This isn't necessarily a bad thing...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Sorry for the longer wait on this chapter, it's a bit of a beast but I blame the Mechs, they just would. not. stop. TALKING. Plus, they do manage to prove they can be actual adults once in a while with semi-functioning emotional responses so that is a novelty in and of itself.

The crew traipsed into the oft-forgotten rec room, piling cushions and throws haphazardly, all settling in a lounging sprawl. Entertainment was basically currency when you’re immortal and Lily was providing plenty of that, her appearance had certainly made for shaking up the usual run of things and it was oddly pleasant to not be concerned about getting blood over everything for a few hours. Plus, she was keeping Jonny on his toes which was hilarious to watch.

They’d picked up the Toy Soldier along the way much to Lily’s delight. Jonny had a very firm, threatening word in its ear about being gentle with Lily before allowing her to give her now apparently customary crew hug to the wooden man. The Toy Soldier seemed actually glow with excitement. “That Was Very Nice! Thank You! I Like To Be Included!”

Jonny sighed in defeat as Lily pressed a kiss to a solid cheek before reaching back for the first mate. This clearly meant he was not going to be able to get away with throwing it out the nearest airlock any time soon.

Lily listened enraptured as they told and sang her the story of Old King Cole, Snow, Rose and Cinders, she gasped and grinned and joined in whenever she picked up the chorus quickly enough delighting that Jonny and Nastya had rescued the Briar Rose.

“Did all the Rose Reds run away from you?”

“The ones that could did.” Jonny gave a feral grin at the memory, he distinctly remembered shooting quite a lot of them in the legs as well as their faces.

She nodded, accepting the gun-toting murder as reasonable recompense for their kidnapping and experimentation of Cinders wife-to-be. “That was very horrible of them to keep Rose away from Cinders after all. And on their wedding day too. “

“It was.”

“Did they see each other again?”

“We’ll see.” They carried on with the story. 

Once they got to part where Rose and Snow had been murdered Lily was looking scandalised but whooped and actually punched the air when Cinders punched through Cole’s chest. “Yeah! Take that monster!”

Brian had a moment of realisation that he would have to share with the others later.

“But why didn’t she kill him sooner?” Lily looked sad as she realised what that meant, “Now Rose is dead and Cinders is all alone.”

“Didn’t you forget someone?”

Lily turned to face Ivy looking puzzled, then her brow cleared, “Briar Rose!”

“The one and the same.”

“Yeah, we brought her to the planet, she and Cinders got their happy ending together. Eventually.”

Lily actually cheered. “You did it!” thrilled that the crew themselves had brought about a good finish for the story. The ones who’d been there shared a pleased smile, none of them were used to being seen as the ‘heroes’ of a story. It was a surprisingly nice feeling.

“Nearly ended up keeping her though.”

“Jonny wanted to keep her.” Corrected Ashes.

His face began to flush involuntarily, “I—”

“There is no point in lying Jonny, you did, and you tried your best to persuade her.”

Jonny huffed, if he was honest he was still a little disappointed she hadn’t stayed, “She was entertaining and interesting, had a hell of right hook.”

“A right hook?” Lily frowned, wondering how she must have fought with it.

“He means she fought well.”

Yeah she did,” he grinned at the memory, “killed me twice before we even got to the ship.” He added as if she’d complimented his marksmanship or vocal skills instead of actually murdering him.

Marius’ eyebrows went into his hairline. “That,” he paused trying to find the words, “that explains a lot about you.”

“What about me?” Jonny looked genuinely confused, surely it was an obvious thing she would have made a good addition to the crew.

“I—” Marius considered attempting to explain that Jonny clearly enjoyed the company of people that not only could but would and did actually kill him on a regular basis which was most decidedly not a healthy outlook but then again, who was he kidding? This was just how the crew worked. If Jonny had got himself a crush on a genetically engineered super soldier that had actively murdered him several times well, there were weirder things in life. It was funny, he’d learned more about Jonny in the past 8 hours than he had in the previous 80 years, he apparently got crushes on grown, murderous human-bio weapons, was not horrendous with children, actually did care, could be gentle and was very protective of those he deemed under said care. Huh. Well that was something to add to his notes that he kept on everyone. For now he decided to abort that trail of thought and pull back to normality.

He switched tack quickly “It explains that you’re always impressed by new people who kill you immediately.” Marius winked at Lily who beamed at him.

Jonny laughed a genuine, amused laugh, “that’s true,” he grinned at Lily, “you’re full of fighting spirit aren’t you? Setting traps and shooting invaders.”

Lily sat up straight and puffed out her chest, “It was my ship. I wasn’t just going to let anyone have it.”

“Too true,” he glanced around at others before catching the master-at-arms’ eye, “still true now, you know this little murder gremlin was coming for you Tim this time when you woke her up. She grabbed a pipe and everything! All ready to bludgeon you. Kinda sorry I got involved, that would have been hilarious.”

Tim flipped off Jonny and instead focused on Lily, “A pipe?” He smiled encouragingly, “What was the plan?” intrigued and impressed at the battle instincts she apparently had. He was rather keen to see how well she’d take to target practice with a weapon that wasn’t too big for her.

Lily suddenly looked shy with all the eyes on her, feeling a bit silly now she knew that they weren’t actually being attacked. It had just felt right at the time. She didn’t want the same thing to happen to Jonny. “Stop the bad ones.” She mumbled quietly, turning to Jonny staring directly into his eyes with all the sincerity she had, she couldn’t lose anyone else, “Didn’t want them to hurt you.”

That was simultaneously the sweetest and most stupid thing he’d ever heard.

He was about to say something along those lines before Nastya, knowing Jonny far too well to guess that he was about say something impressively tactless coughed sharply cutting him off, “That was very brave of you Lily, you didn’t know what you’d be up against.”

Lily drew herself up, sitting up straight on Jonny’s lap “I had to fight, had to protect,” she began to waiver, voice trailing off, remembering, “I didn’t before and they, they...”

She began to cry again softly this time with an aching sadness.

If looks could kill Nastya would be a pile of dust. Jonny wrapped his arms around the weeping child and pulled her close.

Nastya didn’t care what Jonny thought about this, he had the emotional range of a sledgehammer most days, it was important Lily say it out loud to be disabused of the notion she was clearly carrying.

“Why didn’t you before?”

“Because Mummy and Daddy locked me away!” she managed through tears.

“Why?”

“To keep me safe from the bad ones they said! I wanted to help! I’m a big girl and if I helped they wouldn’t have been got and—”

Nastya cut over her, “How long were you locked in for?”

Lily’s voice dropped, “They put me in the vents. I couldn’t get out! I tried but there was explosions an’ shooting and screaming for ages and then it all got quiet. I stayed quiet and didn’t fight and they took everything and left and everyone, and everyone had gone and left me behind, it took ages to find a way out and, and I, I didn’t help!”

The child broke into full on wailing at this point clinging to Jonny, pressing her face into his chest and sobbed her little heart out as he rocked her.

“Happy now?” he growled. He really thought they’d got past upsetting her at the turn of a phrase.

Nastya was unbothered, she was used to Jonny in all his varying forms of annoyed, it didn’t detract from what she was doing, “Yes actually, because when she calms down we can explain in detail that what happened wasn’t her fault.”

“She—oh.” Guilt wasn’t something Jonny had a lot of experience with, “Right. But that’s—”

“She’s eight Jonny.” Added Ashes, “Kids come up with all sorts of stupid shit. And in the six hours we’ve known her she seems like a decent one so of course she thinks it’s her fault.”

“And she has been on her own, surviving in the remnants of a massacre for three weeks. Survivor’s guilt.” Continued Ivy.

“And that ship, it, it wasn’t pleasant. Not for anyone, especially not a kid.” Tim’s face had serious cast to it, his voice hollowed to the tone that only appeared when he thought of the lunar tunnels.

“I’m pretty sure I once heard someone say ‘what four year old wouldn’t tear the universe apart to save their mummy?’ In this case we’ve got an eight year old who had both parents die probably not all that far away from her whilst she could do nothing to stop it.” Mused Marius, looking at the child with uncomfortable empathy.

“Fuck.” Came the heartfelt conclusion by all present.

“Yep.”

“So what do we do about it?”

“I have no idea, we are not paragons of dealing with things well here. And this ain’t shit you can burn away.”

“Quite simply we reassure her it is not her fault, as often and as clearly as she needs it.” Stated Nastya as if this was, in fact, a simple problem to solve.

“That doesn’t fucking work.” Snapped Tim, eyeing the child with a painful sympathy.

“Just because you’re still hung up on—”

“Don’t you dare!” Snarled the master-at-arms showing far too many teeth.

Jonny huffed, unmoved, “Fine, but that wasn’t your fault either, he was an idiot. I was there. And he was fucking stupid to have—”

Tim drew his gun.

Jonny’s face darkened, tone dropping to a level of authority he rarely used, his I-am-not-even-remotely-fucking-around voice that had only been employed on a handful of occasions. All had been memorable. “No. Not when I have Lily. Put that away right _fucking_ now.”

Tim seemed to come back to himself, realising what he was doing. He looked horrified for a moment, “fuck”, he breathed before narrowing his glare at Jonny. “Later.”

Jonny gave him a nasty smirk, “Later, when I do not have a mortal child in my arms you bastard.”

“I said I was sorry,”

“Actually—”

“Guys. Not helping. We need to figure something out, and quick.” Pointed out Brian, aware that this was a conversation the child should not overhear.

Lily was still sobbing into Jonny’s chest, ears full of her own guilty misery. He held her close, one hand stroking through her messy locks, the other gently rubbing circles into her tiny back, seemingly unaware he was still gently rocking her as he argued with Tim.

“We need to find her people.”

“Ah.” Ivy looked awkward. 

“What does that mean?” Tim turned his attention to Ivy, determined to ignore Jonny and the unpleasant sense of guilt that had pooled in his belly. Bertie was _his_ fault, no matter what fucking _Jonny_ said. He resisted the urge to shoot the first mate again, concentrated on the image of a tiny sobbing bundle of child currently attached to him and forced himself to fold his arms and keep his murderous rage in check. He might be a lot of things but he was no child slayer.

“She doesn’t have any.”

Brian sighed in understanding, “All on the ship?”

The archivist nodded.

“Okay, what about a planet?”

“No, according the log they were refugees from a dead world looking for a new home. Lily was born in transit. Everyone who could possibly be looking for her was on that ship.”

“Fuuuuck.”

“Yeah.”

“What about—”

“If you say orphanage I will set you on fire right here, right now.”

“Get some rich fuckers to have her?” came the swiftly changed question.

“Like we can convince anyone legit, and sane and _decent_ and if we try anything else dumping a kid on someone at gunpoint is not going to go well for that kid afterwards.”

“So we keep her then.” Jonny’s voice cut through the discussion. 

The others turned as one to face Jonny who was failing utterly to look nonchalant. They didn’t miss how carefully he held her, nor how hard she was clinging to him.

“Jonny—” Brian began softly.

The first mate was having none of it, “Look, I know we are the last possible fuckers in this galaxy who should be charged with the survival of fungus let alone an actual sentient mortal but what else are we going to do?” He glared around the room taking in all his crewmates, “Can’t dump her, can’t leave her, can’t convince anyone else _remotely_ capable and she’s already messed up from her ship. So we try not to fuck her up more? How much worse can we be?”

There were several immediate responses;

“Jonny, have you met us?”

“Taken a look in the fucking mirror recently?”

“With absolutely no due respect whatsoever, what the fuck?”

“A lot worse. Very worse.”

“Just because you—”

“Because I what?” He growled, challenge clear on his face.

“Because you’re the one she’s clinging to—” bit back Tim, fury clear across his face.

The first mate scoffed, “I think you might have noticed the point where she did the rounds of all you bastards. She fucking hugged everyone, even the Toy Soldier, shut up,” Jonny sent a venomous look at the wooden man who’d perked up at the sound its name. It saluted and stayed quiet, “she likes all of us.” He continued surveying the group, “Fuck knows why.”

“Because we rescued her, because we have shown in a short time that we care about her, got her clean, clothed and fed. What survivor wouldn’t latch on that? Especially a young one.” Commented Nastya evenly. 

“But that’s just survival instincts when you’re small and helpless, you ally yourself with the most dangerous things in the hope that they’ll protect you and let you live. It’s why any kid from a planet with evolution goes through a terrible lizard, monstrous jellyfish or rogue hamster phase.” Argued Marius.

“We’re not fucking jellyfish.”

“No, I think he means—,”

“I know what he fucking means, and it not just that. You’ve seen her face, you’ve all fucking _held_ her. Did that look like a display of a kid that was just somehow _submitting,”_ he repressed a shudder at the word, “to us to out of fear? Did it?”

The others considered, flicking looks to each other before agreeing, Lily did in fact just seem to like them, as they were. Felt comfortable enough to _cuddle_ with each and every one of them which was too weird on its own to even start thinking about.

“She likes the fact that we ‘come back’ we’re just insurance against loneliness.”

“No, we’re possibly the one guarantee of consistency this kid’s got.”

“That is not a good basis.”

“She trusts us.”

“Why?”

“Because like Nastya says, we’ve been kind to her, from the moment she shot Jonny, everything she’s seen us do has been positive for her, Jonny picked her up, I helped her get clean, we all introduced ourselves, Marius and Brian cooked with her, she’s cuddled with all of us and not one of us have rejected her. None of us have told her to leave us alone and we have all been concerned when she has been upset. Were any of us, at her age, in this position I warrant we would all make the same choices and choose to trust.”

“What Raph said.” Supplemented Jonny eloquently, it annoyed him he didn’t have the communication skills of his crewmates, he wanted to say that just once, maybe things didn’t have to be made up of black and bitter cold, maybe things didn’t _have_ to be grim as pistol lead. Somewhere, deep in the core of him he remembered fear, not the bright screaming visceral terror of Carmilla and all she brought but the mundane, all-encompassing fear of a being a child in the world surrounded by indifference and resentful, bare-tolerance at best. That was a cold that cut deep. If nothing else, he and the crew, they never did things by halves. Drinking, fighting, singing, they always were invested to their fullest potential. And they always burned bright against the darkest of space. They could spare her that at least, the mundanity of just existence.

“Fine but she has no clue of what we are like, really, day to day. The lives we lead are not conducive for mortal lifespans.” It wasn’t that Marius didn’t like the kid, he _did_ , and that was the problem. She was a nice kid that had had a really bad time of things and staying with them all was asking to dump more issues on her. She hadn’t even got anywhere near finishing developing her mental processes yet, they would most likely really mess her up. He was well aware of most of the issues of the crew, he might not be a Doctor officially but he’d paid enough attention over the years before being kicked out of academia to know that they were not in any fit state to look after a child well. A child who clearly needed stability and love and support.

“So we don’t take her into a firefight. Easy.”

Marius sighed, it was not fucking _easy_ , “Tim nearly shot you both because you pissed him off.”

“Hey!” The master at arms had the good grace to look a little contrite.

“It’s true, we shoot first here.”

“Hmm… I think Jonny has a point.”

“What?” multiple voices rang with incredulity.

“See!”

“Shut up Jonny.”

“Fu—”

“There is no one else nearby, or within at least a month’s travel. She trusts us with all the faith of an innocent and whilst we do not necessarily deal with our own, let’s say, _experiences_ ,” various members of the crew snorted, swigging whiskey and taking drags of cigarettes, “but, the point is that we _have_ those experiences. We can at least understand the sorts of things she has witnessed and went through. Rather than some _nice_ family we could dump her with. We do not have to soften the blow for her, she has already seen things too young. All we need to do is help her process them.”

“And how do you suppose we do that?”

“Well I do have a literal library.”

“Your point being?”

Ivy gave Marius a look that promised evisceration before the night was out.

“We can see if there are references to things that might help her.” She spelled out slowly, “We are lost causes but it might be able to help Lily.”

“She is young enough at least, aren’t little ones supposed to bounce?” Tim questioned, it had been so long for him and he’d never had any younger siblings or cousins when he’d been mortal to have any inkling of how children worked.

“We are not testing that” Clarified Brian quickly at seeing Raphaella’s eyes light up.

“No I mean—”

“Actually, Jonny has started well by providing something she needs overall.”

Several mouths opened to offer commentary, all were silenced by Raphaella’s glare. “Security. Physical comfort.”

“She will seek it from all of us of course, she’s already started to but she’s clearly imprinted on him most closely.”

“Poor kid.”

“Fuck you Ashes.” Glowered Jonny as he continued to rock Lily subconsciously, hand still gently rubbing soothing circles into her back.

The others considered, they had to hand it to him, he was actually doing a good job. They had no idea he knew how to be careful or gentle with anything. Even his mic was designed to cope with rough treatment.

“So, if we keep her we need to accept there will need to be some changes here for her safety. She’s a living thing, we can’t get bored with her and discard her. She’s got feelings that will not cope with how we usually interact and she is very mortal. We will have to curb the violence around her, make sure eating and sleeping happens regularly.” Explained Brian, voicing his concerns from earlier, “and we’ve got to be aware that she’s young enough that our morals will affect her too. So we will have to think about what we say and do around her too. Else she really will end up like us.”

“Wait, she’s going to grow isn’t she?”

“That is what young tend to do, yes.”

“ _Children_ , Raph.” Jonny was going to make her use the right word even if she killed him. Lily _was_ young but not _a_ young. It made her sound like a grub or something else not-persony that made his hackles rise for reasons he had made no attempt to figure out just yet.

“I mean, we have to make sure she eats stuff that’s actually edible don’t we?” Began Tim.

“Dinner tonight was—”

“Edible yes, but not particularly nutritious. She needs food, actual nutrients. Regularly. Every day regularly. That’s a thing we have make sure happens?” pressed the Master-at-Arms suddenly concerned that they might end up just killing her out of accidental neglect. They didn’t really need to eat, not to survive at least. They did it anyway but there was never a nutritional worry behind it, he could eat hard tack for a year and not be worried by scurvy or the like, not that he would, breaking teeth outside of a fight was decidedly not fun. But Lily would need stuff, proper stuff. And not the stuff he fed the octokittens either. Shit. He’d have to warn them off her too, that would be the last thing he needed, get murdered by Jonny repeatedly because one of them bit, scratched or glooped all over Lily. Still, she might actually like them once he made it damn clear Lily was not food. That might be something good for later. He’d have to think about it.

“Yes as well as providing actual milk. Alcohol will kill her.” Pressed Ashes, already thinking up supply lists. It was handy they had all that gold knocking about, they’d be able to make some honest use out of it for a change.

“What?!” Tim was back to being horrified. He’d no idea it was that bad.

“Her system is too immature to deal with it, it IS effectively poison.” Explained Raphaella with more patience that she was feeling.

“Well, fuck.”

“So, we agree to be careful around her? Properly, actually, if-we-fuck-up-she-will-die careful.”

Various noises of assent, along with murmurings, “it’ll keep things interesting at least.”

“What do we do when she grows up?”

Marius elaborated, “We’re immortal, and she’s—” He wanted to keep her too, Nastya had made a good point about the needs they could try to fill and poor kid, there really wasn’t anyone else but this was a real worry. If Jonny was as attached to her as she was to him already and all the evidence pointed to a resounding ‘yes’ on that front then this could be laying groundwork for devastation down the line.

And uncomfortable silence fell on the room.

“That will be something to talk about all together with her when she has matured into adulthood.” Clipped Nastya. 

Well, that was that then.

“If we get her there.” Pointed out Marius, aiming for a joke but keeping the seriousness of what was at stake as an underlying note.

“That’s our challenge. Should keep things from getting boring.” Smirked Ashes.

Jonny grinned in response, secretly relieved they’d all agreed.

In a strange way it was one of the first times they’d sat down and actually talked, they did usually discuss heists or raids or albums but that involved a lot more violence. This had been practically civilised.

They’d timed it well, Lily was beginning to snuffle against Jonny’s tear-soaked waistcoat which he’d learned meant she was about to resurface. Jonny felt something ease in him, knowing that they’d agreed as a whole to keep her around. He was going to anyway once there was clear there was literally no one else, for better or for worse to take her but it was oddly nice that they’d decided together. It meant he didn’t feel quite as selfish at keeping her, privately he liked that she’d chosen him. He’d never been anyone’s first choice and he was going to do whatever he could to actually earn that rather than accept it as a reflex. He felt he owed her that at least.

“Mmm-onny?”

“Yes?”

“Mm-sorry.”

“What for?”

“Making you all angry.”

“I’m not angry.”

He heard a muttered, “fucking liar, always angry.” Without breaking eye contact with Lily he removed one of his hands to flip off the direction of the voice.

“You’re all angry.”

“Well, we usually are, but not at you.”

“Why?”

“Because you’ve not done anything wrong.”

“But I hid. I didn’t fight and that makes me a coward an’ you’re all so brave an’—”

There was an eruption of protests from everyone in the room, “Who told you that?!”

“Where did you even learn that word?”

“Whoa, whoa!”

“That Sounds Jolly Silly To Me!” The Toy Soldier piped up. It had listened but not really understood exactly what was happening. It hoped Lily could stay though. She looked like she might be good at tea parties.

“Wait, what?!”

“I told you, they come up with _stupid_ shit.”

“You were right Nastya.”

“Now wait a minute—”

“Lily stop right there.” Jonny used what he thought of as his ‘captain’s’ voice cutting through everything, especially Lily’s upset rambling. She shut up immediately.

“Now, there’s a lot there but first things first you’re not a coward.”

“I—”

“No, no you’re going to listen to me, in fact, you’re going to listen to all of us.” This probably something she needed to hear from multiple people, plus he’d never get them all to shut the fuck back up anyway, “Fighting is something we do a lot, we’re very good at it. We’ve had a lot of practice and we have the advantage that we come back. You won’t if you get hurt badly enough. You haven’t had enough time to even _think_ about practicing properly good violence.”

“What Jonny is trying to say Lily is that just because you didn’t fight doesn’t make you a coward, in fact, it was safer that you didn’t. They were experienced raiders and there was nothing you could have done except become another corpse.”

The child flinched. Jonny glared at Brian, on MJE and thus not able to lie, let alone prettily whilst he rubbed a comforting hand in circles on the child’s back. He immediately regretted his encouragement of the others actually talking to her about this.

“Brian has a point, an inexperienced hand can often make a situation worse.” Explained Raphaella matter-of-factly.

Lily seemed to grow smaller.

Jonny looked like he was about to commit murder, civility or child on lap be damned.

Nastya sighed, “Lily, we’re not very good at explaining things here, but the important thing to know is that it was not your fault. Even if you had been fully grown and very combat-experienced it is very likely you would have died. There were more raiders than you could possibly have hoped to defend against. Your inaction was not the tipping point between survival and death on your ship. If anything, your parent’s actions was a last show of love, their desire to ensure you lived.”

Lily didn’t say anything this time, fresh tears flowed down her face but she kept her eyes on the engineer whilst Jonny squeezed her gently, trying to be reassuring as he weighed up the pros and cons of killing several of his crewmates for upsetting her more.

“Besides,” added Tim, “you can’t call yourself a coward when you were ready to face all of us as we boarded your ship. You could have hid from us but you didn’t. You stood your ground to defend your home. That’s the opposite of a coward.”

“You were even brave enough to shoot us. If we’d been anyone else you’d have taken out the first person permanently at least.” Continued Ivy, deciding not to mention the 97% likelihood she would have been destroyed pretty much instantly after that.

“Yeah, and you’d set up the ship so you could keep fighting even if you had to retreat, that takes cunning and courage. It wasn’t your fault what happened, and you did your best with what you could.” Added Marius gently.

“Not my fault?”

“Not in the slightest.” He smiled as comfortingly as he could.

“It was a situation out of your control. You didn’t have any power when it was happening. When you did, you used it. You set traps and found weapons and survived. That’s brave too.” Elaborated Brian, well-versed in the ingrained will to live and it was most certainly true.

“Brave?” She sounded like she was trying out the word for the first time in relation to herself. 

“You could have given up.” Jonny gazed down at her.

Lily reared up looked affronted, ready to spit out at least half a dozen reasons as to why that was never something she’d do.

He grinned, clearly reading her expression for what it was, annoyance was something he _was_ fluent in, “But it never even crossed your mind did it?” He pointed out simply, “You stayed alive, you chose to keep fighting and did your best to keep going. That takes some impressive courage.” He was talking to a child, he was allowed to be a bit more gentle than usual he decided. She obviously needed it.

“I-I-I, I was the last one, it was my ship, I _had_ to.”

“No you didn’t.” Pointed out Jonny plainly.

“I—”

“You really didn’t, but you did anyway. That takes guts.”

Lily ducked her head, Jonny very gently caught under her chin and draw her gaze up to meet his. She swallowed, the first mate watched her steel herself before meeting his eyes unflinchingly. Brave indeed.

He took his cue from what Nastya had said, “And you’ve survived long enough to make your parents decision count.” He continued, “They wanted you to survive and you did. You should be very proud of yourself.”

“Oh.”

“Plus,” he cracked a grin, “if you didn’t you’d have never of met us!”

She sniffed then broke out in to proper smile, something in her easing. This was not going to be put to bed any time soon. All of them knew it, this was not something that was fixed by one conversation but it was a start. They’d made her feel better for now, and more importantly, started to get the notion of guilt out of her head. That was something they could build on.

“You know thinking about how brave you were defending your ship against us, I’m reminded of another person who would fight real monsters.” Jonny caught the eyes of the others and winked.

“Really?”

“Yep. She was older than you, wore a black coat and fought all sorts of things.”

The rest caught on, preparing for what was coming amused and pleased at the apparent tone shift, Lily was going to need a lot more assurances in the coming days, weeks and however long she’d need them and they’d provide them but right now, now the worry had passed and there was something else to be done.

“What was her name?”

“Lil Lemon.”

“What was she like?”

It never took the Mechanisms much encouragement to sing. They climbed to their feet and broke out into a spirited rendition of the ballad of Lil Lemon, pleased for a break in the tension and seriousness of the situation, Lily clapping along happily. By the time they’d got half way through Jonny had picked her up and began to swing her around whilst they sang. She’d picked up the refrain quickly enough that she added her piping voice to the crowd.

After the third go round the dangers of dancing with blankets, pillows and sofa cushions strewn around underfoot and bellies full of whiskey, feet caught and tripped, hands clung and tumbled till the entire crew was tangled haphazardly, sprawled and piled on top of each other, Jonny had instinctively pulled Lily to his chest, hand over her head and arm around her body to protect her both from the fall and from the crush of the others.

She let out a squeak of surprise as they hit the soft floor, Jonny taking the brunt of the impact with a grunt. Safe she reminded herself, taking a moment to listen to the reassuring ticking of his heart, she wasn’t sure why it ticked rather than beat like the others but it was Jonny’s noise so it must be safe.

“Fuck!”

Lily opened her eyes to view the damage.

Everyone had fallen and now half lay, half lounged on the floors and against the sofas, everyone was tangled in each other, arms and legs everywhere, pressed up against chests and shoulders and sprawled over middles.

Marius started laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation which set off everyone else.

Before long the whole group were roaring with laughter, drunk and relieved that the current genuine, grown-up and unshootable issue they had to deal with was sorted. Lily’s pealing giggles mingling with the deeper, heartier chuckles of the rest of the crew.

She took in the scene of all these wild people who’d been so kind to her, who were funny and sang and told amazing stories and didn’t blame her for what had happened to her ship. They even thought she was brave! She laughed long and hard, tucked securely against Jonny feeling for the first time in what felt forever, that things might eventually be alright.

It took Jonny a while to realise what the feeling was that went along with the laughter, with a dawning understanding he found he was honestly just happy. Everyone was okay, the whole crew was here and fine and they’d all agreed to keep Lily. He wasn’t going to have to really fight them on this. Which, whilst having a reason to fight was always a welcome way to break up the day this was something else, it was important and he didn’t want Lily to feel in any way unwanted. He knew that feeling. Almost all of them did and if he could spare her that then he would. Lily was safe, and sounded okay. This was something he was going to keep locked tight in his memory. He knew he wasn’t good at this, that he didn’t have the right reactions all the time or understood exactly how emotions worked all the time but this felt right at least.

Ashes did not have a lot of experience with kids, places they tended to hang out did not allow sentient beings under the age of 18 so it was a bit of a surprise the effect of having one around in close proximity. They had not seen everyone so goddamn relaxed in years, eating dinner together, having a proper accidental song writing session and this? All tangled up together like they were puddlin’ back in the orphan house and no one looking uncomfortable. They’d even managed and actual, mostly civil serious conversation which probably hadn’t happened since Raphaella and Marius turned up. And that was very messy to start with. Tonight had gone surprisingly well. They had no idea if this was a good idea, probably not, but it felt like right now at least, it was okay.

Raphaella was pleased they’d all managed to achieve a civil agreement for once. Lily came with the prospect of endless research and observation, Raphaella hadn’t been around children for a very long time, she was vaguely aware they were agents of chaos but seeing one up close was already proving to be fascinating. Her impact was substantial already, the fact that everyone had accepted to modify their usual violent behaviour almost instinctively was already pretty unprecedented. That she was in no rush to shift Marius from where he lay half across her and half cuddled into her spoke volumes. She was comfortable. And the change Lily wrought on Jonny was something the science officer was very keen to continue to watch closely. Like the rest of them she’d just assumed Jonny was a walking hazard, very much following a self-styled ‘mad, bad and dangerous to know’ approach to this ever-life. She didn’t know he even was aware of the concepts of gentleness and comfort but here he was, comforting a traumatized little girl with a gentleness that seemed to flow unhindered. She had no idea if this was going to be a sustainable experiment but right now it seem to be yielding positive results.

Tim considered the situation he found himself in, flopped against Ashes he was, to his surprise, comfortable. Warmth spread through his chest unbidden as he surveyed his crewmates, similarly draped over one another, not bothering to right themselves after collapsing in a pile, too busy laughing at themselves and the whole ridiculous day. And what a day. Tim hadn’t been around kids since he was one, back in school in London, before the war. Him and Bertie playing leapfrog and sonic marbles in the playground before learning about the terrible dictatorship of the Moon Kaiser on their classroom holo screens. Tim didn’t like to remember things like that, the maelstrom of wrenching-grief was only managed, kept contained to a raging quiet in his heart if he didn’t think about things like that. So he didn’t. The others seemed to have a clue of what to do with her and that was fine. So long as he didn’t shoot her it would be fine. He felt a pang of guilt over that, he hadn’t meant to draw on her.

It was just, shooting Jonny was second nature whenever he was being a dick, which pretty much meant whenever he was breathing. He understood guilt though and he’d feel it no matter what fucking _Jonny_ said about it. Still, he had to hand it to him, he wasn’t doing too badly at the whole having a kid thing. Which was weird but not his problem. If he was honest, he understood Lily’s response, he’d been a bit, well, clingy, when he first came aboard the Aurora although he’d never, ever admit it. He hung around Jonny for the first week because he was the most familiar face and gave him a bit of strange stability in this new life he’d found even if Jonny also delivered the most aggressively blistering apology Tim had ever heard.

Lily was clearly going to shake things up which was good, it was always appreciated to have something to change up the days, so long as he didn’t try to think about parallels then it was fine. And at least, this must be the first time everyone had relaxed together so willingly for decades, none of the laughter was forced nor caused by something decidedly unfunny happening. Everyone was settled and jumbled and content, the piping pitch of one little girl having got them all to just, be. He had no idea how things were going to go but right now, he could accept that it felt okay. 

It had been a very odd day, the routine of the previous few weeks had been interrupted by the prospect of some exciting violence, Ivy wasn’t as bloodthirsty as the rest of the crew but she did enjoy the odd gunfight, the calculations she could make and use to devastating effect were exhilarating. And it was an opportunity to learn something new. But coming aboard, well that had been something even she couldn’t have predicted. A survivor, a tiny moral human child surviving in the wreckage of her world. It had been hilarious when she shot Jonny because it was always funny when someone shot Jonny, especially when he was being particularly brash and dramatic but what happened after? Ivy had held her breath, sure that the 82% chance of Jonny shooting the child as she charged at him then proceed to limpet to him was going to tick up to 100% firstly out of pure reflex and secondly because Jonny did not do well with emotions full stop. The fact that he didn’t, that five minutes later when they returned from experiencing some of the child’s improvised traps Jonny was not only still holding her, she was clasped against him, his gun drawn towards whatever had frightened her looking for all the galaxy like a vengeful father projecting his child. To say that had been unexpected would be an understatement. Ivy’s 82% prediction dropped to 7% and that would only be due to a horrible unforeseen accident. She was glad when he took the little survivor back to Aurora, it had given the others time to process, all in shock at his sudden apparent paternal streak that had come swinging into the fore. There had been one minor moment of concern where they wondered if he’d try and just eat her (0.0000000000000000001% chance of occurring) and Raphaella had sighed and followed them on board pointing out that whilst Jonny was highly unlikely to want to kill and eat her he probably had no idea of what he was supposed to do with a traumatised little girl once she was actually safe.

No one wanted to point out Raphaella hardly had qualifications in that department either. None of them did.

The state of the ship had been, even to her, upsetting. These were civilians and they always tried to avoid actual innocents where they could, they were no fun to fight against for a start. Far too easy. But the brutality of what had been perpetrated had been beyond what they would do of a day. They might blow up moons, burn down planets and shoot you as soon as look at you but they didn’t tear people apart. They had lines they wouldn’t cross after all, these raiders had clearly never heard of lines.

To say the black box was unpleasant, well, it made Ivy look up deleting memory files. Lily had hopefully not witnessed fully the massacre of her people but she most likely heard it all, and that was something she was not going to be able to move past for a while. The child was certainly going to have a lot of nightmares but really, she was just joining the club. All of the crew save, Ivy thought at least, the Toy Soldier had nightmares pretty regularly. Ivy didn’t often sleep so she heard the strangled cries, the screams of fear and shouts of pain from bedrooms. Sometimes, someone would join her in the library, pale and trembling, unwilling to speak but would just sit, having grabbed their particular favourite and just read till their hands no longer shook. She didn’t mind. What might be helpful, thought Ivy, was that with the presence of a child that didn’t really have the tools yet to deal with nightmares on her own the others may have a chance to do something about theirs’ at the same time. There was a 25% probability in that but it was better than nothing. Despite all the dangers they presented, Ivy couldn’t help but feel that agreeing to keep Lily was the right thing to do, for everyone. Right now at least, it felt like she might be correct.

Nastya wasn’t entirely sure of what to make of this new situation, she was worried for the safety and sanity of the child being exposed to them long term, Brian was right on that front, Lily was young enough to be affected by their loose grasp of the concept of morals and that was something no one below the age of eighteen should be having as a default. They’d have to be careful. But, at least, even with her survival of a massacre she did not now have to deal with Carmilla. The Mechanisms would take better care of her than that. It was literally the least they could do. The challenge lay in having to remember the core traits of humanity. She and the rest of them were going to have dig deep.

The one thing she wasn’t surprised by was how quickly Jonny had taken on the role of protector and security blanket with seeming minimal objection. He had a carefully hidden caring side to him, he’d looked after her when she’d first been brought on-board, helped her cope with Carmilla and protected her whenever he could. Centuries (or was it millennia? It was hard to keep track) later they were on far more equal footing, but she still saw him as a brother and she knew she was a sister to him, they were the oldest, the longest suffered. Lily might be good for Jonny, he’d convinced himself that caring was pointless more and more with each new addition of the crew forced on them, all hurt, all confused, all merciless hurt further no matter what he did. So he just stopped. Or tried to at least.

It was odd though to look at him with Lily now, like Nastya was remembering a different future, she was struck by the sudden thought of how likely it was that Jonathan Vangelis would probably have been a kind and loving father had he got the chance. Lily was going to need the support, you didn’t just ‘bounce’ back from an experience like that no matter if you were less than half the age Nastya had been. At least Nastya had only been directly involved in her family’s massacre for a short time, but it was enough to ruin her for a long time. She could still hear her parent’s cries before she was shot herself. She hadn’t had to deal with the slowly rotting remains of everything she knew. So maybe they would be good for Lily and maybe Lily would be good for the crew. Right now everyone was more relaxed than they had been decades, it was nice to just be like this, like better old times with Jonny. Aurora was humming in approval of the mechanisms collective jovial mood, it was nice for her to see and also reduced the chance of her being shot again in the next hour or so. Aurora was intrigued too, she’d not seen a human child before-hand was interested to see what she did next. Nastya made a decision, she refused to feel bad about instigating the conversation that had them keeping Lily, it might be selfish but it was better than nothing for all of them, right now at least it seemed to be paying off.

The Toy Soldier was excited to have a new friend! She was small but she liked to hug and had even given it a kiss right on its cheek! That had been jolly lovely! Jonny had ordered it to be careful and gentle with Lily at all times so she must be important because Jonny hadn’t ordered it to be like that with anything else, not even his whiskey bottles! It hoped that Lily liked to play games! It knew so many games to play and they could have so much fun together! It would have to make her a tooth necklace to show how happy it was they were now friends!

Marius couldn’t help bursting into helpless laughter when they all tumbled to the floor in a tangled pile, it was just so utterly ridiculous. They were a wild band of immortal, musical storytelling space pirates with dubious morals at the best of times but they’d all just danced some sort of merry jig to cheer up one very traumatised little girl as if it was the most natural thing in the world. If he’d not been a part of it himself he never would have believed it. It had been a genuinely calm and enjoyable evening, minimal violence and everyone just getting on. It was, honestly, wonderful. He knew he got a lot of shit for ‘caring’ and ‘being a soft fucker’ but he didn’t mind and wouldn’t apologise. He had feelings and he was man (or mechanism) enough to actually engage with them once in a while.

The effect of having Lily in the mix was pretty glorious, Marius had harboured a few suspicions about his crewmates and their deeply hidden tender sides, that Ashes would sometimes wordlessly light a cigarette for Jonny or Ivy would bring Raphaella an interesting book pertinent to her current field of study, that Tim would check in with Brian to make sure his maintenance was up to date, that Jonny would sit quietly with Nastya sometimes or Raphaella would concoct something supremely flammable for Ashes to test out on a new planet. Brian would save any new coordinates or information that he came across and share with Ivy for her collection, Nastya would collaborate with Tim on new weaponry designs sometimes to help him improve the engineering on a particular gun. Marius would play rock paper scissors with the Toy Soldier, he’d cook for the others on occasion too. Nastya shared her violin supplies with him sometimes, playing his favourite duets pieces usually within a day of someone telling him he was looking mopey again.

Anyway.

What he found surprising though he really shouldn’t was just how good Jonny was with Lily. Once he thought about it Marius realised Jonny was probably the only member of the crew who’d been anywhere near children in the last century and that had been to break into a children’s ward to read them spooky stories on Halloween. He was a dramatic bitch of course but, maybe, just maybe Jonny might actually have a semi-functional paternal instinct under all the layers of obvious trauma, guns recrimination, gunfire, self-recrimination, emotional constipation and whiskey. Time would tell he supposed and that was one thing the Mechanisms did possess in lieu of any actual healthy coping strategies.

Still, they’d all managed a proper, honest-to-God grown up conversation about keeping Lily which had only happened once before in his experience and that had been pretty much when he arrived. Best not to think about that. But the effect couldn’t be denied, here were his crewmates, his _friends_ (and if he wanted to call them friends in his head then who was going to stop him?) laying higgledy-piggledy (yes, he knew that word and no he was not about to admit that he was using it in context of their sprawl) and relaxed and he was going to enjoy every single second of it. The fact that they’d made it a solid two hours where no one had been murdered AND everyone was unconsciously start to settle into their positions and cuddle in, well, this could only be positive. Marius liked physical affection. He liked it a lot. It wasn’t a common occurrence on the Aurora and he was going to make the most of it. All settled and God help them, snuggled, this just might work out okay for everyone.

The laughter eventually died down but by that point everyone had relaxed into each other to just be comfortable and (though no one would ever admit it) cosy. A wave of drowsiness rolled over the group, the feeling of having had a good day and the whiskey flowing through them helped soften any lingering qualms. No one wanted to move, to break the moment, it was quiet and peaceful enough to just be, for once enjoying the feel of their compatriots. If anyone asked, well, it wasn’t fair to disturb the kid now was it? Especially since they’d just got her happy and drowsy again.

Lily was, unsurprisingly, the first to doze off, sleeping the sleep of the exhausted but content. She was cuddled into Jonny, head on his chest, ear over his heart, knowing even in her sleep that he was there and she was safe. More surprisingly Jonny followed her a few minutes later, satisfied and settled and secure, the weight of Lily against his chest, Ashes’ legs across his, shoulders just brushing whilst one arm holding the child in place and the other wrapped around Nastya on his right side, left from when he tried grasping at her to save them from the inevitable fall.

Nastya nodded off shortly after, conceding to leave her head resting pleasantly on Jonny’s shoulder, tucked into his side, her legs draping over Brian. Jonny could be wonderfully comfortable if he stayed still long enough. Not that she would admit that but it was a fact. There was a space on his shoulder that she claimed time and time when it was just the two of them surviving Carmilla. Even with everything and the uncertainty that lay ahead it was nice to know she still fit there perfectly.

Ashes’ had their back against one of the sofas, cushions underneath them with Tim up against their other side, their hand resting on his chest like it was a normal every day thing. It stirred one of the few good memories they had of the orphan home, the press of soft bodies, all on your side for once, just wanting safety and warmth. This was an odd family for sure but it was theirs’s, for better or for worse and right now, with everyone together this was something they could enjoy, it felt right somehow and if that meant accepting another being into their ranks well, why not? They could always use some new to teach their art to. It was that thought that pulled them down into rest, leaving a lingering smile on their face.

Tim was resolutely not snuggling against Ashes, he wasn’t it was just how he’d fallen and since Raphaella was across the lower half of him it wasn’t his fault he was pinned. Nor was it his fault that Ashes was just so warm. No. He was pinned and he was dealing with it as best he could without disturbing Lily. Poor kid needed some rest. He bit back a yawn. Definitely kid needed the rest. He was still telling himself that as his eyes closed. Well at least Jonny was asleep first, he could mock him about that later. He just needed five minutes to let his eyes recharge, it had been a long day after all. Tim turned, already half-way to sleep and pressed his face into Ashes side, hand reaching and gently resting on Raphaella’s shoulder.

Raphaella was comfortably warm, between Tim and the cushions beneath her and Marius half flopped over her, her wings tucking around them both this was more than acceptable, it was even nice. She didn’t even mind Marius’ arm flung across her waist. She entertained herself listening to the breathing patterns of her crewmates, working out the rhythms and estimating the lung capacities of them all, she was so absorbed she didn’t even notice sleep creeping up on her.

Marius made absolutely no effort to hide the fact he was enjoying this impromptu cuddle party, he’d fallen pretty spectacularly and was now pressed against Raph with his feet tangled in Ivy’s. He could get used to this, he let the contentment wash over him, even if he was woken up with a bullet, this was absolutely worth it.

Ivy had fallen against Brian, used to sleeping against and on stacks of books he was decidedly more comfortable, especially with his layers of shirt, waistcoat and coat all rucked and tucked against her. Sleep wasn’t something Ivy sought, it could bring confusion, a tangle of out of focused, half-formed fuzzy memories that she couldn’t grasp or nightmares, of paper burning of lightning in her brain. But right here and now, everyone is present, currently no danger or at least, there was only a three percent chance of something terrible happening in the next eight hours. Ivy found herself slowly slipping. It wasn’t that terrible edge of a precipice slide but the gentle easing into a warm bath, she felt Brian behind her, solid and sure, Marius’ boots with their ridiculous straps he added just to annoy everyone wrapped with her own. She heard the gentle breaths of everyone and for once, it was alright to simply give in.

The Toy Soldier had fallen against Marius, it wasn’t sure what this new game was but everyone seemed to be being very quiet and still. It could do that too! It stayed very quiet and still pressed up against Marius. It entertained itself listening to everyone. It wasn’t usually this quiet, normally someone was singing or shouting or shooting but this was nice to listen to too, different sounds. Sounds of its friends. Altogether, just like they should be. It hoped this might happen more often. It liked this.

It was rare for Brian to see his crew mates relaxed enough to actually sleep, oh he’d seen them passed out, drunken and dead but sleeping? Naturally sleeping? Quite rare.

Which is why, he feels it’s reasonable for him to be taken by surprise at just how young they all look. Lily was curled up on Jonny’s lap, little hands latched on to his waistcoat but not quite as if her life depended on it this time. Jonny was also asleep, face turned towards her, an arm wrapped around her as though she were the most precious cargo he’d ever held. Brian felt the not-breath catch in his throat. Asleep, all the wildness and rage and maniacal glee soothed from him, he looked as though he were barely more than a teenager, almost innocent in his repose which was funny in and of itself. Cuddled around each other as they are, the two of them look for all the cosmos like an older brother, protecting a tiny little sister. Brian wished he could take a photo.

He hoped Aurora would.

The rest of them were similarly arranged, all tucked and sprawled and cuddled into each other, at peace for once, their features smoothed and eased. He enjoyed the press of Ivy and Nastya leaning on him from different sides, across from him Tim was snuggled into Ashes’ side, their arm wrapped around him as he looked like he’d fallen asleep mid-pet of Raphaella’s shoulder. Nastya had snuggled closer to Jonny, arm thrown around his waist, hand finding his over Lily and holding it tight, looking every inch her original nineteen years. Marius’ face, from what Brian could make out from between the wings, was buried in Raphaella’s stomach, her hand buried in his hair, his feet linked with Ivy. He’d savour this moment, this peace. He still wasn’t sure if raising a child between them was a good idea but if it led to moments like these he wasn’t going to complain. His crew was together and that was what mattered. He let his eyes close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed this and don't mind my growing need for human contact bleeding into the story somewhat! Cuddle puddles will continue to be a theme in my fics for as long as I am denied an actual, real hug! Comments are always and increasingly very much appreciated and make my day! 
> 
> I think there might be one more chapter left in this particular story but there are plenty more tales to be told in the wider Lily'verse!


	6. Mornings, supplies and some realisations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The cuddle pile awakens, breakfast is sought and several crewmembers reach some important realisations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly, many apologies for the wait on this, I have no excuse because I literally cannot leave my house but I've been working on this chapter for weeks and when I came to add the last bits and tweaks I realised it was over 12k words! So this is the first section of that monster, a far more readable 4k! The rest will be coming soon-just as soon as I bash out the last linking bits- I swear, these guys just keep talking. 
> 
> This is a bit of a domestic one with basic logistics being arranged and several members of the crew reaching a few important realisations.

Aurora did, in fact, take photos. Several of them. Some because it was a novelty to see the whole crew together and peaceful for once, some because they looked cute, one in particular because Nastya looked adorable and she wanted to keep a record of her love so reposed and the rest to share amongst the others whenever blackmailing was required.

Amusingly for Aurora they’d all shifted a little in their sleep, Jonny had pulled both Nastya and Lily closer to him so they were in a mini cuddle pile all of their own, Tim had snuggled further into Ashes, their hand having found its way into burying into Tim’s wild hair, holding him tighter. Raphaella and Marius had curled around each other, wrapped comfortably in wings. Ivy had turned in her sleep, calm for once, pressing closer into Brian, arm and leg thrown easily across him, cheek pillowed on his lapel, her body supported by his arm wrapping easily around her. Only the Toy Soldier hadn’t moved but it was jolly proud of itself for winning this particular game.

The Mechanisms awoke slowly, various hangovers in full affect, consciousness creeping until confusion, recognition and embarrassment began to bloom. Hands were already reaching for weaponry hoping to cover awkward blushes, all horrified at having been seen to be vulnerable when a high pitched voice, far too cheerful for such an ungodly hour.

“Morning! Can we have breakfast? I’m hungry! Please?”

Hands quickly withdrew from weaponry.

Jonny mumbled something unintelligible.

She butted gently against the first mate’s chest, “Jonny! Can we have breakfast please?”

English swam hazily into his consciousness, his immediate instinct to kill was swallowed by both hangover and the octave he was being addressed at. Lily. Protect. Do Not. Under ANY circumstances. Shoot. “Sure, once I remember which way is up.”

Lily giggled, clambering off him to survey the rest of the room. The others were getting up too but Jonny still had his eyes closed.

“Up’s where the ceiling is!”

Jonny’s eyes remained closed, “Thank you, very helpful.”

Lily giggled harder, enjoying the soft grumpiness of Jonny. He reminded her of her Daddy when she tried to get him up early to make breakfast for Mummy on special days like her birthdays. A sob rose up in her chest as she thought of them. She swallowed it down it quickly. She didn’t want to cry again in front of everyone, not when everyone had been so nice and worked so hard to cheer her up last night. It had been nice to sleep all together, she’d felt truly safe for the first time since the raiders came, it was good to hear the ticks of Jonny, have the scents of whiskey and smoke and spice instead of blood and death. Being surrounded by living bodies breathing. Everyone was safe and together and all alright.

Nastya elbowed Jonny in the side, aiming for one of his few weak points, “Get up you lazy bastard.”

It had the desired effect.

The first mate gave an undignified yelp before launching upwards.

“That’s a handy trick to know.”

“Fuck you all, and you especially.” He sent a perfectly venomous look at Nastya.

Nastya smirked, “It’s not my fault someone’s hungry.”

Jonny turned, raising a hungover face to take in Lily, who was beaming down at him, offering a hand to help him up. He felt the ticks in his chest speed up, she looked so happy, just, normal and happy. They’d managed a whole night and nothing terrible had happened. Maybe they could do this.

He found his irritation at being awake melting when faced with such unashamed excitement. He didn’t have it in him to disappoint her so early in the day. “Alright then, breakfast it is.” He took her proffered hand more for her benefit than his, guessing (correctly as it happened) that she’d probably like to think she was helping.

The world lurched in only a mildly alarming manner so all was as normal, as hangovers went this was decidedly reasonable. Well he was upright, reasonably sober and willing to deal with at least the next hour of the day.

Lily hadn’t let go of his hand.

He squeezed it gently, “What d’you want to eat?”

“I want to make pancakes!” she paused, remembering her manners, “Please.”

“Okay, er,” he cast a look at Ashes, “do we have the stuff for that?”

Ashes sighed, “Yes but we’ll need to pick them up from storage.”

“Can I help?” Lily asked, all big eyes and excitement.

Ashes had no idea what to do with such enthusiasm so early in the morning. At least, they thought it was morning. It was hard to tell in the rec room. “Er, sure.”

Lily darted forward, yanking an unsuspecting Jonny along with her to grab Ashes hand as well.

Ashes clearly took a moment, the rest unconsciously held their breath. The quartermaster was not a fan of being grabbed. Jonny tensed, poised to haul Lily out of the potential damage path. Ashes most likely wouldn’t mean to but still. He remembered the last time they’d been startled by Marius. There were still scorch marks on the wall and floors.

Ashes pulled themselves together and gently squeezed in return then cleared their throat. “Okay then, well if you’re going to be cooking you should probably know where to find stuff.”

The others picked up on the slightly stiff note to their voice but otherwise the moment seemed to have passed.

Lily hadn’t picked up on the tension, she was keen to show that she liked everyone, she really wanted to make they liked her too then they’d let her stay. She hoped.

Ashes was also significantly taller than Lily so the child couldn’t see their face to read their mood.

As it was Ashes led the crew to the nearest store, not too far off the mess and galley for convenience, “Might as well show the rest of you if we’re going since none of you usually bother.”

“Hey! I know where stuff is!” Came Marius’ indignant reply.

“Really?” tested Ashes, one eyebrow raised.

“Mostly.” He conceded.

“Uhuh.” Ashes just sounded unimpressed.

“Well it’s not as if we need to eat as a matter of course.”

“That’s going to change.” Jonny’s tone brooked no argument. If it was something Lily needed to live then it was something that was going to happen.

“This will be helpful though, I can expand my research.”

“So long as you keep track of what you use to concoct whatever your latest murder potion is Raphaella.”

“I’ll have you know the most recent batch has been purely microbiological.”

Ashes was un-phased, “Like I said, murder potion.”

“What does microbiological mean?”

The science officer didn’t miss a beat, “It means small living systems.”

“Why’s that a murder potion?”

“Because I experiment with what the microbiologies can do.”

“And they can do murder?”

“Sometimes.”

“Isn’t that bad?”

“Depends on who they’re murdering.”

“Oh.” Lily paused to process, “Bad people?”

Raphaella decided it was far too early for a discussion of ethics, especially when she only had the most passing acquaintance with the concept of a whole. “Yes.”

Brian made a noise of strangled horror. “Well ‘bad’ is a complicated term.”

“No it isn’t.” Argued Lily with all the surety of an eight year old who’d seen too much of the universe already. “‘Bad’ are the people who came to my ship. Before you all came and got me.”

“Well—” Brian could unpick that and go into long and extensive detail on why that was wrong for literally hundreds of reasons however, he was getting glares from the rest of the crew, including Jonny’s patented ‘I-will-literally-take-you-apart-piece-by-piece-and-feed-you-into-the-reactor’ fury-stare. Lily’s face too had taken on a new cast, there was a sharpness there, her look too-pointed, too old. This was a conversation for a later point. When she was old enough to understand nuance, it was probably not wise to undermine her trust in them all on her second day. They were certainly going to be good to her at least. Still. He probably had to ensure he didn’t start down this route that he wasn’t going to be able to stop.

Brian carefully and casually flipped himself on to EJM.

“—That’s true.” He answered. 

He felt the collective breath catch and release from his crewmates.

Lily nodded seriously as if Brian was confirming a long-held theory, “I thought so.” She smiled, before turning her attention back to the science officer, “Microbiology sounds really cool, are they tiny people? Can you show me?”

The tension was broken by Raphaella effectively blue-screening.

Marius couldn’t stifle a laugh, “no jellybean, it’s like tiny, tiny blobs of different coloured fried eggs squelching about, they’re called cells and the middle bit that would be the yolk is called a nucleus. It works like a tiny brain that tells the cell what to do but they’re cool because you can tell them what to do too, you can give them orders and watch them go do what you’ve told to do.”

“Oh, that’s really clever.” She clearly filed that away for later use, then focused on her next question, “What’s a jellybean?”

Marius was a man who was used to rolling with most things, he was someone to whom embarrassment often happened to other people because he simply had no shame most of the time but to say he was caught out by that one question was to vastly understate the moment.

“Yeah Marius, what’s a jellybean?” Tim had a huge smirk plastered across him as the ship’s doctor turned an impressive shade of red. The master-at-arms didn’t often get the chance to tease a genuinely embarrassed Marius, it was hilarious.

Marius hadn’t meant to say that out loud, oh well, if he had one foot in his mouth might as well go for the full inside-out move.

“A jellybean is a kind of sweet, it’s small and bouncy, comes in lots of different colours and usually brightens up your day when you have them. I haven’t seen them for years, they’re not a thing in this particular galaxy but you remind me of them.” He managed with a remarkably straight face.

Others were about to rip into him for being an utter sap until Lily looked like she was actually glowing.

“So it’s a good thing?”

“Very much so.”

Lily erupted in a full giga-watt beaming smile. She launched herself forwards to throw herself at Marius (who was rather more prepared for a hug this time) and met her with open arms the second she started moving.

“Thank you!”

Okay so affectionate nicknames got a good reaction. Good to know. Jonny filed that away, might come in handy down the line.

“You’re very welcome.” He answered aloud. She pressed an enthusiastic kiss to his cheek much to Marius’ delight before bouncing back down to skip back to Jonny. Ashes had discreetly moved away from them but Lily was too caught up in getting called something good to notice. She took Jonny’s hand happily enough.

Jonny had taken a moment to absorb everything that had just happened.

Marius was actually pretty good at explaining stuff it turned out, Jonny himself was unfortunately painfully aware of what microbiology was but it would have been a damn sight easier to wrap his head around if that had been his starting explanation.

That. That might come in useful, Brian had a tendency to wax lyrical given half the chance and Raph went hard for science and didn’t care if you couldn’t keep up. Nastya was good. But then she always was. Nastya _got_ things, far better than he did most of the time. Tim was far too much like him, why uses lots of words when a bullet or an explosion would do? Ivy didn’t talk all that much but when she did it was a lot, usually about something very obscure that had excited her but Jonny honestly lost track about three sentences in most of the time. Ashes was short and to the point most of the time. Which was usually welcomed by him and they seemed to have an idea of what Lily needed more than he did. Which was helpful. And the Toy Soldier was just there. Typical.

Ashes opened the storage room, “Here’s most of the immediate galley supplies, we got all basics. What do you need to make pancakes?” Ashes was not a cook on the best of days. They could barbeque like a deity but that happened whether you wanted them too or not. When they were on a quiet planet and wild drinking was happening they were left in charge of the camp fire food but anything that could not be speared and shoved into flames was a lost cause.

“Um, you need flour, eggs and milk for a boring pancake. That makes an easy one but you can add sugar or honey or syrup or dried fruit or, or,” Lily began to run out of steam, too captivated by the frankly decadent stores, “well anything you like to eat really, it depends what you’ve got saved but there’s just so much here!” She finished a little breathlessly.

“Bacon?”

“Is that a meat thing?” She vaguely remembered it being mentioned in one of her story books.

“Yeah, comes from pigs or pig-like animals. Never quite sure galaxy to galaxy.”

“Then yes! You can make really good dinners like that too.” Meat type food always tasted good, she savoured hers whenever they got to cook some.

“Nice.”

“Alright, dry stuff is over here, preserved stuff is over there and sweet stuff is on these shelves.”

“I, I didn’t know we had this much.”

“That’s because none of you fuckers bothers to look.”

Lily was nearly fizzing with excitement, “We can make so much! Do you have to ration it out so everyone has some? Fresh things that you can grow in hydroponics are the best but our systems were breaking so we didn’t get much and there was a lot of people get around and…” she began to trail off.

“Raph, is there a hydroponics lab here?” asked Jonny nonchalantly.

“No,” she dismissed before picking up on what was actually being asked, “but we could convert a space into one if we wanted.”

“Can we even store fresh stuff?” asked Tim

“Oh yeah,” Ashes gestured to the corridor beyond, “we’ve got all the means to feed a Cyberian fleet. Aurora was a transport after all.”

“Oh, right well, that’s something to keep in mind.”

“Do you mean we can have fresh things? Like apples? I’ve read about them but I’ve only had dried rings and pieces.”

“Wow, you ship was—” Brian poked Tim in the ribs with a decidedly pointed elbow, “—lucky that it had so much dried fruit.” He amended quickly. But seriously? How the hell were they supposed to have managed on a new planet, they could barely keep the basic systems running and their armoury had been _pitiful._ No wonder they’d been massacred. They’d have probably had a bad time trying to settle on a new planet too.

He didn’t say this out loud. He wasn’t _Jonny_ for fuck’s sake but he did make a decision there and then to make sure Lily was not only familiar with weaponry but she could shoot, check and repair any and all weaponry she ever came across. It would be literally the least he could do. 

“Alright,” Ashes took control of the room, “so grab some stuff for the next few days, we can always come back if we need anything else, just make a note of what you get. It’ll save me having to re-inventory.”

The others were too intrigued to see what was actually in the store to grumble about being given anything resembling an order.

Once dispatched Ashes moved carefully back towards the little girl and gently pulled Lily aside, “Lily, I need to talk to you.”

“What about?”

“When you grabbed my hand, I’m not angry don’t worry, but I need you to know that it surprised me.” Lily’s eyes grew round in concern, she knew that tone, Ashes was upset but trying not to show it, “I’m not used to people grabbing me. People have done in the past and it didn’t go well so next time, if you want to take my hand I need you to ask first.”

“Oh! I’m sorry! I didn’t know!”

“I know, which is why I’m telling you now.” They explained calmly. They didn’t need to go into details about immolation. Jonny would probably shoot them in the back before they got halfway through.

“I’m sorry I upset you.”

“That’s alright, you know now and I trust you to ask me first in future.” Ashes gave Lily a levelled stare, hoping to convey the gravity of what they were saying.

“I will! I promise!” She considered Ashes, wondering how to prove it. “Can, can we shake hands on it?”

Ashes raised an eyebrow. Smart kid.

“Sure we can.”

They shook hands firmly, Lily beaming at them.

Good, now that was sorted Ashes took another moment to assess Lily now she was up close to them, kid really was small. And given what she’d said about rationing and dried fruit? Kid clearly wasn’t getting enough of what she needed. Ashes remembered fighting for food at the orphan home but they’d been pretty good at sneaking out and stealing what they needed from well before they were Lily’s age, that burning stuff served as an excellent distraction in order for more food thievery was just a glorious flaming bonus. There was no option for that where Lily was from.

Now though, now Ashes was in charge of supplies, now they had the power over who got what most of the time and made sure it was always enough they began adding mentally to the lists they’d started last night. If nothing else, this kid would not go hungry with them.

Jonny had kept half an eye on Ashes when they’d drawn Lily over to them. Jonny was well aware of Ashes’ objection to being startled and he understood that but it didn’t mean Ashes could get away with being a dick to Lily when the kid had no idea of the kind of shit they’d been through. That all of them had been through.

Ready to snap into action he listened whilst trying not to look like he was listening. He picked up on the tone though, it was soft, far softer than he was used to from Ashes outside a rehearsal or gig. They were explaining, simply and gently so that Lily got it.

The kid did.

Even offered a handshake, like she was establishing that she really understood and knew the difference now. Jonny couldn’t help the grin that spread over his face. He stopped, assessed the feeling that was suddenly coursing through him. He was proud. Of Lily. For doing the right thing and being considerate of Ashes.

That was weird right? Her actions were her own, he didn’t have any say in them. It wasn’t like he got proud of the others after a particularly good gig or when Ashes managed to get something previously, categorically labelled ‘flame retardant’ or ‘inflammable’ to ignite or Tim’s newest built weapon dealt explosive chaos just like he’d planned or—shit. SHIT. He did. He _was_.

FUCK.

When was anyone going to have the decency to tell him he actually gave a real fuck about everyone?!

No, they couldn’t know, he was allowed to care about Lily because she was a kid. She needed people to care and it was just some sort of bullshit in-built thing for people who passed as adults to make sure the future generations survived and when did he become some sort of guardian by proxy and—

Nastya got right up by his side, whispering menacingly into his ear. “Do not lose your shit right now you idiot. It is too early for your usual bullshit. Lily is fine and has a greater range of emotional depth than you. Calm down and shut the fuck up.”

“I wasn’t saying anything,” he hissed back, prickling all over.

“No, but I could hear your internal screaming from the flour. Get your shit together Jonny. Lily is what is important right now.”

Her words had the desired effect, slapping the panicked worry from his eyes and replacing it with his usual murderous rage. “I know,” he snapped back in a vicious whisper, “I know, it wasn’t, I was just pleased she got was Ashes was saying.” He surprised himself at how truthful he was being. Nastya shared the surprise.

Her eyebrows raised almost imperceptibly, “I see.”

Jonny was reminded suddenly that he had meant to talk to her about yesterday, check in like he cared. Because he _did_ care. Fuck.

He knew she was holding herself more stiffly, more aloof. She was itching to get away. The only reason she’d stuck around so long this morning was that they’d ending up sleeping cuddled together like they’d used to back when it was just the two of them, hiding in the vents trying to avoid Carmilla. Now she couldn’t peel off without drawing attention to herself, especially from Lily. Jonny knew it was coming, that the second Nastya got a chance she’d be off but there was absolutely no way he actually be able to talk to her properly when everyone else was around. At least the engineer’s focus was aimed favourably towards Lily, Nastya cared about her already. That was always a good start. He could take her bitching at him if it distracted from what he was actually thinking. Or rather, what he was starting to have an existential crisis about. That could wait. Till several new stars burned out.

Lily broke the glaring competition they managed to have fallen into.

“Did everyone find what they wanted?”

“Certainly did. You ready to make breakfast?”

“Yes! I’m really hungry!”

“Me too.” Agreed Jonny pointedly.

Lily was far too hungry to notice the tension between Jonny and Nastya, instead seizing on Jonny’s hand because he’d not asked her not to and seemed to like it when she did.

“What kind of pancakes do you like?”

“Um,” his immediate answer of ‘whatever Brian or Marius make’ would be far too telling, he couldn’t let them know that he liked and _appreciated_ their cooking. He’d never hear the end of it, “whiskey pancakes.” Was what fell out of his mouth first.

He heard a lot of snorting from behind.

“But that would taste awful! Whiskey smells really bad!”

“That’s because you’re too small to have a taste for it yet.” He defended.

“I don’t want to! Even when I’m a grown up!”

“Well, all the more for me then.” He flashed a wicked grin at her.

“Can you cook with it?”

Brian jumped in, “no, well, probably not, it’s very, very flammable and that tends to go very wrong, very quickly.”

He could see the rise of a challenge dawning across her face. Oh no. He could see why she’d latched on to Jonny so hard, even with the first case assurance that he couldn’t die and leave her behind, there were clearly some similar traits there already. “Plus, you wouldn’t want to waste it if it went wrong.” It might be a dirty trick but he was still on EJM and playing on her obvious aversion to waste was probably the quickest way to avoid a non-Ashes fire in the kitchen.

“Oh, yes that’s true.” She deflated a bit. Well that was one crisis averted

Marius decided to throw the conversation a bone since Jonny apparently had not appropriate tastes even when it came to just fucking pancakes.

“I’ve got some chocolate chips, want to make pancakes with those in?”

“What’s chocolate?”

Marius’ grin grew even wider, “Oh do we have a treat for you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much reading this, I think I have one or two chapters to go for this particular story and I'll try and get them out soon!
> 
> This is day 74 in isolation for so the touch starvation is only growing and I am using these guys as my Coping Mechanisms.
> 
> Not even sorry. 
> 
> Please let me know what you think, comments give me life and really make my day! 
> 
> Also happy release of the Death to the Mechanisms concert recording on Bandcamp today, this was an extra kick to get me posting!


	7. Trials and Safety

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Mechanisms introduce Lily to chocolate and shooting (inanimate) things. Both go as well as can be expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took a while to update everyone, I blame chatty immortal space pirates who would not shut up long enough to make this a chapter of reasonable length so I apologise for a 7k+ addition here. I'd planned for there to be a visit to Ivy in this chapter too but guns and friendly recrimination apparently needed ALL the word count! 
> 
> I wrote and wrote and never seemed to be finished with this section but here is a point at which I think works to have a chapter break! Next time I promise a library visit happens!

Marius wasn’t wrong.

The kitchen was adorned with liberal splatters of pancake batter dotted with a few chocolate chips but a pile of steaming pancakes stood proudly on the table

As it was all the Mechanisms for once had joined in with breakfast production, all of them taking turns to cycle in to ‘help’ Lily who was diligently measuring and mixing and frying with at least one mech behind her poised to catch her if she fell off her box whilst the others teased each other and stole chocolate chips. It was a decidedly social morning, probably the residual leftover softness from their impromptu sleepover but no one was going to question it. It was a rare peaceful moment and no one was willing to disrupt it. Lily looked far too happy.

For her, she was safe, warm, and cooking with as much as she wanted for an appreciative audience.

Tim, unprompted, taught her how to flip pancakes, his hand to eye coordination translating easily to frying pan-handling. Stood behind her, Tim held the pan with Lily’s hands on his controlling the flip and the angle. Lily was thrilled. 

When she had a go on her own the first few were half flopped and one enthusiastic one ended up on the ceiling before she got the hang of it. She trilled when she landed her first one properly.

None of them knew humans could make that noise.

They all threw concerned looks to each other before taking another look at Lily who looked utterly delighted. Clearly a happy noise then. Good.

The pancakes were piled high on to plates on the dining table, Brian adding various condiments including maple syrup and his own version of a chocolate sauce made from some left over chocolate chips.

Chocolate, it was safe to say, had been a huge hit. Lily had managed to get quite a bit of it round her mouth but most of it had gone in the batter. The expression on her face when tasting her first chip had been one they all wanted to remember. Such a simple, heartfelt joy. Her eyes had nigh-on sparkled as she launched into roughly 157 quick-fire questions all about the apparently magic food-stuff. It was exhaustingly nice to be able to use some of the less violent facts they’d picked up over the years to entertain.

“So what are the plans for today Jellybean?” Asked Marius.

Lily swallowed her last bite of her pancakes and chirped from the security of Jonny’s lap that had been her perch throughout breakfast (he’d been getting good at eating one handed).

“Ivy said she had a whole library and Raphaella said she’d show me flying!”

The two women exchanged glances, clearly surprised that Lily had remembered and suddenly deeply worried about how and what exactly they’d do with her without endangering her or boring her.

Tim, for once, decided to rescue the conversation, mainly because he’d been itching to find out how good Lily would be firing a gun of a reasonable size to her. “Sorting out the Lab and Library might take a bit, want to do some target practice with me first?”

Lily lit up and asked immediately, “Can Jonny come?”

The two shared impressively mutual scowls before they both seemed to get the same idea at the same time.

“First to twenty?”

“You’re on!”

Both of them allowed the grin of anticipation to spread over their faces.

“Well I’m coming too, so you both remember where to point the barrels when there is a small mortal in the room with you.”

“Spoilsport.”

Brian was unmoved, Marius chuckled.

Lily just cheered.

***

Five of them ended up making a detour to the wash room at both Lily and Tim’s insistence, she was decidedly sticky and Tim was not going to spend two weeks properly cleaning his weapons just because his crew mates couldn’t be bothered to get chocolate off their hands. Ashes had noped out pointing out they had better things to do than watch Jonny and Timmy compete and the Toy Soldier, much as it liked to be included didn’t like being around Jonny and Tim when guns were most certainly guaranteed to be involved, splinters were quite the bother after all and it was always reduced to them whenever Jonny and Tim played their games. Instead it announced it was going to chocolate tea in honour of a successful breakfast to have for a later breakfast. No one was willing to argue that wasn’t how meals worked.

Once they reached the firing range Lily let out a little gasp.

Tim’s domain was huge.

He’d repurposed one of Aurora’s docking bays, she had several and The Mechanisms were not a Cyberian fleet needing to regularly launch a hoard of battle cruisers. They managed fine, Brian and Aurora were perfectly capable of landing without needing anything else, they did have a few shuttles to use if they ever needed them but that was rare. They usually moved around together or fucked off alone, there was never much in-between. Tim had also rigged up various targets, platforms, climbs and armaments mainly to keep things interesting. 

The others hadn’t been allowed into Tim’s shooting range for a while, not since the incident with the cordite and the paint.

He’d clearly been adding some extra features.

“Wow!” Lily summed up the group’s feelings succinctly.

Tim grinned, chest puffed out in pride at the reaction. He’d worked hard on improving his range to incorporate his expanded armoury. 

Jonny could feel Lily fizzing next to him, she was bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet in excitement, sending the vibrations up his arm as he held tight to her hand. There was no chance in hell he was about to let go of her in here, he could see her fingers itching to touch everything and he did not put it past Tim to shoot her on pure reflex if she bee-lined towards his stash.

The walls on either side of the room were adorned so magnificently that any garrison would be jealous.

All the weaponry was neatly aligned, set in sizes, gauges, ammunition requirements and firepower. 

“They’re all so shiny!”

“They are.”

“And dangerous.” Added Brian instantly.

“They’d be pretty silly guns if it they weren’t!” pointed out Lily matter-of-factly to him.

“True.” That was something he couldn’t argue with, it was a pretty clear concept. He sighed internally, for a moment he missed the apparent simplicity of childhood. It must be nice to have that sort of security in concepts. Brian decided then and there he was not going to be the one to disabuse her of these ideas until they absolutely had to, Lily had seen enough for the moment. She could see the world as she pleased.

“Do you want to learn how to shoot one safely?” asked Tim.

Lily went full constellation gaze, “yes please!”

Tim gave a genuine smile at her excitement. Jonny felt a strange prickle of jealousy, it took him by surprise, he got jealous of all sorts of petty shit, it kept the day interesting, starting squabbles with various members of the crew but this? This felt new. Like he was envious of Tim being able to teach Lily something important. Which was stupid because Tim, much as Jonny wouldn’t like to admit it was the Master-at-Arms for a reason. Tim was a natural with projectile weaponry, if Jonny was in one of his more romantically lyrical moods he’d describe him as gun whisperer so it made sense for him to be teaching Lily. There was still a curl in his belly that didn’t like it. He shut that feeling down quickly. It was fine, plus he could always teach her to use _his_ gun.

Bar-room brawling might have to wait a few years though.

It was such a casual thought but it nearly knocked him sideways. Years. They were doing this, all in together, they had a kid. Realisation kept hitting him in waves.

Jonny, with supreme effort pulled himself together, Nastya’s words echoing his in brain loud and clear _’get your shit together, Lily is what is important.’_

“Right, let’s try and find a good size for you.” Carried on Tim, too focused on Lily to notice Jonny’s spike in panic. “Any of you bastards so much as thinking of touching my armoury while I’m helping Lily I will throw you out of an airlock.”

“Isn’t that Jonny’s trick?” Smirked the doctor.

“Fuck you Marius.”

“We really shouldn’t curse so much.” Objected Brian.

“What’s cursing?”

“Saying bad words.” Supplied Marius helpfully.

“Oh, like fuck you?” Asked Lily, all big eyes and innocent voice, “That doesn’t sound friendly, but lots of things you say to each other doesn’t sound friendly but you’re friends anyway. So is it bad?”

The four men in the room shared equally helpless glances.

She wasn’t exactly wrong, ‘fuck you’ had become as much as a term of endearment as it was an aggressive statement. The lines had blurred a very long time ago but now they were being forced back into sharp relief.

Jonny had no idea how to answer, part of him thought it was hilarious to hear Lily curse up a storm like the rest of them but another part, the part that would always be from New Texas was quietly horrified, little boys and girls were not permitted to use such vulgar language. He’d been thrashed several times by his mother as a child for being profane. It was probably why he swore so much the second he was of age. Huh, he’d not thought of home for centuries.

Brian spoke up since the others were all clearly incapable of coming up with a reasonable and satisfying answer, “a lot of the time words can have different meanings depending on how you say them but some words, like ‘fuck’ are called cursing and it can be a way for Grown-ups to express things, both good and bad.”

“Oh. So I shouldn’t say fuck until I’m a grown up too?”

“Yes. You earn the right to say things like that, it’s part of the compensation for growing up.”

“What’s compensation mean?”

“It means to make up for something.”

“Like something bad? Is growing up bad?”

“No, not really but usually it means you have more responsibilities.”

“Oh,” Lily thought about this a moment, considering what she’d seen so far of the crew, “like how you’re the pilot who flies Aurora?”

“Yes.” Brian was more grateful than he was willing to let one that she’d found an explanation that had worked for her, herself. Meant he didn’t have to get any more tangled than he already was.

“Oh, alright. That makes sense.” Lily paused thinking, before piping up, “what about Bastard?”

Tim had to swallow down a chuckle at Brian’s face. He and Jonny weren’t all that fussed about language, good or bad. It was actually their pilot and doctor who had far more of an issue apparently.

“Yeah, that’s a grown-up word too.” Explained Marius, deciding to take over from Brian to rescue him, the pilot had done the hard part after all. He wasn’t sure why it bothered him hearing Lily swear. Maybe it was an obvious show of them corrupting her? Since she clearly hadn’t heard that sort of language before. Whatever they did he knew they’d probably end up having a negative impact on her eventually. It was kind of inevitable given how young she was and who she’d ended up with as guardians, the kid was still incredibly impressionable. Still, Marius found himself wanting her to stay as true to her original behaviour pattern as possible. It was all she had left of her parents after all.

“Alright then.”

Thank God Lily was a reasonable child. It probably wasn’t going to last, but he’d do his best at least and make the others join in where he could.

Lily, satisfied with the clarification she’d been given, turned her attention back to Tim, “Can I shoot something please?”

The Master-at-Arms gave her a feral smile, “Of course, first things first though,” Tim fished in his pockets before he gently tossed one of the rubber balls he used to play with the octokittens at Lily who caught it easily in her left hand.

“Aha, good.”

“What’s good? That I caught it?” Lily smiled hopefully.

“Yes,” Began Tim, “Good hand-to-eye coordination is important for good marksmanship but I also wanted to know which hand is your shooting hand, it’s usually called your dominant hand, catching a ball is a quick why to show me.”

“Oh that’s so clever!”

The others had to agree, it was a pretty useful way of figuring out something quickly. Tim was turning out to be surprisingly creative.

“Right then,” Tim cast his eyes over the left hand side of the racks, critically assessing what would be the best first fit for her.

After a moment or two he selected a small, neat pistol all in proportion for a child’s hand. It had been constructed to be used by Cruxlian infantry who averaged roughly Lily’s size and built, similar enough to a small earth pistol it would fit in along the other’s favoured weaponry. Tim was extremely smug about his policy of taking at least one of every weapon type he found back to the Aurora even if the others gave him shit for it. You never knew when it was going to come in handy and now it finally had.

“Now, first things first. Safety.”

Jonny snorted before he could stop himself, Brian and Marius flanked him on either side a well-placed poke and a kick cutting him off.

“What?” Asked Lily innocently.

Jonny swallowed every smart-arse comment than was boiling on his tongue, “Nothing, safety is very important, listen to Tim.” Fuck. This being civil thing was hard work. It was just too funny, the idea that Tim, _Tim_ , was talking about weapons safety when he regularly shot the crew and blew up anything in his path when he was annoyed. Still, it made sense. Lily was decidedly more fragile than they were.

With supreme effort Jonny held back on everything else he wanted to say and just listened, nodding along with others when Tim carefully explained how to check the gun’s barrels to make sure it wasn’t loaded, how to break and carry it disassembled to where the range was then assemble it carefully before loading.

Jonny honestly thought he was going to rupture something when Tim made the point that Lily should never a point a gun at anyone but sobered pretty quickly when the master-at-arms added that she should always, and without question, assume that each and every gun she saw was loaded until she’d broken it down and checked herself.

That. That was bloody good advice. Jonny was actually pretty impressed. He always assumed that because they usually were which was helpful in any and all the gunfights or early morning wake-up piss-offs he was involved with but for Lily? Well. His guts turned cold at the idea of her accidentally shooting herself because she’d seen one them or worse she’d seen _him_ be reckless and think that that was fine. (It occurred to him much later that it would also be bad if she accidentally shot him or the others too since that would devastate her).

Suddenly he really started paying attention to what Tim was saying, trying to remember the main points so he could go over them again with her later and make sure she really was being careful.

As nonchalantly as he could he clicked his own pistol’s safety on.

Jonny ignored Brian’s audible smile behind him, kept his focus on Lily as he casually flipped both Doctor and Pilot off.

There was the softest chuckle from behind him. He’d get them later and show them gun control.

“Now last thing, keep holding the gun like you are, flat in your hands, fingers away from the trigger, I’m going to put these on you, is that alright?” He showed her two oddly shaped discs he pulled from his pocket.

“They look like ears!”

“That because they sort of are.”

“Why?”

“Because guns are loud and I don’t want you to hurt your hearing.”

“The guns on my ship were loud. There was ringing noises for a long time.” She was starting to get that sad, flat look she got before tears started appearing. Tim decided to press on, this was either going to be fine or it really, _really_ wasn’t but Jonny was here and he’d fix her alright. It was something the first mate could do and do well. Tim had no idea how he managed it but he was not about to question it, it was nice Jonny could be useful for once outside of their gigs.

“Exactly. That’s because it was too loud for you and it hurt your ears. And not all of our guns use laser power like on your ship, you remember was I called the ammunition for this gun?”

“Bullets?”

“Good girl. Bullets are a lot louder than lasers. How do they work again?”

“The hammer strikes the back of the casing and explodes the front bit forwards out of the barrel!”

“Well you were certainly listening, well done.” For a moment they mirrored each other’s smile before Tim grew serious again. “Can I put these on you?” He asked again, determined not to just assume it was okay to get all in her space.

“Will I be able to hear at all?”

“Yes, you’ll hear our voices fine, they just turn down the sound of the gunfire.”

“Okay, yes please.” Jonny picked up on the tremor in her voice, she was getting a little nervous. Wordlessly he tapped Tim’s arm above her head, gesturing for one of the ear defenders. Tim nodded and handed it over without a fight.

Both Marius and Brian were impressed, that was probably the most reasonable exchange between the two of the last decade.

Jonny knelt on her right side since Tim was focusing on her gun-side for this practice.

“You alright?” he asked bluntly. There was no point dressing it up, he knew she wasn’t.

“Yes.”

“Really?” followed up, a little more gently, sounding far more like an entreaty. Normally he’d just accept at face value but Lily didn’t get to be ignored. She was too important and he cared about how she was actually feeling. Something churned deep in his belly. He didn’t want her to be uncomfortable with them. Not when she’d already endured so much.

“Bit scared.” She admitted quietly. 

“Of what?”

“The bang.” Oh well that was easily fixed.

“Don’t worry these will make it really quiet.” He paused, thinking then realised something, he gave her a searching look, “Lily, you don’t have to prove anything.”

“What?”

“You don’t have to do something you don’t want to just to prove you’re brave, we know you’re brave. Understand me?” This was as serious as the others had ever seen him. Marius was quietly impressed at Jonny’s insight. He could apparently pay attention when he wanted to. Good to know.

“Oh.”

“So, do you still want to shoot?” the first mate asked, offering her an out.

She looked across to Tim.

“Jonny’s right, we know you’re brave already, if you don’t want to that’s alright.”

“But you spent all this time showing me.”

“Doesn’t matter, you don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable doing understand? No matter what anyone says.”

“Oh.” She paused looking at the gun in her hands then between the two men. They saw her resolve steel itself right in front of them.

“I want to try. If I try and I don’t like it then I won’t do it anymore but Mummy and Daddy said I should always try something new at least once to know what I like and don’t like. If I don’t try I won’t ever know.”

That was a pretty mature response all in all. Marius sort of wished he could have met Mum and Dad Lily, they sounded like they really had their heads on straight. It was rare to hear of actual decent put-together adults. Let alone put-together-adults who were also parents. He felt another stab of worry for her. She’d been given such a solid start in morals and values and now she was stuck with them. This was going to be an utter disaster wasn’t it?

Jonny and Tim shared a nod.

“Okay then, if you’re sure?”

She nodded with certainty.

“Yes. I am.”

“Okay, we’re putting the ear defenders on now.” Jonny and Tim moved in sync to cover her before Jonny stepped back behind her giving her shoulder what he hoped was an encouraging pat.

“Ooh. Everything sounds all fluffy.”

“Can you still hear me?” Asked Tim, fighting back a smile at her phrasing.

“Yes.”

“Good,” He picked up the gun from her hands, holding it up and guiding her how to aim it properly. “Now look at the target in front of you, I want you to point the barrel towards the red circle in the middle, that’s where you’re aiming to hit. When you’re ready just squeeze the trigger gently.” Tim had picked his model for another reason, it had very little in the form of recoil so it shouldn’t startle her too much.

Lily took a deep breath. She was still a bit scared but she knew she could stop if she didn’t like it and Jonny was right there behind her. He’d make sure she was alright, it must be safe if he thought it was alright for her and Tim was so kind and patient, he wouldn’t have her do something scary and bad on purpose.

Focusing on the target she imagined it being the mask of one of the raiders who’d destroyed her people. She squeezed the trigger easily.

She hit the target, not the bullseye, but not bad especially for the first try.

She looked back to Tim for confirmation.

“Nice shot, what do you think?”

“I liked it, it felt good,” Brian caught Marius’ eye. The doctor raised an eyebrow, not a cause for concern. Not yet, but worth watching for. “Not as scary as I thought.” She added, meaning every word. It had been exciting.

“Excellent! Want another go?”

“Yes please!”

“Great, now this time move your aim a little to the right.”

Lily shot multiple rounds getting closer and closer to the bullseye but stopped every so often to ask more and more technical questions.

Jonny kept an eye on her but stayed back to be more moral support than guide. Tim was doing a decent job after all. Brian and Marius began to card play whilst still keeping an eye on things.

After a while Tim began to feel a little more confident in Lily’s ability, “Think you could have a go on your own with the rest of us shooting at the same time?”

“Standing in a line altogether?”

“Yes. How many rounds can your gun hold?” He checked in with her, he was well aware of the figure but he was determined to hammer home the idea of constant awareness for her around weaponry. The more they’d done the more worried he’d got about how dangerous all this actually was to a mortal. A young mortal. At her moment of fear he’d been horribly reminded of his battalion engaging the lunar men for the first time, the boys in his unit before Jonny and TS joined them terrified of their god-awful weapons that they’d had hardly any training on how to maintain. He’d been the go-to for weapons maintenance pretty much from day one. He’d seen what carelessness could do and he didn’t want that for Lily.

“Eight.”

“Then we’ll all shoot eight times, two lots of four if you want the others to join in?”

“Yes please.”

“Okay then.” Tim turned his attention to the other Mechanisms in the room, “You lot heard her, two rounds of four, gives you chance to reload for the second round Jonny. Marius, still using the double clip?”

“Yep.”

Jonny was weirdly touched that Tim chose not to make it harder for him, he could have easily to show him up against others. It was strange for them all to be being reasonable with each other, strange but not, not as disgustingly sappy and uncomfortable as he expected every non-violent interaction to be. Huh. Who would have thought?

“Brian you joining us?”

“No thanks, I’ll make sure you all keep in line.”

“Hey! We’re very trustworthy.” Complained Marius at the implication, even if it was totally fair.

“Indeed.” Deadpanned Brian, a quirk of a smile playing on his lips. He was actually really enjoying everyone just getting on together, it was as rare and it was welcome.

Marius joined in gleefully, he’d take part in pretty much anything for the sake of joining in, it was just nice to spend time with the others, it had taken them a while to accept him after all so he relished the opportunity to just be together, it was why he liked music practice so much. Having Lily on board was definitely yielding positives. The important thing would be to make sure it was reciprocal. She deserved as much positive as they could give her.

Tim set up a new bullseye target for them.

Lily was flanked by Tim and Jonny, Marius to the right of Jonny.

“On the count of three, began Brian, one, two, three—”

A cacophony of shots rang out, paused after four then resumed.

They’d annihilated the target.

Tim and Jonny checked in with Lily simultaneously, “you alright?”

“Yes!” She sounded utterly exhilarated.

“Too loud?”

“No! It was fine!” It honestly was, it had been exciting, not scary at all, there might have been lots of shots but she was safe. Jonny and Tim and Marius and Brian were all there. They were all good and kind. No bad ones in sight.

“Good.”

“Can we do it again?”

“Of course, let’s get reset then you can show us how you re-load your gun.”

“Okay!”

They went for another half an hour before Lily asked to stop to give her arms a rest. She carefully broke the gun, emptied the chambers and placed it on the floor.

“You okay?” Jonny doubled checked.

“Yes my arms are just tired.” She watched his fingers twitch near his holster and the sparkle in his eyes. Jonny liked shooting but he was going to stop if she stopped. Lily remembered what he and Tim had said about saying what she wanted.

“You can keep going, I’m going to talk to Brian and keep him company.”

Jonny quirked an eyebrow, “you sure?”

“Yes!” She reassured him quickly, “You like shooting and you’re stronger than me! I just need a rest!”

He cast another eye over her just to be sure but she looked certain, “Alright then, just come back over if you want another go.”

“I will!” She gave him a quick hug before heading over to the pilot.

Lily liked Brian, he was quiet and friendly and had a nice smile even if he did have a sadness in him that she couldn’t work out. It was probably that he didn’t get all the hugs he needed. She got sad if she didn’t get enough hugs and cuddles so that was probably why Brian was sad. It was one of the many reasons why it had been utterly horrible on her ship and why she cuddled and hugged Jonny so much. He was safe and he’d not asked her to stop. Nor had Brian when she’d hugged him last night. Well, if no one else was going to give him a hug right now then she could. Her arms weren’t _that_ tired after all.

She approached the pilot who’d taken a step back now that she was no longer in the firing line up, the others could sort themselves out.

He should have expected her to approach him. Lily needed to be close to people, even when there were people in the room. Not surprising really, given what she’d come from. How long she’d been alone in space. He could empathise.

“Brian?”

“Yes?”

“Do you not want a go?”

“No, not really I just like to watch everyone having a nice time.”

“What about you? Don’t you want a nice time?”

“I like being with my friends, that’s a nice time for me. I don’t really like shooting things all that much.”

“Oh. Did you just come to be with us?”

Brian could lie but he honestly didn’t care what the others thought of him, it was important to reassure Lily. “Yes. Yes I did.”

Lily beamed up at him and raised her arms.

It took a second for it to connect for Brian before he realised what she was doing and wanted. He picked her up. Lily immediately cuddled up against him, wrapping her arms around his neck and settled against his chest liked she’d always been there. Brian felt his very human heart speed up in his chest.

“That’s really kind. I like spending time with you too. Your chocolate sauce for the pancakes was amazing!”

“I’m glad you liked it.” He gave a genuine smile that reached all the way to his eyes.

“It was delicious!” She looked up at him, “what’s the red thing in your hat?”

“The red thing?”

“On the green stick?”

“Oh, you mean the rose.”

“Oh! A rose like a Rose Red from the story?”

“No, not like a Rose Red, they were copies of a person, this is the flower Rose was named for.”

“Is that what they’re supposed to look like?”

It was Brian’s turn to go through all 5 stages of grief in roughly two seconds.

He deftly plucked the rose from his hat band to show her, Lily gently traced the petals with a tiny finger. “It’s so pretty.”

“Thank you. It’s not a real rose, real roses are alive and grow, this one was made to look like one without it dying.”

“I’m glad you have it, it matches you.”

Brian just looked puzzled so Lily spelt it out, “it matches because you’re pretty too, you’ve got sparkly eyes and a big smile.”

Brian lost the power of speech, instead gently holding her tighter, tucking his face carefully against her neck as she redoubled her hug on him. Brian felt safe and secure to Lily, he might not be the same as Jonny, he didn’t have the reassuring tick that Jonny did or the _spicesmokewhiskey_ but he was just as gentle. Lily could feel the strength in him, he was metal, all metal to her eyes but there was a softness she didn’t question.

He just was.

No one could smile all the way to their eyes like or hug like that and be all cold and hard. That was just silly. She told him so too, planting a kiss on his cheek for good measure.

Brian took a breath, aware he was about to freak her out if he didn’t speak, making her think she’d upset him when it was the exact opposite. “Thank you, that’s very kind of you to say Lily.”

She beamed her sunny smile at him, “You’re welcome!”

“Do you want to have another go with the pistol Tim picked out for you? You’re getting good with the targets.”

“If you’ll watch?”

“Of course.”

“Okay!”

Brian lowered her carefully to the floor. Before he could escape Lily had hold of his hand to draw him closer to the louder group.

Tim and Jonny had taken advantage of the Lily-less moment and had been competing against each other, trying to hit as many bullseyes in one minute as possible.

It was a pretty close call, Jonny was faster but Tim was more accurate.

“Time!” Yelled Marius.

Both men fired off a last shot.

“That’s cheating!” Shouted Lily.

“Finger was already squeezing the trigger!”

“No it wasn’t!”

“You two are as bad as each other.” Sighed Brian with fond smile.

“No, because one of us is better.” Both Jonny and Tim were completely caught up in their competition, determined to get the upper hand against each other.

“How so?”

“Well someone won.”

“How do you know?”

“Well someone must have won, just have to count the holes in the bullseyes to be sure.”

“Alright, well it needs to be impartial.”

“Marius you wanna—?”

“I think Lily should count.” Announced Marius. Jonny laughed heartily.

“That’s cheating!” Objected Tim.

“It’s not! I can count! I’m a big girl! Anyway why would I cheat? It’s not my competition!”

“Because you’ll want Jonny to win!” He answered before he really thought about what he was saying.

Lily cocked her head to one side eyed Tim curiously. “Why? If he’s not won then he’s not won.”

Tim and Jonny both looked incredulously at her. Both expecting her to favour the first mate and call it as such.

Lily was getting that fiery look to her, “Cheating’s bad! It makes your victories hollow!” She actually stamped her foot in annoyance.

Jonny and Tim shared another shocked glance. Marius tried not to laugh, Brian hid his smile.

“I’m going to count them out loud so you know I’m not cheating!”

Lily huffed her way over to the two targets that had been the focus of the competition.

“Make sure you only count the holes in the red circle in the middle.” Called Marius, far too amused to be of any actual help. It was hilarious to watch these two squabbling idiots be put in their place by a cross little girl. It was also funny to see, for once, how similar Jonny and Tim were to each other. Marius wasn’t sure how he’d not really noticed before, though that could be due to being dead a lot in the crossfire when these two usually argued. Without being allowed to murder one another it came across less like a deep, long running feud that sparked up and died down every so often and a lot more like two little boys having a spat. It was even funnier when not long ago, both had been incredible serious and sensible when dealing with Lily and making sure she was safe.

“I will!”

She loudly counted out all the holes in the right then left hand targets.

Amusingly, it was a draw.

“See! No cheating!” she insisted.

“Tie break?” offered Tim, knowing he’d win on accuracy.

“No.” Jonny growled back.

He gave a shark-like grin, “Scared I’ll win?”

“Why does someone have to win?” Demanded Lily.

“Because!” they exclaimed simultaneously.

“That’s silly! You’re both as good as each other!”

“How did you work that out?” Asked Marius, genuinely interested if this was her attempt at a placation or if she really meant it, she was still looking incensed.

“Because Jonny’s got more holes in the big target, Tim’s got less but they’re all in the middle. So he’s neater and Jonny shoots faster and wider but the bad people you’d be shooting are still just as dead.”

That shut up the argument that had been about to explode.

Brian felt that familiar worry curl in his belly.

Tim caught his eye and gave the smallest of nods.

He reigned himself back in, feeling mildly chastised by a small girl. A small girl he was meant to be teaching. Bloody Jonny pressing his buttons. “You know what, that is a very good point. The end goal is the same, and Me, Jonny, Marius and even Brian are very good at shooting bad people. Do you want another go? You’re a quick learner.”

Brian still wasn’t thrilled by dividing things into purely ‘good’ and ‘bad’ but understood the need for it right now, what was more impressive was what a good teacher Tim had turned out to be. It shouldn’t be all that surprising, he was incredibly patient when cleaning his weapons, but it was still nice to see that could be extended to small children.

Lily beamed once more, very forgiving, “yes please!”

“Want to try a different gun?”

The child looked unsure, “What would be different? I liked the one I used before.”

“The one I’m thinking of is a little bit lighter but a little longer, the barrel is vanadium steel which is has more flexibility,” she look puzzled, Tim adjusted his phrasing without missing a beat, “it’s more bouncy, so it should take some more of the recoil, the kick-back, out of it for you.”

“Okay!” She skipped over to Tim via Jonny to whom she threw her arms around briefly then carried on delightedly to take Tim’s hand to try out a new weapon.

Jonny still looked like he was trying to regain his balance form the tonal whiplash. Marius was amused and rather heartened at Lily’s intuitiveness, she was clearly keen to remind Jonny that he was still her primary go-to, her most trusted of the Mechanisms she was surrounded by. And honestly, Jonny actually needed the reassurance. It was obvious to Marius that he was expecting Lily to latch onto someone else at the first opportunity. It said a lot about the first mate and his own sense of self-worth. It might be both unfair and asking a lot but Lily might end up being decidedly good for him. She wasn’t going to relinquish her attachment to him anytime soon, if Jonny shooting both Tim and Marius in a furious rage hadn’t put her off then she wasn’t going to be put off lightly. Which was going to be rather useful since Jonny had no idea what he was doing with her most of the time. Good thing his apparent dormant paternal instincts seemed to be dragging themselves out of the depths to navigate the important stuff so far.

The three Mechanisms watched Tim hand Lily the gun who broke it carefully just like Tim had shown her to ensure the barrels were empty and the gun was unloaded before walking back to the range.

Jonny set up the next target for her whilst Tim knelt beside her to tutor her moves.

On the fourth shot she hit the bullseye.

Jonny let out a very New-Texas whoop.

Tim caught her hands before she could even start to cheer. “No. Remember, there’s ten bullets in this gun. If you wave your hands around what will happen?”

“I, I might squeeze the trigger?”

“Yes. And would that be bad?”

“Yes.” She was starting to look a little shamefaced. Jonny was tempted to tell Tim to leave her the fuck alone, she was just excited for hitting her first bullseye and it wasn’t like she’d kill them but stopped himself. This was important, they might not care that she shot them accidentally but _she_ would. It would devastate her and he already needed to fish out a replacement waistcoat that wasn’t marked with dried tears and snot. He also really didn’t like seeing her cry. She needed to learn gun safety.

“Why?”

“I might shoot accidentally and hurt someone.”

“Well done. So what should we do if we want to celebrate?

“Put the safety on? And re-holster.”

“Good girl!” Tim broke into a proper smile, “Show me how you put the safety on.”

Lily did.

“Excellent, now you can hand the gun to me and hug Jonny.”

Jonny barely registered the words before Lily had handed the gun to Tim, kissed his cheek and then thrown herself at him. Jonny was glad his reflexes were fast.

“Well done!” He caught her up in his arms, “That was some good shooting!” He praised sincerely. Lily looked like she was glowing. “Now why don’t you show me how you empty the rest of the chambers into that target?” He encouraged.

Lily did just that.

They spent another hour practicing. The last twenty minutes saw Tim, Jonny and Marius actually having a properly competition making use of all Tim’s tricks and set up. Aware of an audience they put on a bit more show and flash for Lily who was safely held on Brian’s lap, a long way from danger.

The boys, relaxed by the earlier competitions, and vaguely aware that ‘winning’ wasn’t going to be the rewarding ego trip it usually was just threw themselves into enjoying the challenge, releasing some of the pent up itch to just shoot things that they’d been avoiding scratching around Lily.

Tim unsurprisingly won that round, surprisingly for Brian, Jonny and Marius didn’t care, far too caught up in actually having a good time getting to let loose in a way they rarely got to on-board Aurora. It had been honestly just _fun_.

All three of them came together at the end, sporting identical grins.

“Enjoy that?”

Lily exploded in excitement, bouncing on the metal lap, “That was so cool! You’re all so good! There were so many things and you hit them all!”

“Thank you, it takes practice but you’ll get there.”

“Can I do more later?”

“Of course you can.” Tim meant every word, surprising himself. He’d really enjoyed teaching her, far more than he’d been expecting too. She done a lot better than he’d expected as well, that first shot she’d fired back on her ship hadn’t been a desperate fluke, she had the makings of being a good shot. She had the right sort of core to her.

“Thank you.”

Lily pressed a kiss to Brian’s cheek then bounded over to Tim. Then stopped and waited until he re-holstered and motioned her forwards, face splitting to a wide grin, still full of the rush that came from a satisfying shooting practice, “Come here!”

Lily whooped before bouncing into his arms, he swept her up, far more at ease with her now he had a better gauge of her. He definitely needed to introduce her to the octokittens at some point and make sure she was absolutely off the menu. “I had so much fun! Thank you!” She pressed a kiss to his cheek, before turning to Marius hugging him for good measure then made her way over to Jonny who picked her up and settled her on his left hip as though he’d been doing it for years.

“What next? Library with Ivy or Flying with Raphaella?”

Lily considered, it had been a lot of fun but she need a break from all the explosions.

“Library please.”

“Sure thing.” Jonny turned to the Pilot, “Brian can you warn Ivy?”

“Of course.”

“Right, um, Thanks, see you lot later. Have to do this again some time.”

“Yeah, yeah we should.”

Everyone was surprised by the sincerity in both statements.

Jonny headed out with Lily before he could say anything else that could be construed as sappy or considerate.

The remaining three shared a look, Brian fond and Marius gleeful.

“Yeah, yeah, well you two can help me pack this away.”

Marius moved easily to help, pausing as he considered the bullet marks. “Tim?”

“Yeah?”

“Are they any non-lethal things we could shoot?”

“What, why?” Began Tim initially indignant before he cottoned on, following Marius’ trail of thought, smile widening. “I’m sure I could find something.” That would make quite for quite the entertaining activity.

They turned as one to face Brian, “so long as it’s something that won’t stain or jam up gears. And I am not going to be the one to explain to Nastya how this won’t upset Aurora.”

“Coward.”

“Sensible I think you’ll find.” Smirked Brian reaching to pick up a ruined target, quietly thrilled something might be on the cards for them to do as a whole crew that didn’t involve murder and mayhem, well, at least not murder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again to everyone for reading this, I am still quarantining alone (day 91 and counting!) and thus living vicariously through these guys and all the hugs Lily dishes out left and right. I have no shame and regret nothing!
> 
> I also made choc-chip pancakes and can heartily recommend! 
> 
> As always, please let know what you think, your comments give me life and help keep me sane!


	8. Books and Favours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jonny takes Lily to visit Ivy and the library, things are read, comparisons are drawn and favours are asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, we get to Ivy and her lovely library and not a gunshot to be heard! 
> 
> I just wanted to say a quick big thank you to everyone who has been commenting on this story, you're all lovely and have given me a big burst of inspiration so please have a new chapter as a thank you!

Jonny was not a huge fan of Ivy’s Library, the quiet unsettled him. It reminded him too much of the times he and Nastya would hide, hoping the silence would save them from the next round of Carmilla’s ‘essential maintenance’. But he could accept the refuge it offered to the others, it wasn’t a secret everyone on board had nightmares it was just something no one talked about. Jonny knew several members of the crew would follow a bad night with a quiet book, he’d heard and seen enough when he went on patrol following his own bad nights because that was his job, he was the Captain after all, he had a duty to make sure the ship was safe and free from potential invaders. It stood to reason. He didn’t have time for books.

Lily obviously did not share his opinion.

The child reached the entrance and gasped. A huge grin split her face and she began bouncing on her toes again, swinging backwards and forwards from Jonny’s hand, vibrating with excitement.

“So I take it you’re a big fan of reading?”

“YES!” She beamed up at him, a mixed mouth of baby and adult teeth. Not for the first Jonny was struck with just how young she was. She didn’t even have all her permanent teeth yet. _Fuck_. “I love to read!” She continued excitedly, “But we didn’t have books like this, not paper and pretty smelling. I had a screen with all the stories but they’d break or run out of power a lot but these can’t do that!”

“I mean, they can rot or burn.” Pointed out Jonny, very aware of the situation he pulled Ivy out of when she’d been mortal.

“But that will not happen whilst they are under my care here.” Ivy appeared from the back of one of the shelves.

Jonny had warned Lily not to charge into the library, Ivy was not anywhere near a violent as the others but she would shoot first, reprimand later if someone was being inconsiderate in her space, especially in a way that could damage her precious tomes.

“Hello Ivy!” Lily continued to bounce in the doorframe hand held tight by Jonny.

Ivy was amused, there was an 87% chance that Lily did not need to be holding Jonny’s hand to stay out of the Library but was just as happy to be there with him. Even better, Jonny was 54% less uncomfortable than she was expecting, Ivy knew Jonny was not a fan of the library for several reasons but it was likely that Lily was acting like a calming influence. Ivy filed that away for later use.

“Hello Lily,” she nodded to the first mate, “Jonny.”

“Is this the Library? It’s so big! I’ve never seen so many books! What are they about?”

Ivy was warmed by the enthusiasm, she didn’t tend to get much of it from her crewmates, “I can show you, all the shelves have different subjects on, I’ve organised them by the types of things they talk about and the language they’re written in.”

“That’s very clever! Do you have to put them in order of the alphabet?”

“Sometimes but that relies on things written in the English language, I’ve organised things by language to make things easier.”

“There’s more than one language?”

It was Ivy’s turn to blue screen.

Jonny turned to Lily, trying to remember not to scoff, it wasn’t her fault she was eight and only knew her transport ship. He was at least a thousand years old, maybe two, time was hard to keep track of, so had, by dint of living, learned a thing or two.

“Yes Lily, there’s probably more than I can list even if I talked non-stop for the next six days.”

“Oh.” He watched Lily process that information, “that’s a lot.” Was her considered opinion.

Well. She wasn’t wrong.

“Yeah, lots.” He agreed.

“How many languages are the books in here?”

“12,732.”

“Oh.” That was a very lot, Lily tried to picture that but didn’t think she’d seen that many of _anything_ , let alone heard that many things, she thought some more. Ivy had to very, _very_ clever to be able to recognise so many different languages so that begged the question, “And how many languages can you read?”

“15, 987.”

“Wow!”

Lily went full starry-eyed.

Even Jonny was impressed, he had no idea she had such an extensive knowledge, academically he’d just sort of accepted that Ivy knew roughly everything, did he ignore that knowledge a lot? Yes of course he did. But it was something to hear some of it in actual defined quantities rather than the generally nebulous ‘everything’ for once. Huh.

Ivy had recovered enough to blush, a slight very real smile tugging at her lips. Jonny was struck by how nice that looked, how he’d never seen that smile before. It was enough of a distraction to push that familiar sense of inadequacy to the back of his mind to ignore for a bit longer.

“So, Ivy, Lily need a library card or something?”

Ivy stared at him, the shock clear on her face, “You know how a library works?”

“I said what I said,” Jonny bristled, “I’m not an idiot.”

The shock softened, “Didn’t say you were, there’s a 67% you’re more intelligent than you let on but only a 32% likelihood you’d know the process of a library because you always avoid them whenever we land.”

That was quite a bit to be hit with in a short amount of sentence.

He huffed, deciding not to acknowledge the fact that Ivy didn’t think him stupid. Or that he wanted to grin at that revelation, that it surprisingly meant so much to him.

“Well I do, they had one in my town.”

“I see. But no, the books do not leave this space.”

“Aww.” Lily’s disappointment was palpable. 

“The longer you stay on this ship Lily you will realise why, the crew cannot be trusted with simple care and consideration of books so they stay here were I can oversee their use.”

Jonny opened his mouth to argue they weren’t that bad but then images of Marius spilling soup on one as he read at the mess table, the Toy Soldier tearing out pages to fold to make tiny books for its tea party guests, Jonny himself hefting a tome to smack Tim in the face with it, Brian holding one up as a shield when Tim decided to test out his version of grapeshot and yeah, well, that time Raphaella tried to distil words off the page to create a liquid story.

Yeah. Ivy kind of had a point.

Jonny closed his mouth again.

Ivy nodded, satisfied by Jonny’s lack of protestation.

“You can come here and read Lily, if I’m here.” She paused, considering the statement, and added, “I’m usually here. I’ve found some books in English that might be interesting for you to look at, would you like me to show where they are?”

“Yes please!”

“Right then, I hope you have clean hands.”

“I do! I washed them after shooting things with Tim, Marius, Brian and Jonny.” She held them up for Ivy to inspect. She flicked a questioning glance to Jonny. He nodded encouragingly over the child’s head. Ivy made a show of inspecting the very clean hands.

Lily beamed at her.

Ivy responded with her own small smile, unsure but trying. “Good. Follow me then.”

Lily began to dart forwards, Jonny realised what she was about to do and caught her shoulder, squeezing it very gently.

The child whirled around to look at him surprised. “What?”

Jonny raised an eyebrow, “Remember this morning?”

Lily took a moment, clearly thinking before the penny dropped. “Oh!”

Jonny grinned, pleased she’d got it without him having to spell it out.

“Ivy?”

“Yes?” The archivist had watched this exchange in mild fascination.

“Can I hold your hand please?”

Huh. That was not something she was often asked. If ever.

It was good to see the child learning from interactions, even if she needed a little prompting. Ashes had done their job well that morning it seemed. It was rather nice Jonny had thought to remind Lily though. Hmm.

Ivy considered. The child seemed very eager and she’d asked politely which was a novelty in and of itself.

“You can. Thank you for asking.” Ivy proffered her hand which Lily gladly took. Offering a slight nod to Jonny as she did so.

He returned it with a small genuine smile that quickly became his usual smirking grin.

Ivy huffed, turned away and led Lily to books a set of shelving that looked suspiciously new. Or at least, hastily repurposed. Jonny glanced over the books with a cursory glance until realisation punched him in the face. Ivy had pulled together and reorganised all the English-speaking children’s books onto shelving that Lily could reach. Normally Ivy organised as she’d stated, there would never have been a reason to separate out for audiences since the Mechanisms were all (nominally at least) adults.

There were a few cushions casually-on-purpose placed at the base of the bookcase.

Jonny felt a sudden rush of affection for Ivy, changing her meticulous system for the child they’d ended up with out of nowhere. He crushed that feeling down ruthlessly, no one needed to know he cared. Least of all him.

“Do you have a preference for genre?” 

Lily paused, puzzling over the new word before admitting, “I don’t know what that means.”

“Do you have a favourite type of story?” Ivy translated quickly.

“Ones with happy endings.” Answered Lily immediately.

Oh fuck. This kid was going to be bitterly disappointed. All happy endings were lies. But then again, she already knew how cruel the universe could be. And kid’s stories (the few he’d read at least) tended to have happy and hopeful endings because it wouldn’t do to crush little ones so young.

Or something.

If you’d asked Jonny three day ago he’d have said, happy endings were for sappy wankers and were a waste of time (even if he did like a satisfying romantic conclusion on occasion, not that anyone would ever prise that out of him) but now, having been around an actual, living, breathing, not-annoying child Jonny found himself wanting to keep the worst of the grim reality of things away from her if he possibly could, she’d seen more than enough to be getting on with.

“Alright,” continued Ivy, “I’ve got a lot with happy endings. Have a look and see which one you like the look of the most.”

Lily looked like Ivy had offered her the galaxy. 

“Can I touch them? Please?” The child was vibrating with excitement. 

Ivy paused, taking in the earnest question. Ivy felt herself soften at the request. There was a reverence there for the books that appealed deeply to Ivy. She wondered if she had once been so enthused at that age? Probably, even if she couldn’t remember. “Yes, yes you can because I’m here. Thank you for asking, you’ve got good manners.”

“Thank you, Mummy and Daddy told me it was very important to be polite.” Her face fell but before either Mechanism could react the child wilfully pulled herself back together, she didn’t want to cry again. She’d cried a lot the night before and she didn’t want to seem ungrateful or like she was a useless little girl. She wanted to be big and brave like them so they’d keep letting her stay with them. She was so lucky to have had nice people come to the ship to save her. It could have been more raiders.

“Where should I start?”

“I’ve organised the books in alphabetical order based on the author’s surname. But it might be better for you to read the titles, that’s the names of the books to get an idea of what you might like to read about.”

“Oh, okay. Thank you” Lily needed no more encouragement, she planted herself in front of the bookshelves and began eagerly scouring the information, completely absorbed in her task.

Ivy stepped back to stand next to Jonny, “it’s nice to see someone appreciating literature.”

Jonny sighed, “Yeah, yeah.”

“Well, it looks like you’re going to be here for a while so make yourself useful.”

“Why?”

“Because I know you’re not going to actually pick up a book so you might as well help me move some of these volumes to the right shelves since they’re currently homeless.”

Jonny did consider refusing or shooting her, but Ivy had actually done something to help Lily out and make her feel welcome which, honestly, he was grateful for. The more places Lily could be in safely and without danger of being accidentally shot or blown up was a bonus.

He made a show of being resigned, he did have a reputation to uphold after all, “Alright, since I’m here and Lily is right over there and not budging for a while.” 

It was a weirdly peaceful hour, just lifting stuff up for Ivy whilst she organised up a ladder. She matter-of-factly pointed out which symbols he should be looking for when the titles shifted out of English which he appreciated. He wouldn’t say it was relaxing but it was rather nice. It was quiet without being cloying, there was no need to fill the room with noise like he usually did to cover any silence, there was enough to listen to. He could hear the turns of pages and little gasps from Lily along the row where he could still keep an eye on her and the humming coming from Ivy as she worked above. Huh, there was a worse way to spend time he supposed.

That was how Lily found them once she’d finished the chapters she was reading, her stomach had begun to rumble and she’d realised she’d been on her own for a while without Jonny or anyone else chatting around her. She didn’t like not being able to hear the general chatter of people, even it if was just someone singing. Being alone was bad. Very bad.

“What are you doing?”

“Reordering the shelves.” Explained Ivy from her vantage point, replacing the last of the displaced books.

“Oh,” Lily immediately looked interested, “Can I help?”

“We’re finished with this section,” Ivy spotted the disappointment on the child’s face so quickly added,“but next time you can. Did you find something to read you liked?”

“Yes! It’s a book about a girl who lives in a hot country that she doesn’t like very much and her Mummy and Daddy don’t really like her but then they die from something called cholera and she has to go and live with her uncle in a big house in a very cold wet country and she’s very rude but she makes friends with a bird called a Robin and she’s trying to find something called a garden that’s been locked up and hidden.”

Lily finished her explanation by closing the distance between herself and Jonny and wrapped her arms around him. “Thank you for being so nice, the people who came to look after Mary weren’t very nice or kind at all.” She pressed her face into his side.

Jonny threw a panicked look up to Ivy who was still on the ladder. Ivy sent back a mirroring look. She had no idea what to in this situation, Jonny was actually 63% more likely to handle this better than she was. Ivy had no idea what to do with an admission like that except offer a puzzled, ‘you’re welcome?’

Jonny glared, trying to demand help with his eyebrows.

Ivy shook her head, Jonny was going to have to deal with this on his own. She folded her arms for good measure and glared right back.

Jonny huffed, rolled his eyes then steeled himself to deal with this.

“Er, you’re welcome,” he began, Ivy was about to roll her eyes but he continued, “but it sounds like Mary isn’t the nicest kid to be around either, you make it easy to be nice to.” He patted her head gently for emphasis.

Ivy couldn’t help her eyes widening, in her many estimations of how Jonny was likely to handle this latest interaction she was not expecting him to have actually listened to Lily’s literary summary and then use it in context to reassure and compliment Lily. Ivy was well aware Lily had an 72% likelihood of improving Jonny’s general conduct over time given how he’d responded initially to her but she was not expecting him to adapt so quickly. This was going to be very interesting as a long term study.

Lily pulled back and grinned up at him before switching her attention to Ivy, “May I please come back and read some more later?”

It was Ivy’s turn to be surprised, she’d heard more ‘pleases and thank yous’ in the last two days than she had in the last two centuries.

“Er, yes, yes you can so long as you come when I’m here and you have clean hands.”

Lily smiled happily at the permission. “How will I know you’re here?”

“Come to the door and call for me if you can’t see me.”

“Okay! Thank you!” Lily turned her attention back to Jonny, “Can we have lunch now please?”

“Lunch?” He was about to comment that they’d had breakfast not long ago but stopped himself, it was probably several hours ago really and Raphaella had said about her needing to eat regularly. “Okay, sure, er,” he tried to think of something else to say, was he supposed to do something responsible or what? Ah fuck it, he’ll make something up as he goes, it’s what he usually did when he wasn’t telling one of their stories to a wild and rapt crowd. “Right, well, um, see you later Ivy, er thanks,” he added as an afterthought, before shifting back to Lily, “c’mon Lily, think you can remember the way to the mess?”

“I think so! Bye Ivy!” The Archivist only escaped the apparent customary hug by dint of being up a ladder, instead Lily blew a kiss to her and waved before taking Jonny’s hand confidently.

“Right then, show me where we’re going.” Jonny gave Ivy a wave of his own, half mocking, half genuine thanks.

“It’s this way!”

They disappeared out of the door and out of sight.

Well.

The ease at which the two of them interacted was honestly stunning. Ivy had never seen Jonny take so quickly to change in the 467 years she’d known him. It was surprising but oddly pleasant. She found when reviewing the previous hour and all the exchanges that had taken place she had been pleased to be included. Jonny may not be confident in what he was doing but at present it was clearly enough. He’d actually made for helpful and even pleasant company which had been astonishing. Normally he was too loud and brash for her to accept for long but this had been within her limits. Lily’s extrapolation of the Secret Garden was very revealing. It was something they would all have to be aware of, she was feeling extremely vulnerable which was hardly surprising but it seemed that Lily had just become aware of how unpleasant things could be made for her if the crew decided to not be as welcoming. Hmm, it was something she’d raise with the others.

In the meantime, it had felt nice to be so included and shown affection so easily.

Ivy descended the ladder to check on the state of the bookshelf she’d left Lily in front of.

The Secret Garden had been replaced carefully exactly where it belonged.

Ivy found herself smiling.

Lily would be very welcome to return for another reading session.

***

Lunch had been thankfully easy affair. Marius had had the presence of mind to make bread that morning whilst pancakes were happening so Jonny could at least navigate sandwiches with Lily. She’d demanded to be able to cut the bread to prove she could use a knife and against any form of judgement better or otherwise Jonny had allowed it. It was good to figure out what skills she had already at least.

She’d actually done a decent job, Jonny had found and sliced up something he hoped was cheese and cracked open an actual milk carton.

Lily had been thrilled at having ‘real milk’ and Jonny found himself getting more and more annoyed at the piss-poor resource management that was apparently part of the course on her ship. He should probably commend Ashes and Nastya for keeping them so maintained.

Nastya. Fuck, he was supposed to go and check on her.

But that was something he couldn’t do with Lily in tow, he was aware enough that having Lily with him would have Nastya shutting down. She didn’t share thoughts and emotions easily, he could only drag them out of her because he’d been there at the start, he’d seen the ruins of the palace and he’d been the one to try and keep her out of Carmilla’s clutches at every turn.

No, he’d have to find someone to leave Lily with and, remembering what Ashes had said the day before he was going to have to be nice about it. Fuck.

“So what’s the plan for this afternoon?” he asked as casually as he could.

“Plan?”

“What do you want to do?” he elaborated.

“Raphaella said she’d show me flying.”

Thank Fuck. He’d forgotten that was also on the cards today.

“Okay, we can do that, I can take you to her lab. But first, Lily, I need to ask you a favour.”

“A favour?” That was important, Jonny thought she was a big girl because only sensible people could do favours. She puffed out her chest in pride.

“Of course Jonny.”

Jonny watched in quiet surprise, she seemed to grow in front of him, looking serious and composed. That was something he was going to have to remember, favours are something she takes seriously. Good.

“Right, well, when I take you to Raphaella’s lab, I need you to stay with her whilst I go and talk to Nastya.”

“Oh. Why can’t I come? Does Nastya not like me?” The child crumpled a little at the thought.

“What?” Jonny was genuinely taken aback, “Of course she likes you.” Nastya had been the one to sway the rest of the crew into deciding to keep her. He didn’t say that out loud. Despite what some people thought he did have some tact, he just didn’t bother employing it all that often.

“Then why can’t I come?”

Fuck, he didn’t really want to explain, that was Nastya’s business but Lily looked like she was about to disintegrate.

He decided to risk it, “Okay, can you keep a secret?”

“Yes!” Lily immediately perked up.

Jonny leaned in conspiratorially, “Right, between you and me, Nastya’s been upset,” He decided to head the inevitable wrong conclusion she’d draw from this information right at the pass, “it’s absolutely nothing to do with you or anything you’ve done,” he added for clarification, since Lily seemed to think any and all upset of the crew had come from her somehow. It was on his growing list to deal with later. “Sometimes Nastya just gets sad but she doesn’t like to show it. If lots of people go to her and ask her what’s wrong she just stays quiet. But if one person goes then she might tell me what’s wrong. Do you understand?”

Lily puzzled. It was something alien to her, if she was upset she wanted hugs and cuddles and to be told everything would be alright. The idea of not sharing was so strange.

“Doesn’t she just need a hug?”

Not for the first time did Jonny feel utterly and thoroughly out of his depth, he couldn’t remember a point when he ever thought that a hug would fix anything.

He wanted to say, ‘It’s a bit more complicated than that, Nastya’s got long standing issues that a quick or even a long hug won’t even start to fix.’ But that was a stupid approach even for him.

“Nastya doesn’t really like hugs.” Was what he actually came up with. Fuck.

“Oh.” Lily thought about it, Nastya had felt the least comfortable hugging her the night before. That made sense. “Do you have to do grown-up talking?”

Jonny seized on that as an out, even if he’d never really thought of himself or any of the crew as actual responsible adults. Because they weren’t. Responsible at least. But he could use this as an actual legitimate reason to leave Lily behind.

“Yes, it’s grown up talking. Can you be brave and fly with Raph while I go look after Nastya?”

Jonny watched the now familiar look of steel take over Lily’s face, kid had some serious strength at her core. It reassured him a little that she had that, it was most likely what kept her going on board her own ship and what was probably keeping her vaguely stable here. That was something else he was worried about. Lily was being way too calm and happy for what she’d been through. Even he was aware you didn’t just bounce back from something like that even if you were a kid. No, there was a storm brewing in her. There had to be.

He’d seen her shoot, watched her face carefully, there was a coldness to it when she aimed. Jonny knew exactly what was in her mind in that moment. He knew that look. That kid was imagining the murderers of her people. He’d be doing the same. The kid wanted revenge. She might not know how to articulate it well right now but it was clearly going to come up sooner rather than later and Jonny found that that was something he didn’t want her to seek just yet. She was so young and killing changed you.

He should know.

Thing was, he had no idea how to head that off at the pass. He was only articulate when telling stories they’d all written. This? This was a _conversation_. A conversation with no plot to follow and no telling where it’d end up. And he had no faith in himself that he’d steer it right. Steer it out of vengeance and danger. Not to be dramatic (apart from the fact that Jonny was dramatic as all hell and proud of it) but this might be something that put Lily’s soul at stake and he was terrified of that idea.

He could not fuck this up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Extra thanks to Tricksterkat209 for all the comments and encouragements shared after you tracked me down on Tumblr and for the MAGNIFICENT fanart she's created of Lily you can see here; https://tricksterkat209.tumblr.com/post/620655751151714304/muddyhippys-writing-is-excellent-and-lily-is-too
> 
> There is a shameless use of my own favourite childhood book in this chapter, I am not sorry! 
> 
> Thank you again to everyone who has commented and kudos'd this week has been a rather tough one and I really appreciate all of you taking the time to read and comment! I hope everyone is staying safe and well, the next chapter might take a little longer, because it's shaping up to be a beast! 
> 
> Please let me know what you think of this one!


	9. Of flight, conversations and negotiations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flying lessons are had, conversations are sought, dinner is eaten and negotiations take place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter! Hurrah! 
> 
> Finally we reach the flying lessons and Jonny manages to find Nastya for a rather long overdue conversation. 
> 
> Thanks again to everyone reading this, I really appreciate it and there's a longer note at the end.

The journey to Raph’s lab was fairly uneventful, Jonny was getting far too used to having a small child swinging off his hand chattering happily to him about anything that came into her head. It was weirdly nice, half of it was comments from what she’d seen and done so far that day and the other half were questions about literally everything. He had no idea why she thought he’d know the answers but he tried his best to be informative.

Apart from telling her their milk came from space cows. Because what was the point in having a kid that believed everything you said without at least one little lie to gently tease with? She’d learn sooner rather than later that they were all liars and cheaters so he might as well start her off with something small.

As they got to the door Jonny stopped, the trepidation that had been building taking centre stage. He dropped to his knee to look Lily directly in the eye, trying to get across how important what he was about to say to her was, “Right, whenever you come to Raph’s lab you have to knock and say who you are, you can’t ever just go running in there, no matter how excited you are or if Raph said you could see her. Do you understand me?”

Jonny was suddenly being very serious. “Why?” The question was asking both for his manner and the content, it made Lily nervous.

“Because,” Word bubbled and frothed in Jonny’s brain, he wanted to say, ‘because Raphaella is fucking nuts for science and you never know what the fuck she’d be working on, plague, nanobots, a dark sun just for the hell of it, you never know apart from the fact it will DEFINITELY kill you and I don’t want that. At all.’

That might be a bit too much. He could hear Brian frowning at him from here. Well, he could usually hear Brian frowning at him but on this occasion he bothered to listen since he had a point.

“Because” he began again out loud, trying to convey his genuine, actual worry without panicking her, she had to know the risks because he couldn’t trust that Raph would remember just how fragile Lily was and the idea of something happening to the child made his guts twist. “Some of Raphaella’s experiments are very dangerous and she might be in the middle of one when you come to visit. So you knock, and you say who you are and you wait for her to open her door. You might get hurt if you just run in or,” he got a spark of inspiration, “you might accidentally damage or break something she’s been working on for a long a time and that would be rude. Understand?” He had no shame in playing into Lily’s reticence to damage anything of theirs if it kept her safe.

Oh, Lily absorbed what Jonny had said, that made sense, she might get hurt OR break something of Raphaella’s she definitely didn’t want to do that, “Yes Jonny.” She agreed immediately.

“Good girl,” He grinned before another though crossed his mind and he added for good measure, “also, never touch anything in Raph’s lab,” Lily opened her mouth to argue, “No,” he cut her off with the shake of his head, “just don’t, it will be dangerous.”

Lily nodded, accepting that Jonny didn’t want her to get hurt, it was obviously important to him and that was nice. It made her feel safe. “Okay, I promise.”

His smile carried far more relief in it than he would have liked. He ruffled her hair for levity, partly to reassure her and partly to distract himself and cleared his throat, “So, want to show me how you knock?”

The child rapped on the door, “Raphaella! It’s Lily and Jonny come to see you! You promised we could fly!”

The muffled noises from inside the lab stopped.

There was a pause before sudden amount of scrabbling erupted behind the door.

Lily looked up to Jonny question clear on her face, Jonny shrugged in return and shook his head. He had no idea what Raphaella was up to and so long as it didn’t explode, engulf or eviscerate and kill Lily he didn’t care.

After a few more suspicious noises there was an approach of rapid footsteps before the door to the lab opened.

Raphaella stood before them, lit by the glow from one of her many experiments behind her she looked truly angelic.

“Wow.” Lily spoke for both of them.

Raphaella gave them both a greeting nod, “Good, I thought it was your voice calling through the door, well done for knocking and announcing yourself, I like to know who is visiting me.”

“Jonny told me to, he said it was important I did that instead of just coming in, in case I broke one of your experiments.”

Raphaella flicked her eyes to Jonny for confirmation who gave a dismissive shrug this time trying to look nonchalant, which, the science officer knew from experience meant that he absolutely had done whatever he’d been accused of but it was a nice and thoughtful thing that he absolutely did not want to be associated with. His usual idiocy then.

“And what brings the pair of you here?”

“You said you’d show me flying today, please?” Lily began then started to waiver under the science officer’s gaze and finished on a tentative question.

Raphaella gave a smile that was entirely too much teeth, “I did didn’t I?”

“You did!” Lily blossomed with renewed confidence at the confirmation, “Can we still fly please?”

“Of course we can, I’d like to show you round the lab first if you’d like? So you’ll know what we’re looking at when we fly over it.”

Lily made a yipping trilling noise that seemed entirely involuntary which threw both adults for a loop, exchanging ‘what the hell was that?!’ looks before mentally adding it to the ‘One of Lily’s happy noises’ list.

Lily began to fizz again. Jonny maintained a firm but gentle grip on her hand as they made their way around the lab, Jonny shooting Raphaella various ‘please-do-not-expose-this-child-to-fatal-chemicials-or-so-help-me’ looks which she decided to wholeheartedly ignore.

Once the tour was over and Lily had obligingly not touched anything Jonny turned to face Raph. “Listen, I’ve got to do something so can you show Lily how to fly while I go do that?”

Raphaella raised an eyebrow and opened her mouth to protest.

“Nastya needs Jonny’s help and I’m too little to help.” Piped up a small voice.

Both Mechanisms gaped at her.

Lily was the picture of innocence.

Raphaella knew that she was lying, it wasn’t hard, this child was not born to lie, it fell clunky and rough to trained ears but to regular mortals? That would have probably worked. Raphaella felt oddly proud of her, she was obviously trying to cover for Jonny dealing with Nastya’s upset. The science officer had eyes and it was obvious Lily’s ship had upset the engineer but she was harder to engage with than Jonny most of the time.

She appreciated that Lily had tried to cover for both of them, Jonny must have had what he was actually planning to do (which was highly likely to be ‘go check that Nastya isn’t going to sulk for the next four years’) dragged out of him by Lily and she didn’t want to betray that trust. It was rather sweet if you liked loyalty.

Which, if she was honest, did have its uses.

She decided to play along.

“Well you best not hold Nastya up Jonny, you know how precise she likes to be.”

Shock crossed Jonny’s face, clearly surprised Raphaella wasn’t going to give him shit for fussing over Nastya, nor that Lily had obviously tried to cover for him. It was honestly quite sweet that she wanted to hold true to the ‘just between you and me’ deal but the kid was not a liar in the slightest. But still, it was an opportunity and he was going to take it.

He schooled his expression back to nonchalant indifference.

The science officer rolled her eyes.

Jonny ignored her to focus on Lily, for all she talked a game (they’d have to practice actually lying if she wanted to talk a _good_ game and convince seasoned experienced yarn spinners like the Mechanisms) Lily was still clearly nervous. This was the longest period she’d been separated from him.

He had a sudden stab of regret, he should have given her back to Tim, bastard had been really annoyingly good with her that morning. Or Marius. Hell maybe he should just about turn and give her to Brian because at least Brian would—

“I’ll see you later Jonny.” Lily stepped forwards, wrapped her arms around him and took the decision out of his hands. In honest-to-brass shock he dropped to his knees instinctively and hugged her properly, he could feel the tremble in her arms but she pulled back and stared resolutely at him.

Jonny felt with the clarity of a sledgehammer that he had under estimated the courage in this kid. She obviously didn’t want him to go but she was giving him permission to leave her behind to look after the other person he was worried about.

“Alright then,” he began as she kissed his cheek before letting go, “right, I won’t be long,” he turned back to Raph, clearing his throat awkwardly, “nothing dangerous, no additions to her, and definitely nothing with _permanent_ consequences.”

Raphaella rolled her eyes, “Go, we’ll be fine won’t we Lily?”

Lily crossed carefully over to Raphaella and offered a respectfully cautious hand to the science officer who didn’t hesitate to take it easily.

“Of course we will! See you soon Jonny!” Lily blew him a kiss to seal the deal, Jonny nodded not quite trusting himself to speak and fighting down the urge to just pick her back up and take her to someone else. They would be fine. Raph sorted Lily in the whole showering episode. She would be fine with her. They would be fine. Lily would be fine.

He turned on his heel and left.

The second the first mate was out the door Raphaella turned to Lily, a bright smile her face, “So, what do you know about flying already?”

Lily lit up, babbling happily to Raphaella all about a fact book she’d read that detailed all about the birds from her homeworld, how she’d never seen them for real but the pictures had been very good.

Raphaella listened diligently before demonstrating some of her different feathers and what they were supposed to do and what they were for. Lily was fascinated.

Then she put those feathers into action, picking up Lily easily, telling her to hold on tightly whilst Raphaella began to perform each different wing and feather formation, Lily whooped with excitement quickly picking up which movement achieved what.

Within an hour Lily was allowed to start calling different movement in order to direct Raphaella’s flight. It was exhilarating.

Raphaella was successfully putting together her first in-depth study for how Lily learned and developed her knowledge. It was fascinating.

***

“Nastya?” Jonny called into the vents. He’d made it into a deeper section of Aurora, far away from the regular corridors, no one except Nastya really bothered with these levels unless they were actively trying hide from someone else due to pranks or murder.

Usually both.

Nastya, if not immediately present and the Aurora was _not_ making a very specific set of noises that Jonny both was grateful he knew and remained personally offended that he knew then she was most likely to be sulking in the vents, or, more likely this time, hiding.

She always retreated to the vents when things were getting to her.

Nothing.

“Nastya?” He tried again, trying to get across he was not fucking around.

Still nothing.

He sighed, “I’m not going to fuck off until you talk to me.”

“I’m busy Jonny.” Came the curt reply from the depths of the vents.

Jonny rolled his eyes, utterly unimpressed, “You are always busy, don’t make me climb in there.”

“You couldn’t fit.” She snarked.

Jonny growled, “Yes I can. I could then and I can now. We don’t age _remember_.”

Nastya glowered at him through the grille, withholding the comment that he wore a lot more belts and weaponry now.

“I will sing at you.” He threatened.

“I’ll shoot you.” She snapped right back.

“Like that’ll stop me.” Jonny smirked before hastily ducking a shot. Clearly meant as a warning, Nastya didn’t miss.

He glared at the grille for a solid minute before he sighed and allowed himself to slide down the wall so that he was sitting almost below her favourite hiding spot. “Look, I just wanted to talk, Lily’s ship was a lot.” The ‘ _I came to check on you because I’m worried that has sent you into a particularly dark place and Aurora might not be enough to make you feel better and I don’t want you to cut yourself off from the rest of us for the next few years’_ went unsaid but was heard loud and clear. “It’s not like we’re strangers to corpses but old ones? Give me a fresh battlefield any day.”

He let that sink in, let what he was saying actually take root and give Nastya a chance to respond to that if she wanted too.

Nothing. This would probably take a while, plan B then.

He dropped his voice, allowing himself to sound as concerned as he felt, this was Nastya he was talking to, she knew all of his tones, there was no point in hiding it. It might draw her out too, she was often more willing to talk about other things first if she was upset. Fair’s fair he supposed, he’d share first, he had wanted to talk to her anyway about this, “I, I don’t know what I’m doing with Lily, she’s decided I’m this sure-fire safe thing for her to cling to but I’m _not_ , I’m not safe, or good or right to be around and she’s gonna figure that out sooner rather than later but in the meantime I don’t want to fuck her up, she’s gonna have questions about what happened, she’s a smart kid, she’s going to question why her people her killed and I have no idea what to say to her.”

There was movement above him, a rustle and then Nastya appeared beside him.

“You’re an idiot.”

“Fuck you!”

“I’m sorry, I meant to say you’re a dramatic idiot.”

His temper flared, angry that his confession was being mocked, “Fine, if this is how you’re gonna be—”

A staying hand landed lightly on his arm, “Jonny, you’re taking this too literally.”

Jonny stilled, Nastya didn’t often initiate contact, “I, what?”

“You don’t have to be some sort of ideal to have someone trust you. Just prove yourself to them. Which you have.”

“I,” He huffed, “bullshit have I.”

“Jonny, I know you struggle with being a person most of the time but please believe me when I say that even you are not that stupid.”

“Nastya—”

“I am being serious, Lily needs comfort and reassurance, which you’ve provided instinctively and consistently. I am assuming she knows where you are right now?”

“Yes, she’s with Raph right now having some sort of flying lesson, under the understanding Lily does not get wings of any kind attached to her. Lily knows I was coming to talk to you and I’d come back soon.”

“And she accepted that?”

“Yes,” he smirked evilly, “especially when I told her you were sad.”

“You what?!” She looked utterly horrified.

“See? I am not above emotionally blackmailing a small child. That is some bad looking-after right there!”

“Fucks sake Jonny, now I have to deal with a small child throwing affection at me.”

“You get used to it.” He paused, letting the words sink in. Realising that he really had got used to it. “Shit.”

“Exactly.” Nastya softened her voice in fond exasperation, “Jonny, you’re not actually horrible at this. There’s nothing I can say that will convince you, nor will anything else. But it’s true. If what I have read about guardians that actually care is accurate then you will never stop worrying.”

“Fuck.”

“Quite. But the point stands.”

“But she’s going to need things isn’t she? Proper discussions about emotions and other messy shit. Brian’s right, she’s young enough to need guidance on things. Like how to be a functional person. Shooting stuff that pisses you off is probably not the way to go with that.”

“Jonny, there are eight other people you live with that will help with that.”

“Seven,” He corrected immediately, “the Toy Soldier does not get to give advice.”

“It will anyway.”

“Fucking thing.” 

“But think about it Jonny, this isn’t just on you. You might be the first port of call but you’re not on your own with this.” 

He closed his eyes, letting his head drop heavily against the wall for a moment before looking back up again, “I, I know, I do, I’ve handed her over today alright (now was not the time to share his panic in the lab). It’s just, I, I, fuck it, I’m _scared.”_ He refused to meet Nastya’s gaze _, “_ I’m fucking scared that I’ll say the wrong thing and she’ll take it to heart and it’ll fuck her up beyond fixing”

“Like what?”

“Like what happened to her people, that it was random violence, it didn’t mean anything because the universe is cold and unfeeling and shit just happens to people, regardless of whether they were innocent or ‘deserved’ it. The universe doesn’t care, there’s no cosmic balance it’s just violence and injustice and all you can do to just carve out a bit of something and fight off all the fuckers that would take it from you.”

“Well, I wouldn’t put it like that.”

“Exactly!” the exasperation was rolling off him like his usual cigarette smoke, “I don’t know the right things to say.”

“Also, that’s not entirely true.”

“Yes it is.”

“No, there’s some good things we’ve seen.”

“Like Ulysses dying a true death? Briar Rose and Cinders? Having some sort of snatch at what their lives could have been, on the run and in a ruined system? What else? I don’t think a bittersweet ending works on an 8 year old!”

Nastya sighed, he was impossible when he was like this but on the plus side he actually did want help since he’d not shot her yet so he was doing better than her. “Alright fine, but your point about carving something out for yourself isn’t a bad thing, we’ve seen a lot of decent communities working together on good things that we haven’t rampaged through”

“No? What about when she talks about vengeance? When she wants to go murder the fuck out of the assholes that killed her people. I’d be a big fucking hypocrite if I said no, don’t do it!”

Nastya paused, considering. She eyed him shrewdly, “Actually Jonny, you’d not be that much of a hypocrite.”

“Yes I would!”

“No, aside from Jack, Carmilla and the gang that stole Tim when we were on Hegrafess that time. You’re not actually that vengeful, you kill people when you’re pissed off, they’ve pissed you off or you’re bored.”

Jonny thought about it, she kind of had a point but that still didn’t help, “I think that’s worse. Plus, Tim’s never forgiven me for that.”

“Have you never thought about your particular motivations on that one?”

Jonny stared at her blankly, “What?”

Nastya rolled her eyes at her idiot of an adopted brother, “Of course you haven’t. Look Jonny, whenever you’ve killed with vengeance in mind, it’s been because you care, you killed Carmilla for us, for me—”

“Shoulda’ done it years before.” He huffed not meeting her steady gaze.

“It doesn’t matter, you still did. You did it to protect us, to try to save any more from becoming like us, to stop her hurting us and protect any future others from her. And you went in six shooter blazing the second you heard what had happened to Tim. You’d murdered the room before the auction could even start.”

Jonny huffed dismissively, “Well, no one but the crew gets to mess with the crew. Simple as.”

“Just so.”

Jonny banged his head backwards against the wall in frustration, “That doesn’t help Nastya, she’s still going to want to go after them.”

“Why are you so sure?”

He pulled his goggles off running an agitated hand through his already wild hair, “Because kids who are good and kind expect the world to be a certain way and when it’s not they go nuclear to ‘fix it’ the way they think it _should_ be.” Nastya decided against drawing attention to the fact that Jonny apparently inherently knew how a ‘good and kind’ kid thought. There were clearly only so many revelations he could deal with in one day. “Lily is a good, decent kid.” Carried on regardless of Nastya’s knowing look, “Tell me she’s not going to go ballistic to avenge her parents!” he paused then carried on when she didn’t say anything, “See! You can’t! I saw her face when we were doing shooting practice with Tim, she knew what she was picturing when she shot the target.”

The engineer decided to play along, “Alright but why is vengeance the only option?”

That pulled him up short, “What?”

“Why would seeking vengeance be her only option?”

“Because that’s what she’ll want, it’s what she _does_ want”

“Only if you don’t give her other options. How old were you when you killed Jack?”

“Twenty-seven.”

“Bullshit were you.”

“I was!” He defended, all usual fire and bluster.

“Jonny, you were _twenty_ at most.”

His faced flushed at the truth of her words, he hated that he was still so physically young, even fucking _Tim_ was technically physically older than him. It really didn’t help the whole captain’s authority thing. Being Captain was safe, meant you were in charge, no one could do anything to you. Being young was bad, people tried to take advantage, people _did_ take advantage. He didn’t want that again. And never for Lily. “Fuck off, just because you’ve seen the records, I’m still older that you _princess_.”

Nastya refused to rise to the jibe, it would be counter-productive, “Only just. But my point is, twenty is a lot older than eight, you were old enough to make that choice for yourself. You knew the options, scant as they were. She doesn’t.”

“So what, I give her different ones? Like what? I know how to drink, kill and sing. That’s it.”

“I think you underestimate the skillset you have and that possessed by the rest of the crew.”

Jonny looked non-plussed for a moment, Nastya could see him mentally checking off several of the less child-friendly traits as she watched.

“I mean,” The engineer elaborated, “if she wants vengeance then she’ll need to learn things, like target-shooting, weapons handling and maintenance, hand to hand combat. And if she wants to track them down she’ll need piloting and ship management skills. How to stock and supply a ship and be able to read star charts-I could go on. But there’s also music, she could learn to sing, read and write music, tell stories, play any number of instruments. Ivy, I’m sure, could find a way to allow Lily to learn multiple languages if she wanted to. Raphaella may make a scientist out of her, she might learn to be an _actual_ doctor. There’s never only one path to take, the one thing I have come to understand from this life of ours is that learning something is always useful. She has the chance to learn a great many things with us, how she chooses to use that knowledge and those skills will be up to her.”

None of that had occurred to Jonny, these, these were some good ideas. Very good ideas. There was an unusual feeling in his chest that took him far too long to recognise. “I-fine, okay, I suppose.” He shifted, looking awkward, the way he always did when he meant to share a genuine emotion, “Thanks Nastya, I, thanks.”

“You’re welcome Jonny.”

He gave her his rare, real, soft smile. The one he saved especially for her, “Do you need, do you want to jam? We’ve not played together as just us for a while?”

Nastya smiled before resting her head on his shoulder, she knew exactly what he was asking, was offering in his own way, comfort. A moment to process what she’d seen on board. What had stirred in the depths of her mind. “You need to get going back to Lily.”

“I could stay a while.” He meant it too. Nastya was honestly touched, she could feel the fizzing energy under his skin, he was itching to get back to Lily but he would stay. And stay as long as she needed if she asked. This was one of the reasons Nastya tolerated the rest of Jonny’s bullshit. Underneath it all, he really did care.

“No, I’m, I’m alright Jonny, really. It was unexpected but it’ll pass. I’d not thought on the palace for so long but it’s always there, ready to remind me when I least have reason to regard it but, no, it was an inconvenience nothing more. Those ghosts are now only like morning mist, disappearing if you look too hard. I’ll be fine.”

Jonny brushed his head against hers, a familiar gesture, one that spoke of thousands of moments shared like this, quiet solidarity against the cosmos. They would play music together when they needed to drown out everything else. But today, whilst unpleasant was not soul breaking. Very little could really touch her anymore. It had been a shock but one she would recover fully from it in a day or two.

She appreciated that he cared so much though.

It was something that had always bound them together.

And it was why, against all the laws of probability it was something she was less worried about than she could be, because underneath it all, Lily had done well in her choice of guardian. The others would be able to take the strain too and between them all, if they were careful enough might pull this off properly.

He drummed his fingers on her knee, a half tune, slowed down, the song of Briar Rose. It had become something of a little ritual between them. Their rescue of Briar Rose had been something both of them had enjoyed immensely and, details of Nastya’s relationship not-withstanding because what sibling would want to hear _any_ details like that? It had been a satisfying excursion for them both, revelling a little in the pure freedom of being able to do just what they wanted, together, without Carmilla’s shadow awaiting them.

“I, you get all the parts you needed?” She heard what he said underneath, _“I’m worried about you, I want you to be alright and have what you need to be okay.”_

“I did. And some spares that will make themselves useful later. I was consulting with Aurora when you interrupted me.”

“Pfft, well if you don’t want visits from your Captain.”

Nastya didn’t miss a beat, “First Mate. And no, I don’t, that was why I was working on Aurora. Away from you.”

There was no actual bite in her words.

Jonny stuck his tongue out at her.

Nastya returned the gesture.

They both broke into identical smirks, Nastya gently butting her head against Jonny’s.

“I’ve got what I need and I have Aurora too, I’m alright, you’ve got a child to rescue from the science officer.”

“Yes I do.”

“Off you go then, you’ve bothered me enough.”

“I’ve never bothered you enough.”

“Fuck off Jonny.”

He flashed her one of his rare genuine smiles before picking himself off the floor and headed off back to find a hopefully intact Lily with the sense of things being slightly better balanced.

***

“Jonny!” Jonny braced himself to be engulfed by a tiny child. A tiny child that was fully intact, wingless and clearly very happy. Thank fuck for that. Worry that he hadn’t really registered he’d carried with him on top of everything else melted away.

Lily took a full running leap at the first mate, plastering herself all over him like a particularly affectionate octokitten. Jonny suddenly saw why Tim liked the things so much, this was nice. Someone being excited to see him. 

He wasn’t sure when this had become commonplace because it had been barely twenty-four hours in space time if he’d bothered to pay attention but it was like Lily had always been there.

His arms wrapped around her automatically and held her close, “Hello Lemondrop, have a good flying lesson?”

The pet name left his lips before he’d even registered it.

“Is that another sweet?”

“Er,” Raphaella’s face split into a beatific smile, eyes full of gleeful knowledge. The entire crew would know within the hour. Jonny dearly wished he could shoot her but that would absolutely devastate Lily and he was hoping to last at least one more day before she realised what a horrible monster he was and latched onto someone else.

Fuck it, in for a penny as his mother used to say.

He committed entirely, “Yes, it’s a boiled sweet I liked when I was your age.”

“Was it nice?”

“Definitely, it was sweet but hard, it could break your teeth if you bit but it was my favourite.”

He risked a look at Raphaella, whose face had softened for a moment, clearly trying to picture him as a little boy with a broken baby tooth.

Given his arms were around Lily he could get away with flipping the science officer off without the child noticing. 

Raphaella stuck her tongue out at him, clearly enjoying this moment far too much.

Jonny decided to abort this conversation track and refocus his attention back onto Lily.

“Did you have a good time?”

“Yes! Raphaella can fly really well! She’s really strong too! She carried me and we flew around the top of the lab! I learned how feathers work! It was so cool! And she can swoop!”

“Oh really?”

“Yes! It’s was so much fun! Raphaella’s so clever! She showed me her lab, she has so many experiments!”

Jonny raised a questioning eyebrow at the science officer.

“Lily will make an excellent assistant with my less _permanent_ experiments. She’s got the right inquisitive approach and enquiring mind.”

“I like helping!” Lily chirped.

“Erm, good?”

Lily beamed at him, planted a happy kiss on his cheek before turning back to Raphaella, clearly now very comfortable around her, “Can we show Jonny the flying? Please?”

“Alright, you’ve been a good co-pilot but only one because it’s getting near dinner time.”

Jonny was struck by just how discordant that sounded, it was possibly the most domestic thing he’d ever heard Raph say. For one wild second she sounded like a parent. Some of the crew were definitely adjusting and adjusting well to this whole situation far quicker than he expected.

Lily climbed down whilst Jonny was still processing. She happily bounded back over to Raphaella who scooped her up easily. “Hold tight!” Raphaella launched upwards, soaring confidently up to the ceiling.

Jonny, apparently defying all the laws of biological science and his own coding, felt his mechanical heart in his throat. Worry flooded him once again, he hadn’t actually thought about what it would look like to watch them fly. It was so much worse in real life than what he’d worried about before. What if Raph dropped her? What if she fell? What if they couldn’t fix her if she did fall?

All of this was alien, he’d never cared when anyone did anything remotely dangerous, it was a waste of time. If anyone did something stupid enough to get themselves killed it didn’t matter. They’d be back and breathing before long.

Now though?

Now Jonny was suddenly terrified.

It was a very unwelcome feeling.

Lily meanwhile was having the time of her life, whooping and cawing and cheering as Raphaella (carefully) flapped confidently around the top of the lab. And if the science officer was enjoying the pale terror on Jonny’s face that he was utterly failing to hide? If she was adding a few unnecessary swoops just to scare him and delight Lily? Well, that was something she’d share with the others later. She had Lily and there was no danger of dropping her, the child barely weighed more than Better Marius, one of Tim’s bigger Octokittens. That was a point. Dinner. Lily definitely needed feeding regularly and nutritiously.

With a graceful final swoop Raphaella landed light-footed passing a thrilled Lily back to a Jonny whose breathing had definitely picked up its pace, she could hear the ticking of his chest from here. Excellent. It was always fun to wind him up and now she had longer to savour it whilst there was an unofficial no-murder rule in place.

“Did you see Jonny?! Did you see?!” Lily was fizzing with excitement once again.

Jonny recovered himself enough to cover his fear and racing pulse, “Yes, Yes I did. Good flying there, good holding on tight too.” He added with extra emphasis.

“Can we go again, please?” She asked Raphaella

“Not today, we’ve got dinner to eat.”

“Aww, please?”

Raphaella was about to refuse before getting an idea, she flicked her eyes to Jonny.

“Ask Jonny.”

Lily turned towards Jonny, her eyes having apparently tripled in size.

“Please Jonny?”

Jonny realised exactly what Raphaella was doing, making him the bad guy. Well he’d show her. But, watching Lily fly was actually terrifying and some vague tiny part of his brain was screaming that this was some sort of test, that he was supposed to set some sort of boundaries or at least not be a push over when a small child wanted something.

But, he could get one over on Raphaella.

And that was far more appealing.

“One more go then. After that dinner with no arguments.”

Lily crowed excitedly, “Yay! Thank you!”

The science officer raised a surprised eyebrow.

Jonny flashed his best shit-eating grin. 

Raphaella at least conceded graciously, she liked flying and it was nice to have company whilst she did so. And she could do her best to scare the shit out of Jonny to show him not to call her bluff.

Jonny braced himself for the all-encompassing fear, it was absolutely worth it, plus, he was a lot quicker than he looked, especially, it turned out, when Lily was involved. He was confident he’d be able to catch her if she fell.

***

They headed to the mess with all limbs intact and unbroken, Lily chattering happily between Jonny and Raphaella, swinging absently on their hands.

Marius and Brian had made a start on dinner, figuring it was getting late for a child at least and that food would most likely be appreciated. They turned at the sound of footsteps.

Marius nearly dropped his mixing bowl as Brian allowed a fond smile to spread all over his face.

Jonny and Raphaella strode in to the mess, swinging a cheering Lily between them.

They looked, in that moment, just like a pair of parents with their daughter. It was honestly one of the most weirdly wholesome moments involving those two either of them had ever witnessed.

Well this wasn’t affecting how the crew responded to each other. Not at all.

“Brian! Marius!” Lily called excitedly, “Can I help? What are we having for dinner? I’m hungry! I’ve been flying with Raphaella!”

“Have you now? That sounds exciting!” Marius knew well enough by now to put whatever he had in his hands down when Lily was in near proximity.

True to form, Lily launched herself across the room using the momentum of the last swing to propel her straight into Marius’ willing and waiting arms.

“We’ve done some baked potatoes but you can help us mix some fillings if you’d like?” Brian smiled at the excited child, pleased to see how much softness she brought out of his crew, he’d never seen the expressions that had graced both Jonny’s and Raphaella’s faces. Just honestly happy.

“Yes please!

“Great! We got cheese to grate, beans to heat and chili to stir.”

“What’s chili?”

Marius just beamed.

Lily ended up sandwiched between Brian and Marius, mixing and grating happily whilst the others drew slowly into the mess, following the smell of actual not-on-fire food. Even Nastya appeared.

For the second night running the Mechanisms sat down to dinner, Lily sat on Jonny’s lap and a civil conservation was had. That rapidly grew in volume and excitement as Lily recounted her day to those she hadn’t really seen (namely Ashes, Nastya and the Toy Soldier) Tim immediately launched into what a good shot she was and how she was a natural with the guns she’d tried whilst Raphaella told everyone how fearless she’d been whilst flying. Even Ivy commented on what a nice manner Lily had had with the books. Marius and Brian joined in with Tim about the shooting escapades, Raphaella and Ivy joining forces to playfully argue about the virtues of their days.

Ashes was smirking at the actual friendly banter taking place, amused that everyone seemed to have had a genuinely good time. They revelled in the stories and the ambience, softly reminded of long ago on a planet that had long since burned.

Nastya cast her eye over Jonny and Lily, both of them as animated as each other describing bits of their day.

It was honestly just pleasant to witness, Nastya was well aware of the social limits of the crew, but all together here, right now, it was like being with family. One of happenstance and long-bourne bonds but together and happy nonetheless. She smiled at the one she called brother, enjoying the evening as much as he did a good stage performance or excellent violence and if she thought he had more than a passing resemblance to a proud father, well, she kept that to herself. No need to panic him further.

Like the night before dinner merged into singing, the songs begun the night before were sung again, practiced, workshopped and shaped some more, everyone contributing, Lily even managing to join in with some of the choruses.

Jonny was paying more attention this time though.

At the first yawn, he squeezed her shoulder gently.

He spoke quiet, just enough for Lily to hear, “I think it might be time for bed.”

“Bed?” Lily puzzled at him, not quite connecting the dots through fuzzy thoughts.

“Your yawn just then made my jaw hurt in sympathy.” He explained, amused.

Her eyes widened for a moment before a frown cemented across her face, “I’m not tired, I want to keep singing.”

Jonny levelled a flat stare, he’d given ground on the flying but Lily was actually tired now and he might not know anything about kids but he was pretty sure they needed to sleep a lot more than adults, and definitely more than immortals.

Lily huffed and stared right back.

Oh it was on.

The two glared at each other for a full ten seconds before another yawn escaped Lily.

Jonny raised an eyebrow then grinned in triumph.

Lily pouted in defeat, letting her head butt against his chest.

“Don’t want to.” she complained in a muffled voice.

Jonny wasn’t entirely sure what to do but the others were currently still occupied and this felt like he needed to be delicate. He also wasn’t sure what had got into her, but she did probably need to sleep, in an actual bed and not scrunched up against him. Still, he should probably try to be gentle, hauling her off to bed was assuredly the wrong move to make.

Plus the rest of the crew would kill him if he upset her again. He didn’t want to upset her. And certainly not on purpose.

He dropped his voice further, figuring if she wasn’t going to head off on her own accord he probably needed to make a deal, that’s how you got people to do stuff they didn’t want to when you couldn’t threaten them with violence right? Worth a go at least, “if you go to bed now you can pick a room.” He offered aloud.

Lily perked up.

“A room?” A room meant staying.

“Yeah,” Jonny smiled, feeling relief that she seemed not to stick to sulking like Nastya could, “you can choose a bunk to sleep in.”

“That’s mine?”

“Sure, won’t make you share with anyone.”

Several emotions seemed to cross her face in an instant, too quick for him to pick out before she gave him a big smile and hugged against his chest properly.

“Okay.”

Great. One sort-of-crisis averted. Maybe? Jonny wasn’t sure what that was all about but she seemed to be alright for the moment so he was going to take the wins where he could.

Now they just had to find a room that wouldn’t kill her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone reading this, I wanted to get this done and out today because this marks 3 months and 100 days that I’ve been alone, isolating due to COVID19. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who’s left kudos and especially comments, I can’t tell you how much they’ve helped keep me sane. The touch starvation is real and this fic is as much a coping mechanism for me as Lily is a catalyst for the actual Mechanisms!
> 
> Thanks again for taking the time to read this, I hope you’re all staying safe and well!


	10. Bedtimes, Stories and Insight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily picks a bedroom, a bedtime story is told and a mildly panicked discussion is had

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jonny puts Lily to bed then against his better judgement decides to get some more advice...
> 
> Also, there are some mentions for poor coping strategies towards the end of the chapter so please be aware of the following; cw-suicidal intention mention (canon typical Jonny behaviour)  
> cw- Alcohol abuse mention (canon typical Jonny behaviour)  
> cw- smoking mention (canon typical Jonny behaviour)
> 
> I wanted to make sure there were some warnings in place, just in case I caught someone off-guard. Take care all.

Putting Lily to bed was definitely weird. Or rather, it would be weird if Jonny wasn’t so concerned about getting this right. One she’d agreed to go to bed it wasn’t too difficult, he understood the principles of getting her settled; put her in bed hope she went to sleep quickly.

He’d roped the others in to help, Ashes liked to keep the sleeping quarter allocations up to date and the Toy Soldier liked to be involved. The rest of them just enjoyed the novelty (and though they wouldn’t admit it, wanted to make sure they knew where she was supposed to be of a night in case of some sort of emergency). They’d managed to clear out a bunk near to Jonny’s room at Lily’s request.

Lily had quickly swallowed down her instinctive want to stay up with them when Jonny had said it was bedtime. It was safer with everyone. Safer to be surrounded by people. She liked listening to Jonny’s ticking. She liked his _spicesmokewhiskey_ scent.

But.

He’d offered her her own room and she wanted to show what a big girl she was so she didn’t say no politely and ask to sleep in with Jonny, she could be a big girl with her own room that would be fine.

Big girls had their own rooms and weren’t too scared to be allowed to stay with such a big group of nice people.

She could do this.

But she still wanted to be close to him, she’d had a lot of nightmares when she’d tried to sleep back on the ship. She wasn’t sure how much sleep she’d actually had since it had all happened. Sometimes she was awake and sometimes she wasn’t. Both were equally as horrible. Here she was safe. Jonny was safe.

Lily counted in her head as she passed from room to room.

42 steps. She would be 42 steps from his door when she was in her room.

That was fine.

She could run 42 steps in less time that it took for her to say ‘I’m scared’ so that was fine. She knew. She had practice. She knew how fast she could run when her ship made noises after the _bad ones_ left. 

She was a big girl and she could do this.

Between them all they’d removed the junk, found spare sheets, pillows and blankets enough to make the bed comfortably up at least. It was a small room, cosy. The Toy Soldier promised to help her decorate her new room with the paints Raphaella casually offered to mix up for her before the rest departed to resume their songwriting sensing bedtime was probably supposed to be quiet. Everyone got offered (but most definitely did the offering as well) a good night hug and kiss to the cheek. Pretty much everyone accepted. Nastya quietly left a small globe, fished out from god-knew where and tweaked to emit a gentle glow when the light levels dropped below a certain point. She knew what it was to hate the dark before she found comfort in Aurora after all.

She’d cleaned her teeth and face in the main washroom and now wore one of Jonny’s older t-shirts. He tried not to notice how it swamped her like a night dress.

He’d pulled back the sheets and blankets, Lily scrambled inside happily.

“So, um, goodnight? Have nice dreams?” He offered, not sure how this was supposed to work.

A small hand shot out to grab his before he’d even finished the sentence, she didn’t want him to leave, being alone was bad. Being alone was like being on the ship and Lily didn’t ever want to feel like that again. But, she had to be a big girl and show how brave she was. Jonny had said she didn’t have to do something if it scared her but he was grown up so of course he had a different bedtime to her and they had songs to write but if, if she could keep him just a little bit longer that would be alright wouldn’t it? That wouldn’t be too bad and demanding of her would it? Jonny was nice and he was kind, he might stay a little longer?

“Will you tell me a story first please?”

“Story huh?” He quickly thought through which in their repertoire would be suitable for a child. The most recent one, he could talk about hood-wearing heroes and bows and bad guys, that one even had a mostly happy ending.

He grinned, never able to refuse a request for storytelling, he was very good at it and Lily had that ‘I’m scared but I don’t want to show it’ face on so who was he to deny her a bit of comfort he could give when she asked?

“Alright then, settle back.”

Lily lay down, Jonny draped the blankets over her, sat down on the bed and began.

She was asleep before the tournament telling part of the story really had a chance to begin.

It was the first time he’d really seen her asleep and not physically attached to him. She looked so peaceful, so innocent. The rush of affection that engulfed him threatened to topple him. He pulled the blankets a little higher on her and left quietly, turning off the lights, allowing the globe to bathe Lily in a soft moonlight before closing the door gently, determined to ignore the instinct he’d had to press a soft kiss to her sleeping head.

***

This was definitely a bad idea.

“So, how are you doing?” Marius was sat at his desk in the medical bay surveying Jonny who stood awkwardly in the door frame.

Jonny was immediately defensive, “Marius if you are about to try and pull some feelings bullshit on me I will shoot you right here and now. Lily is asleep.”

“You came to me so you want to talk.”

Fuck. He hated it when the bastard was right. Which was more often than he was willing to acknowledge.

Jonny drew his gun but hesitated when pointing it at Marius, it would be satisfying but he didn’t know how much time he had before Lily woke up because he was not stupid enough to think she’d make it through the night without having some pretty shitty nightmares. If _he_ got them she certainly would.

“I don’t want to talk.”

“So piss off then. I’m busy.”

“Like fuck are you. What do you even do here? None of us get ill.”

Marius levelled his own gun. Jonny paused, Fuck, he couldn’t show up to Lily covered in blood, that’d really send her into a tailspin. Something he wanted to avoid at all costs.

Jonny raised his free hand and lowered his gun in the other, “Alright fine, I don’t want to talk but I’m here about Lily.” He re-holstered the gun.

Well that was more honest than Marius had been expecting, this might actually be the beginning of an actual conversation. Huh, “What about her?” he asked aloud.

“You’re good at feeling shit.” Jonny’s usual spectacular oration skills in regards to his own feeling were in full swing it seemed. 

“Uhuh.” _‘And so are you,’_ thought Marius, _‘you just have no idea what to do about it because you have the emotional maturity of a new potato.’_ He decided to roll with this for the time being, “Yes, I can identify emotions every so often.”

“Yeah, that, well, Lily, she’s not going to be okay, she _isn’t_ okay, she’s going to have nightmares, bad ones, it’s all going to hit her about what happened and so, well, what do we do?”

“Um, comfort her? Like you’ve been doing.” The ‘and not actually making a pig’s ear of it so far.’ Remained unsaid.

“But isn’t there some clever bullshit we’re supposed to do and say to make things not-worse?”

“Well I advise against giving her whiskey.”

Jonny’s face closed off, colour rising. “Fuck you Marius, I knew this was a waste of fucking time.”

Marius sobered his expression immediately, the first mate was seriously asking for help for once in his life, the least he could do was try and be reciprocal, “Jonny, wait, sorry, that’s a fair question.”

“Yes it was.” He still looked furious and honestly, a bit scared under all the fury. Best proceed carefully but honestly. 

“It was.” Agreed Marius, “But I don’t have an answer, not a solid one. Because there isn’t one, everyone’s different. And she’s very young. It’s a lot of trauma for a kid to go through who is fundamentally not used to any kind of violence.”

“You get used to it.”

“ _We_ get used to it,” corrected Marius, “we _got_ used to it because we’ve _had_ to. None of us chose this.” It was something he felt needed to be said and said again, oh they all chose to do horrible things when they were planetside or on board Aurora but none of them had actually chosen this life to start with, not even him. The horrible things very much came from very skewered morals that were then eroded over centuries.

“Well it got thrown on her too.” Bit back Jonny.

“Yeah, but she’s from a background without any casual violence, she’s gone from 1 to 100 with nothing in between.” The ‘unlike the rest of us’ also went unsaid, “There’s been no buffer, no desensitisation or worse, no chance to develop healthy coping strategies. Her nightmares are her brain still trying to process what’s just happened to her.”

“So, we ride it out?” pressed Jonny, wanting the clarification of what he was actually supposed to do.

“As best as we can.”

“What, what about, uh, coping strategies? She’s little, really too goddamn little, is there something we can do to, I don’t know, not have this fuck her up forever?”

Marius considered before answering, there was an emotion in Jonny’s eyes he’d not seen before. It was a very tall order he was asking for when what she’d witnessed was so extreme, “I don’t think there’s a way for her to not be affected, it happened, that will always be with her but how she reacts to those memories will be important. We’ve started it with explaining how it wasn’t her fault. We’ve got to keep reinforcing that.”

“Okay, fine. But that can’t be everything.” Jonny was well aware of how he had felt when he was her age and just being told ‘it’s not your fault’ would not have fixed everything for him. At all.

“Listen when she needs to talk, let her work through her emotions, she’s going to be upset and angry but that’s only part of the grief she’s got to work through. This isn’t a one good cry and she’ll be fine kind of deal,

“We know that already!” snapped Jonny, “She’s already sobbed her guts up twice and can’t stand to see any of us die!” 

Marius sighed, drawing on more patience than he was feeling, “You didn’t let me finish, yes, we know that, we also know that she’s going to have a lot of breakdowns over different things for a while. Sometimes she’s going to need a distraction but usually that’ll come after she’s been upset.”

Jonny looked puzzled at that, “Why not before? Head off at the pass?”

“Because that teaches her that we don’t want to deal with her ‘negative’ emotions, that she shouldn’t show them and that’s shitty. If we’re having to be actual, decent guardians to her then we’ve got to do this right and she’s got to feel safe with us.”

Jonny opened his mouth,

“Yes, I know she feels physically safe with us and that’s a fucking miracle,” Marius gave Jonny an appraising look, “well done by the way, really quite impressed there.”

The first mate had no idea what to do with honest praise. He froze.

Marius ploughed on before Jonny could get a snarky response in to deflect like he always did, “but she needs to feel emotionally safe too, that she can be sad and angry and frustrated and scared and miserable just as much as she can share her excitement, happiness and curiosity. We’ve got to roll with that and listen, be supportive.”

“But how are we supposed to be supportive? I get listening and not telling her to stop being a sad sack, I’m not a complete fucking idiot but what else?”

Marius just about resisted rolling his eyes at the first mate’s phrasing, “Answering questions, cuddling her when she needs it, just talking her through things.”

“See that!” Jonny pointed in a weirdly triumphant gesture, “That there. That’s my problem. I have no idea what to fucking say!”

“Jonny you always have something to say.”

“Not like this! Not when it can have an impact!”

“Everything you say can have an impact.” Marius pointed out reasonably.

“Not on you fuckers.”

Marius sighed, that was probably a conversation for another day. “Okay, well aside from the fact that that is not true, yeah I see what you mean. What are you particularly worried about?”

All the bluster evaporated, “Making it worse.” Jonny admitted quietly.

That was surprisingly honest.

“How could you make it worse?” asked Marius gently.

“I don’t know!” Jonny snapped, suddenly reignited, “I’m me, you know what I’m like, I can’t touch anything without making it worse!”

Okay, wow. Wasn’t Marius learning all about Jonny’s internal workings today?

“That’s also not true,” Jonny tried to argue but Marius bull-dozered him, it was the only way sometimes when dealing with Jonny, “you’ve made Lily feel safe and that is an achievement in and of itself, today with the shooting you realised she wasn’t alright and made it clear that was valid and she didn’t need to go through with anything she didn’t want to do, especially not with the worry of being in trouble for it _and_ you’re actually thinking about this which is a leap ahead of what you usually do.” Marius paused since Jonny was beginning to look like a dear in the headlights, he decided to summarise, “Look, just think about what you’re saying.”

“Easy for you to say.”

Marius sighed, just about resisting to theatrically pinch the bridge of his nose, it was like talking to a volatile wall sometimes, a volatile wall with wild eye liner. “Fine,” he decided to play the ace up his sleeve, “imagine you’re speaking to a young Nastya.”

Jonny’s face went cold.

“Fuck you.”

“We’ve established I’m too expensive for you.” Marius got serious, the name drop had had the effect of cutting through to him, “Look, I know you and Nasyta are close, I’ve got eyes. You care about her and don’t fucking deny it. You try to look out for her when she’s having a bad day.”

“You sneaky fucking—” Jonny looked furious, his relationship with Nastya was theirs and no one else’s to pry on, they’d endured the most together and—

“Jonny, I. Have. Eyes. And you are the least stealthy person on this whole fucking ship. It’s not a bad thing to care you asshole. And you clearly care about Lily. Just be there for her, reassure her. We’ve got the added bonus that we can’t die and leave her. That’s some solid security for her right there. Just comfort her after her nightmares, don’t get judgy or frustrated or mocking when she’s upset and try to talk to her like you’re both people.”

Fine. Just fine then. He huffed internally, it wasn’t a bad piece of advice, even if he didn’t like that that Marius was aware that he cared about Nasyta. Bastard. Still, he could do most of that, not sure about the people front though.

“I’ve not been a regular person for a long time, nor has any fucker on this ship, even you.”

“Alright fine, but you still feel things.” Argued Marius pointedly.

“Maybe.” Was his very mature response.

“Whatever,” came Marius’ equally mature response, “look, if you can remember was it was like to be a kid, think about the stuff you might have liked to have heard said to you.”

Jonny’s eyes widened a fraction. Well that hit a nerve. Fuck. Jonny might not be great at emoting healthily but Marius was apparently dancing a jig over a minefield. Goddamn it. He really should have known better this time.

“Look Jonny,” he began to placate with his best no-nonsense voice, “there isn’t a sure fire way to deal with or solve any of this, Lily is going to process this at her own pace, all we can do is look after her while she does, we don’t rush her, we’re just there for her. All she needs from us is to learn that it’s okay to be upset and not okay and we won’t abandon her no matter how often she’s upset or angry. That we’re here and not going away, even if she has to scream until she can’t scream anymore. She needs stability and consistency from us. So that’s basically doing what we’re doing. She’s already cried several times and been comforted. We just keep doing that. We help her figure out good things to keep her occupied and focused and steer her away from dangerous habits.”

“Like what?”

“Well shooting herself in the head for a start.”

Jonny looked appalled, going white as a sheet, “She can’t do that! That’s, it’s, no! That’s _permanent_ for her!”

“Exactly, so maybe don’t set an example there.”

Jonny’s horror morphed into a scowl, “Oh fuck you. You don’t get to turn this into a therapy session for me.”

Marius sniffed refusing to give ground on being rumbled, “Did nothing of the sort. Anyway, smoking and drinking are other bad things she shouldn’t do.”

“I am not stopping either of those.” Jonny crossed his arms defensively.

“No, but we still don’t let her pick them up as ways to deal, she’s too young for a start and she’s very mortal and both of those will also be _permanently_ damaging for her. Just, try and keep an eye out for any behaviours that could be hurtful to her and steer her away from them, fuck it you might have to talk to her about it, or one of the rest of us will but we’ll deal with that if it comes up. Right now, we’ve got an eight year old child that just needs to be told everything will be okay eventually.”

“That’s not—”

A scream erupted from somewhere in the ship.

Jonny bolted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be continued...
> 
> Thank you again for reading this far into the story! We've got one more chapter for this story and then it'll be onto some one shots for this 'verse! This story is absolutely keeping me sane and I appreciate each and every one of you who reads, gives kudos and comments on this fic! You're all helping me to stay sane, day 104 in isolation and counting! Woo!
> 
> I hope everyone is staying safe and well!


	11. An Ending, An Agreement and a beginning of how things mean to go on...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jonny charges towards the source of the screams, discussions are had and an agreement is made...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter in this particular Lily fic, there's some fairly heavy discussions about what happened to Lily's parents and crew but there is also plenty of cuddly comfort too!

The first mate was already running full tilt towards Lily’s door having outstripped Marius way back, adrenaline coursing through him more urgently than during any gig or gunfight when the second scream sounded.

He barrelled into her room, hitting the lights on and scooping her up before she’d had chance to draw breath for a third round, platitudes already falling frantically from his lips.

“Lily! Lily! It’s alright, it’s alright, you’re safe, it’s fine, I’ve got you.”

Lily flailed in panic for a moment before her senses caught up to her overwrought brain, she was looking at Jonny, Jonny was holding her, she could smell the _spicesmokewhiskey_. Jonny had his arms around her. It was alright, it was alright. It was—

Lily burst in howling tears.

Jonny held her tighter, trying to swallow his own panic, beginning to rock her gently hoping to soothe her.

“They’re GONE! They’re GONE! THEY LEFT ME AND THEY DIDN’T COME BACK!”

Fuck.

He’d hoped they’d have a bit more time before reality properly kicked in.

There was nothing he could really say to that. It was all true. Marius had said sometimes you’ve just got to scream, scream until you can’t scream anymore. And, even though he’s not a doctor he’s probably the closest thing they have on board to someone who understands actual psychology. Jonny was willing to take on board pretty much everything Marius had said, the image of a wailing terrified Lily sat bolt upright in bed, wide-eyed and gasping was going to stay with him an unpleasantly long time and he very much wanted her to be alright as soon as mortally possible.

Jonny gently placed one hand on her head guiding her to lean against his chest, letting her wail out her pain.

Several loud frenetic footsteps sounded down the corridor, followed by concerned faces appearing. Taking in the scene of Jonny sat on Lily’s bed, the child howling into his chest as he tried to soothe her.

“What happened?”

“Nightmare. I think it’s kicked in for her what happened on her ship, happened and can’t un-happen.”

“Ah.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah.”

“Do, do you want help?” Tim looked like it physically pained him to ask but the offer was genuine. Lily was so very small and the universe had suddenly got a whole lot bigger and colder for her. He remembered that yawning desolation before the rage took over.

Jonny shook his head, answering honestly with none of his usual derision or scorn, “No, not, not this time I don’t think. I, I think it might, I think she might need just one of us this time. Too much otherwise. But, but thanks.”

Tim was taken aback at Jonny’s response, he’d sounded equally genuine, lost and more than a bit overwhelmed but genuine. He didn’t know Jonny could do actual emotion that wasn’t spawned by rage or alcohol or wild blood-drunk euphoria, he’d never heard that tone from him before. Not even in the tunnels. And it looked like he might be right, Lily was sobbing brokenly into his chest, trembling and screaming by turns. Adding anything else for her to deal with right now was probably not going to help.

But fuck it did he hope Jonny was not about to make this worse by being him.

“We’ll stay close, if you need us,” Ashes was ever-practical, “you’re doing—” They weren’t sure what to say so they went with what they hoped for, “it’ll be okay.” They nodded at Jonny who returned the gesture. Ashes knew Jonny could be an absolute bastard, hell, he _was_ an absolute bastard most of the time but he seemed to actually care and care deeply for Lily, so maybe, just maybe he might not fuck this up. Stranger things had happened and she was clinging to him as though he was the last thing in her world and that might very well be true right now. They’d all have to see. They wished him the best of luck, he was going to need it.

Tim and Ashes beat a retreat, closing the door gently, staying close in case either they or someone else was needed. This was going to be fun.

Jonny just sat rocking her, holding her close, hoping to give her a sense that she wasn’t alone. He made no attempt to shush her just like Marius advised, just held her whilst she keened through some of her grief. After what felt like hours she finally began to quieten. Jonny started to rub circles into her back, humming Rose Red so that it began to resonate in his chest.

Slowly Lily’s tears ceased, her face red and blotchy and exhausted.

Jonny carried on humming, rocking and cuddling, letting her speak first mainly because he didn’t know what else to do.

“Why?”

Fuck. “That’s a big question.” He stated as gently as he could.

“Why did they come? Why did they want to hurt us? We didn’t do anything wrong!”

Fuck, fuck, fuck. “I know, I know you didn’t. They came because that’s what raiders do. They thought you would have things that they needed and they came to take them.” He tried to explain, tried to make it as simple as possible for her. The sad truth was that it was just that simple. It always was.

“But they could have asked! We would have shared! They didn’t need to shoot and rip and kill everyone!”

And didn’t that just sum up her outlook? Being willing to share with people who’d rather shoot than look at you. This was really going to hurt. He took a deep breath, trying desperately to put into words the obviously alien mentality for her, feeling more and more like the monster he knew himself to be, a wolf in wolf’s clothing. “I know,” he began as carefully as he could, “but they’re used to just taking, when you have more people than others or more weapons sometimes you decide you don’t have to ask and you get used to not asking. You just go and take whatever you want.” He was trying to brace for the scorching amounts of hypocrisy that were poised to burn him.

Lily’s face crumpled, screwing up with rage and misery, “It’s not FAIR! We were good! We didn’t hurt anyone! We were just looking for a new home!”

Jonny felt his guts twist. She was right, it wasn’t fair but the universe didn’t care about fair, and the raiders that had wrecked her life sure as fuck didn’t either, “I know, I know Lemondrop,” he tried to reason, still unconsciously rocking her, “but they don’t work on what is fair and what’s not. They use the rule of whoever is bigger and stronger wins, not whoever is bigger and stronger looks after those who aren’t.”

“They should.” She argued with all the conviction of someone raised for eight years on solid morals and the underlying principles of ‘right’ and ‘fair’ fuelling all actions. This was a hell of rug-pull.

“I know.” If there was any good in this reality then they should but Jonny was older than he cared to think about, had seen wonderous and terrible things and never in all his existence had he seen evidence of ‘fair’ or ‘balance’ in action. Fair was what you made for yourself and nothing else.

“They, they killed everyone. They killed everyone and no one stopped them! They just left. They came and they killed and they stole and they left. Everyone was gone. They left and I was on my own and I couldn’t stop them. Mummy and Daddy tried to fight them, I saw them, but they were just shot like they didn’t matter, like it was a game. They screamed.”

Lily broke into a long wail that sounded like empty corridors and echoing darkness.

Oh _fuck_. Well that was new, he along with the rest of them had suspected but really hoped it wasn’t the case. Another thing to add to the list. 

He held her as wailed, waiting for her to calm again, staying quiet, holding her, rocking her, waiting for her speak again.

The little girl quieted again, took a deep shuddering breath then spoke again, voicing the thing that had been the most devastating to her, “And no one stopped them.”

“I’m sorry.” Because what else could you say to that? He meant it too.

“I want to stop them.” Her little voice had hardened, taking on a decided edge, “I want to make sure they can’t hurt anyone else. There’s lots of them aren’t there? You’re good at shooting. Everyone here is. We can stop them!”

Jonny, sometimes, _really_ hated being right.

He steeled himself.

“We can, but Lily, I need you look up at me now.”

She shifted a little to face him fully.

“We can do that but right now they are long, long way away. And you need to know that going after them, to _stop_ them means you want to kill them.”

Lily sat up straighter, meeting Jonny head-on, “Yes. I want to kill them. Like they killed my mummy and daddy.”

And there was that core of steel in her on show again, fuck, he knew this was going to be difficult but he’d seriously underestimated how tough. Things were so much harder when you cared about the outcome. “I know, but killing people, no matter why, is a big thing and it changes you. You want something called revenge. You want to punish them for hurting you and your people.”

“Yes.” As if it was the simplest thing in the world. It probably was to her, it used to be for Jonny a very, very long time ago. Hell, it used to be pretty simple two days ago but now? Well.

“That’s a choice you have to make, I’m not saying you can’t make it but there are a lot of other things you can do too.” Jonny had never hoped harder that he could actually get across his meaning clearly, “Deciding to go and kill people for wronging you makes sense, I know it does but it eats you up inside Lily, it takes over everything you think about until all you want to do is kill.” He fixed her with a look he didn’t share all that often; total sincerity. She had to know he was telling the honest truth, “And when you do, you feel amazing, you feel like you can do anything. And then it passes, it’s only a short moment. A blink of an eye.” His lips twisted into a wry smile, “The beat of a heart. And then you look back you realise you wasted so much time focusing on one thing you missed everything else, you missed so much you can enjoy. And everything feels empty because the one thing you filled yourself up with is gone and there’s nothing there to replace it. You’re just hollow.”

Lily furrowed her brow at him as she tried to follow what he meant.

He tried again, taking another steading breath, trying to put it into easier terms for her.

“You’re eight right now Lily and you’ve got your whole life to live and make choices, good ones and bad ones but they are yours to make. I was twelve years older than you when I made my choice, I knew more of the world and what path it would lead me down, I knew it would hurt but I didn’t know how much.” Boy had he not known just how _much_ , “But you’ve got a lot more living to do before you get there. Only you can choose what you fill yourself up with, it doesn’t have to be one thing or another, it can be whatever you enjoy, some of everything, reading, cooking, music.”

Lily’s brow furrowed in a frown, she knew exactly what she wanted, blue eyes flashing with determination, “But I want to stop them, they need to be stopped!”

“I agree, I do Lemondrop.” Fuck it, he changed a tack a little, genuinely terrified she was about to declare a one-person crusade, “Look, I’ll make you a deal. They are halfway across the galaxy by now, it will take us years to catch up with them (a lie but an honest one, Aurora can be fast when she wants to be but a) she really has to want to be and Jonny is not about to ask Nastya to ask her and b) that is not the point right now) you stay with us, you make your choices, when you are grown if you still want to hunt them down then I will be alongside you, shoulder to shoulder and we will make those bastards wish they’d never been born. What do you say?”

Lily was silent. Jonny could practically hear her thinking. He wished it could drown out the sound of his heart ticking frantically, pounding against his ribs as he prayed to a deity he didn’t believe in that he’d not got this wrong.

“I can stay?”

“Yes, for as long as you want.”

“With all of you?”

“Yes, Aurora is our home. It can be yours too.”

A slow smile spread over her face, “Can you teach me to shoot more guns? More than we did today? With Tim?”

His heart began to speed up again, but a deal was a deal. “Yes, I can. Tim will definitely want to as well.”

“Tim’s got a lot of guns.” She stated, a look of excited anticipation on her face.

“Yes he does, they are his favourite thing.”

“Do you think he’d show me how to use them all?” She turned her hopeful eyes up to him.

“You’d have to ask him, and you’ll have to grow before you try the bigger ones.” Jonny could feel the panic sweeping through him, he’d fucked up, he wasn’t good enough at explaining and now she was hell bent on revenge and it would ruin her and it was all his—

“Can, can you teach me to sing too?”

Jonny’s frantic, panicked spiral screeched to a halt, “What?”

“I want to sing like you, I like your voice, you sound like so many different people in the stories, I want to do that! You can sound really big and scary or really pretty and everything in between!”

Jonny had never had any aspect of himself described as _pretty_ in his many, _many_ years.

“I—” He forced his brain to catch up to his mouth carrying on, trying to ignore the growing cry of ‘fucking thank fuck!’ that was building in what was left of his soul, “of course, we can certainly have a go.” He wasn’t sure how kid’s voices developed, he was aware of a vague memory of being able to sing much higher notes than he could now but the details were hazy. 

“And I want to learn the harmonica and the violin and the guitar and the piano and the flute and—”

The relief that flooded him was like nothing he’d ever experienced.

“Can you teach me to read and write music too? It’s like another language and I want to learn!”

Jonny’s face split into a beaming grin, genuinely and utterly thrilled, “Of course we can! Between us all we’ll make a one-Lily band out of you!”

The child beamed back then plastered herself against him.

“Thank you.”

He hugged her back with everything he had, “You’re welcome Lemondrop, you’re part of the crew now.”

She squeezed him before drawing back, “I am?”

“Most definitely.”

“Then I know what I want to learn first.”

“What’s that then?”

“How to cook! You don’t have a proper ship’s cook and that’s important!”

“So it is. Well, we’ll have to make you chief culinary officer.”

She giggled at the fancy name then sobered, realising what this meant, having a new role, being allowed to stay, being a part of a new group, a new crew. It meant the other one was one she could never go back to. There wasn’t anything left to return to.

“Jonny?” her voice was small again.

“Yes?” He felt the mood shift and tried to brace himself. Marius had warned him it would come in waves.

“I, I miss my mummy and daddy.”

His arms tightened around her again, holding her close as if that would protect her from the worst of the universe, a pointless endeavour but he did it anyway. “I know you do Lemondrop.”

“Do you still have a mummy and daddy?”

The question made his breath catch, wasn’t _that_ a question. “I, no, no I don’t. They died a very long time ago.”

“Do you miss them?”

Fuck, what hell was he supposed to say to that?! Telling her he’d killed his own father was obviously, even to him, not a good move right now.

“I, er, sometimes, it was a very long time ago they died. Sometimes I miss my mother’s singing, she used to sew, she was a tailor and she’d sing as she worked.”

It was true, Sarah Vangelis had had a beautiful singing voice. “But it was a long time ago, I, I have to really think about them now, I have to really want to think about them. The rest of the time they just,” he scrabbled around for a suitable expression, “just sort of sleep, at the back of my mind. It doesn’t hurt anymore to think about them now but it takes time.” He thought about what Marius had said about her probably having repeated breakdowns and decided, like a good gambler to try and hedge his bets, “it’ll hurt for a long time but it does get better, and if you need to cry or scream or hit something that’s fine, come and find one of us. But it does get better.” It gets better if you’re immortal and you honestly don’t care but like fuck was he saying THAT out loud.

“Oh, okay.” She sniffed but seemed to take the words to heart, cuddling back against his chest and breathing in deeply.

“Do you want to go back to sleep?” It was a long-shot but worth a go.

“No.”

“Okay, what do you want to do?” He had no idea what the correct follow up to this sort of level of upset was so he was more than happy to let her take the lead on what she actually needed right now.

Lily paused, thinking about it before deciding. “I’m thirsty.”

Thank fuck. That was something he could do for her and do it easily. “Water good for you?”

“Yes please.”

“Alright then, shall we head to the mess then?”

“Yes.” She cuddled closer into Jonny.

He carefully wiped her face with the last remaining not-snotty and sobbed-on part of his waistcoat. Once she was cleaned up he grinned at her, eliciting a returning one from her. Jonny felt another, rapidly becoming familiar, rush of pride. Lily was so small, she’d been through something no kid should go through and here she was still smiling. Brave kid.

Before he thought about it he pressed a kiss to her mop of wild hair.

Lily sighed and settled against him, breathing more easily now since before her nightmare.

Jonny really had not a single fucking clue where half of his actions were coming from. He certainly wasn’t thinking about it beforehand.

He made a decision.

If, at any point he had a feeling or emotion that he would normally dismiss as pathetically sappy and make him want to shoot someone when he was around Lily he should probably give in, follow that instinct and do the thing. So far it seemed to working okay to make her feel a bit better.

“Right then, off we go.”

He stood with her latched tight onto him, stepping out into the corridor.

Ashes and Tim had been keeping a vigil, playing cards quietly with Marius who’d appeared at a run from around the corner as soon as they’d left Jonny to console Lily and Brian who’d stuck around once he’d found out what was happening. The Toy Soldier had turned up not long after the pilot and had been ordered to keep its voice down.

They all knew this moment would come, Lily couldn’t stay distracted for long and all the tears she’d had so far been more of a flashback triggered by actual violence happening and feeling guilty.

The full crash of reality had probably hit in several stages so far. God only knew how often the poor kid had wailed on her own on the wreck of the ship. At least now there were warm bodies to hold her through it. Even if they belonged to the Mechanisms.

Marius caught the others up briefly on what he’d suggested to Jonny. For once, no one raised an argument.

Ivy and Raphaella unintentionally stumbled across the group, they’d got caught up discussing basic biological needs of human children based on the books Ivy had uncovered from her library. Raphaella had begun research into suitable sources for essential vitamins and minerals that Lily would need to grow properly. She clearly had some catching up to do if the research about average heights and weights were to be believed.

Nastya appeared once Aurora had told her that Jonny’s predictions had in fact come to pass and he was dealing with it surprisingly well.

The engineer actually had faith in the first mate that he would manage without any serious mishaps. She also knew that she fundamentally had more faith in him than he did in himself any day of the week if they stuck to a calendar and it would be good for him to be able to deal with something important without shooting it but she never missed the opportunity for a supportive ‘I told you so’ mocking.

Jonny emerged looking different. There was something about the way he was holding himself, the expression he wore, the cast to his face.

It took the others a while to figure it out.

He wasn’t just relieved, he was peaceful.

Lily was still looking pretty blotchy from all the crying but she too looked calm, like something had unequivocally shifted.

Whatever Jonny had said must have worked.

“What’re you lot doing here? Mess too big?” Jonny’s usual derisive tone at least back where it should be. 

“Yeah, wanted to see how many of us it took to block the corridor.”

“Just one of you will do it.” He snarked back easily.

“Did you all hear me?” A quiet, nervous voice spoke up. All attention was directed to Lily.

“Ye—” Marius elbowed Tim in the side to shut him up.

“What do you mean?” Asked Marius, trying to soften the obviousness of the scene.

“I didn’t mean to cry so loud.” A bright blush was creeping over Lily’s face.

“Aww, that’s alright.” The Not-Baron tried to reassure, “We were just worried. It looks like Jonny got there first anyway.” Actually Marius was impressed at how fast Jonny had hurtled out of his med bay, he knew Jonny was faster than him but he’d not appreciated just how much faster he could run if he really meant to. It was quite a feat.

Lily tightened her grip on him, pressing closer. Jonny was very tempted to tell them all to fuck off and leave her alone but she was doing that little wiggly thing he’d noticed which meant she was going to try and say something even if she was scared.

Lily shifted a little in his arms to face them all, “I had a nightmare. My mummy and daddy aren’t coming back and I miss them.” Her eyes filled with tears but she ploughed on, “I don’t want to be alone again. It was cold and dark and horrible on my ship after the _bad ones_ left. Jonny said I could stay with you, I want to stay here with you and learn how to do the things you do. I want to stop the bad ones when I’m a grown up but Jonny says I need to know lots of things before that and I want to learn. Will you show me?”

Eyes cast very quickly around the room, Jonny had schooled his expression into something sombre for once. He couldn’t yell or shoot this thing into happening much as he wanted to, the others had agreed to keep her but teaching her? Taking actual ownership of this situation was on them. He knew where he stood on this. The others had to decide for themselves.

Several mouths opened, closed, opened again. All of them trying to work out what the right thing was to say. It was obviously more than what she was asking.

“What sort of things do you want to learn?” Asked Nastya softly.

“I want to learn how to sing like you all and play music and learn how to read it and write my own! You all play so many instruments and I want to learn them all! I want to learn how to read the stars and shoot lots of different guns properly and read lots of books and learn how to look after Aurora and people, I want to learn how to play lots of card games and cook! I want to be a really good cook and make nice things for everyone! Jonny said I can be ships cook!”

“Oh did he?” Ashes raised an eyebrow.

“Just out assigning crew roles now are we?” commented Tim in a mock-huff, the kid clearly actually enjoyed cooking and sharing that with them so it was a nice move on Jonny’s part. Not that he would let Jonny know that of course.

“I am the Captain!”

“First mate!” Came the universal reply.

“Well I’m a captain and I think I should be ships cook because you don’t have a proper one and I like making food!” Chimed in Lily, feeling a lot more secure at hearing the now familiar teasing. 

“She’s got a point and she does outrank Jonny” Mused Raphaella as if seriously considering the proposition.

“Fuck you!”

“Well—” Began Marius.

“She’s a 42% better cook than most of us already.” Added Ivy.

“That’s,” Tim paused, thinking over the fact, “fair actually.”

“Alright then, ship’s cook it is.” Agreed Brian, more than happy to have a reason to continue the communal meals. It had been the most pleasant few days of the past few years with everyone sitting and eating together, enjoying each other’s company without any violence for once.

“But I’m going to need some help. Please?”

“I think we can manage that between us all Lily.” Assured Brian, he already enjoyed cooking with her and was delighted to be asked to continue.

“Really?”

“Yes, I think between us all we can help you learn the things you want to. You’re one of us now.” Explained Nastya, rare smile glowing out of her face, pleased for both Lily and Jonny than this was to be the path explored.

“Jolly Spiffing To Have You On Board Old Chum!”

Lily beamed, her eyes welling up again, this time in joy and pure relief.

“Thank you! Thank you! Everyone! So Much!” She started to cry again, too overwhelmed to hold anything back, “Can? Can I?”

“What is it Lemondrop?” Whispered Jonny uncharacteristically gentle. Kid had had a hell of a day, he was more than willing to throw her a bone right now. 

“Can I hug everyone?” She asked shyly, face half buried back into his chest.

“Um—” He took a moment before double checking, “At once?” He suspected that was what she wanted, having everyone around last night had helped too.

“Yes please.” She sniffed. She wanted, needed to know it was real, that they were real. That she really was safe and secure in this new world.

Jonny levelled a challenging glare at the others, “You heard her.”

The others shared a look. This was probably going to happen a lot in the coming weeks and months so they might as well get used to it.

No one felt the need to mention that it wasn’t awful having a big group hug, that having had the group sleepy cuddle pile last night this in comparison was nothing. And, well, it would obviously help make Lily feel better which they were all in favour of.

Nastya and Marius moved first followed quickly by Tim, Ashes and Brian. Ivy and Raphaella joining in when the others send out glares. The Toy Soldier was thrilled to be included. Lily, still in Jonny’s arms shifted so her back was to his chest, she was still safe and secure against him but now she could reach the others too.

The initial hug was peppered with stepped-on toes and elbows in ribs but the crew quickly settled, hugging each other more than the tiny child they surrounded though no one would admit it.

Especially that they were enjoying it.

“Thank you.” came the little voice from the middle of the crowd. “Thank you for saying I can stay.”

“You’re one of us now Lily.” Came the heartfelt reply. The others murmured in agreement.

And so she was. Even if it was a million miles from what she’d known deep in her heart she knew against all the odds she’d found another home.

A family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the end of the first Lily-verse story from me, I’ve got plenty more ideas for one shots for this ‘verse because I love both the Mechs and Lily and I want to give them all the soft moments I can because I can and I will live vicariously through all the hugs they share with one another!
> 
> (Also, anyone who has heard the last verse of Rose Red in Once Upon a Time in Space or Elysian Fields from Ulysses Dies at Dawn knows that Jonny’s voice can be decidedly pretty when he wants it to be!)
> 
> Please let me know what you think of this story, thank you to everyone who's taken the time to read and comment on it so far, you guys have all helped make lockdown that bit more bearable! 
> 
> I hope you are all staying safe and healthy!


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